Change of heart

[Miggy_C]

Me and my girlfriend got together a little bit before I turned 16 and I was madly in love with her and would've done anything for her. I even drove 6 hours to see her for an hour on our 1 year anniversary because she was on vacation and we really wanted to see each other. I was promptly grounded once I returned home but I didn't care that's how much I loved her. I'm almost 18 now and all that has changed, for no apparent reason. One day I just woke up and wasn't feeling it anymore. Everyone knows and wants us to get married, our families, our friends and I thought that's what I wanted to but now it's different.

She was the first girl I ever really dated. So I devoted everything to her and she did the same for me we're basically a part of each others families as if we were married. That's why this is so hard, I know if I broke up with her it would crush everything and hurt her so much. I couldn't bear doing that to her, but at the same time trying to keep up this facade is becoming harder and harder.

I love her and I still want her in my life, but not as my girlfriend, just as a friend. She did nothing for me not to love her i'm just not feeling it anymore. Putting it simply, its not her its me. I know that's a cliche but it's true. I just want to get out there and see what it's like to date other people.

I don't know how to handle this situation without someone getting hurt. I used to give my friends advice and say, "Hurting them is inevitable, but it has to be done." It sounded so simple, and easy when I gave the advice but actually doing it myself. It's a nightmare.

[CharlieHorse]

Why do you think you stopped loving her?
It sounds like you're going through a phase. I'd give it a week or two.
And you dont have to answer this, but it's just a data point... have you two had any sexual stuff happen?

[Miggy_C]

We have performed oral on each other but not sex

[CharlieHorse]

We have performed oral on each other but not sex

hmm... well, i'd do like i said before and see if it goes away after a week or two.
how long have you been feeling like this?

[Miggy_C]

The feelings off and on for a couple months but lately its been more frequent.

[unnamed94]

it seems you should think about it. i was going to say give it a week or so like someone else said but if its been going on for a couple of months now (on and off) then its more than just a phase. think about what you truly feel about her now, sometimes love just fades away without having her do something for you to stop loving her. just keep in mind that you cant expect your relationship with her to be the way it was when it all started because relationships and people change. if you do think you should break it up, just follow the advice you gave your friends

[BlueJaysGirl]

i think you and her should talk..
thats the best option.

[saturnine]

Tough, I know. I say; talk to her, let out your feelings. Let her know that you don't want to break up with her just yet- just tell her how this has been a recurring thing. I know how it is to just wake up and not feel anything anymore. I took it badly and broke the guy's heart. I didn't want him as a friend, though, so that was my best option. For you, it's reverse. Just work through it together. Relationships like these (the true love, the support of your family and friends, the limerence expressed) experience tough times- and true love shines through when you get through situations like this. Good luck; just remember- do what makes you happiest in the end.

[Wowwhy]

I have trouble with girls too. The best advice I can give you is to be true to her and give all your feelings to her in you own type of words.

[xkellsyeahninja]

People who have been dating someone for a long time usually go through phases like this, it' completely normal. What you have to decide is that if you really don't love her anymore, or if it's something else. Just make a list of all the things that you love about her, and things that are really special about your relationship, and the great memories you've had. Maybe the reason why you were so passionately in love with her at the beginning will come back to you. Don't give up just yet.