I want to tell my parents, but how?

[SkinnyBones]

I realize now my self harm has become an addiction. For the past few days I had to self harm just to go to be capable of sleeping. It's all I think about. And I am scared I might fully commit soon....

But the problem with just telling my parents is I recently got in trouble with grades. So I am grounded to death at the moment. They also thing Self Injury is stupid and I can just be happy again if I wanted to.

I really want to.

Plus this whole thing of I don't want to lose my secret. I have been doing this since 5th grade... it's been 4 years of self harm. I can't lose it, I want to get this over with so I can wear short sleeves. But I just can't stop....

What should I do? I want to get help, but I don't want my parents to kick me out, or hate me.

I can't talk to the school councilor because they will tell my parents and I think that would be worse.

[georgiamay]

I just realised it's been a few days since you posted, so thought I'd jump in.

I think telling your parents is a really good idea, even if they aren't particularly understanding. My guess is that you're under 18, so to get help you'll probably have to talk to your parents anyway. Whatever you do, don't let your parents find out on their own, that's a horrible situation to be in. People get angry, arguments start, and everyone jumps to conclusions. Make sure that when they do find out, it's because you brought it to their attention. It means you're in control of what they know, and you can decide how to tell them. Believe me, it's so much better to be in that position than coming home from school to find your parents at home waiting for you after they've had a phone call.

Personally, I think the best way to start is to tell them that you have something important you want to talk to them about. Maybe ask them to promise to wait until you've finished speaking before they say anything, so you can explain things fully to avoid misunderstandings. Then say what's wrong. Don't start with "I self harm," start with something like, "lately I've been feeling really down," or whatever the problem is. If it was something in particular that caused you to start self harming, even if it was years ago, tell them about it. Say "Ever since this, I've been feeling this, and it hasn't gone away." Then talk about how you're coping with that, and that's when you should bring in the self harm, and how it helps you to cope with things.

I'd suggest having information about self harm in general, maybe print out a few pages from websites? Just to make sure they understand what it is and why people do it. It might also be a good idea to have an idea about how you want to get help. Maybe say that you're going to make a doctors appointment or you've found somewhere for councelling, and that you could really use their support.

These are just some ideas, good luck with everything, I hope it goes well :)

[candabear17]

If you want to tell your parents you need to keep this in mind. They haven't gone through what you're going through right now. They won't understand why or how cutting helps you. Not knowing what's hurting your child and not being able to help or protect them is one of the scariest things a parent can go through. Try to be understanding if they freak out (which they probably will. Not going to lie about that) and reassure them that it's good for you to tell them so you can get the help you need. I believe 100% that telling your parents is the right thing for you to do. It will be hard and you will regret it sometimes (eg: you want to shave your legs but they're afraid to give you a razor. Very annoying) but it's for your own good. Have courage and understanding for them and hopefully they'll do the same for you. Best of wishes :)