Dunce
February 4th, 2013, 12:55 PM
I'm feeling some feelings for this guy, and it's really complicated because I don't know if I'm crushing on him or not. Let me explain...
The feelings I feel for guys are different from the feelings I have felt for girls. I have felt this before, when I was in primary school (I'll describe the feeling in a bit), last time I felt this for a guy was when I was 13. Six years ago, pretty long.
People are always talking about their first cruses being when they were like 12, but mine was when I was about six :what:
A few years after my friends discovered boys, I discovered girls. I started being attracted to girls at the age of 14, I was nearly 15.
I'm not attracted to girls anymore, nor boys.
Now, the feelings...
With girls, it was always a very tender feeling (embarrassed at using that word), like I felt vulnerable but totally just bashful at how cute some girls were. I felt shy, but I could still talk to girls and stuff. And I would have had a relationship with a girl, nothing left out. I don't even find women attractive anymore though, I haven't liked one in about 3 years.
Guys, and this current guy, I feel really attached and attracted to him, but I can't imagine a sexual relationship, or any relationship really. It's always the personality that first gets me. Has to be. I think another girl likes him, and even though it hurts to think of him with someone else I still think they should be together because I can't even imagine being with him. The notion is just totally outside the box for me for some reason. I feel a connection with him, even though I don't know if we have much in common. I mean, we're very similar, but that other girl who likes me shares hobbies and interests with him. I just want to be around him. He's the nicest, I'd marry the guy, I feel like I do have feelings for him but that I'm not right for him nor would I want to be with him sexually (well I mean I don't fantasize about him ever ever).
He makes me feel emotionally satisfied just by being around. I feel like I could believe in anything by the way he makes me feel. I am shy around him too.
It's like, some crushes I've had before I feel like my feelings are sort of conditional and I feel vulnerable. With him sure I feel vulnerable, but I feel like I like him no matter what he thinks of me, which is something I haven't felt in ages.
I'm thinking maybe it's admiration I feel for men? But it's pretty strong admiration, plus I've felt it before. And then that makes me wonder whether I might be genderqueer if I do just admire men...? I mean, there's women I admire but I've never felt this for a woman. Admiration I've felt for women has never been crush-esque, it's not really feelings driven.
This is why I'm so confused. I've liked guys and girls before, and I felt asexual until this guy, but even when I liked guys and girls I like them in different ways and I can't seem to fit it into romantic or sexual love.
I know that I don't have to label myself and I just have to go with my feelings, but I just want advice if anyone has felt this before, and peoples opinions.
The feelings I feel for guys are different from the feelings I have felt for girls. I have felt this before, when I was in primary school (I'll describe the feeling in a bit), last time I felt this for a guy was when I was 13. Six years ago, pretty long.
People are always talking about their first cruses being when they were like 12, but mine was when I was about six :what:
A few years after my friends discovered boys, I discovered girls. I started being attracted to girls at the age of 14, I was nearly 15.
I'm not attracted to girls anymore, nor boys.
Now, the feelings...
With girls, it was always a very tender feeling (embarrassed at using that word), like I felt vulnerable but totally just bashful at how cute some girls were. I felt shy, but I could still talk to girls and stuff. And I would have had a relationship with a girl, nothing left out. I don't even find women attractive anymore though, I haven't liked one in about 3 years.
Guys, and this current guy, I feel really attached and attracted to him, but I can't imagine a sexual relationship, or any relationship really. It's always the personality that first gets me. Has to be. I think another girl likes him, and even though it hurts to think of him with someone else I still think they should be together because I can't even imagine being with him. The notion is just totally outside the box for me for some reason. I feel a connection with him, even though I don't know if we have much in common. I mean, we're very similar, but that other girl who likes me shares hobbies and interests with him. I just want to be around him. He's the nicest, I'd marry the guy, I feel like I do have feelings for him but that I'm not right for him nor would I want to be with him sexually (well I mean I don't fantasize about him ever ever).
He makes me feel emotionally satisfied just by being around. I feel like I could believe in anything by the way he makes me feel. I am shy around him too.
It's like, some crushes I've had before I feel like my feelings are sort of conditional and I feel vulnerable. With him sure I feel vulnerable, but I feel like I like him no matter what he thinks of me, which is something I haven't felt in ages.
I'm thinking maybe it's admiration I feel for men? But it's pretty strong admiration, plus I've felt it before. And then that makes me wonder whether I might be genderqueer if I do just admire men...? I mean, there's women I admire but I've never felt this for a woman. Admiration I've felt for women has never been crush-esque, it's not really feelings driven.
This is why I'm so confused. I've liked guys and girls before, and I felt asexual until this guy, but even when I liked guys and girls I like them in different ways and I can't seem to fit it into romantic or sexual love.
I know that I don't have to label myself and I just have to go with my feelings, but I just want advice if anyone has felt this before, and peoples opinions.