gormball2
February 2nd, 2013, 08:44 AM
Okay, I am new to this place, hope I do not offend anyone while I tell this long story. I am 19, and I am male.
There is this girl, whom I am friends with for the past one and a half years, that I am interested in. Initially, when it was just as friends, she kept texting me, and I responded, and she was always asking for advice, or confiding in me. This went on for 1 and a half years without any problems platonically.
So last December, after she finished her high school examinations, we started texting even more. At that point in time I started developing feelings for her, cos' we are so similar in personalities and had so much to talk about. We started flirting a little over text, and she responded postively to my texts. In fact, once I asked her in the face if I was important to her and she even replied that she cannot deny that I am important to her, but she is too shy to tell me yes...which I assumed as a yes.
Somewhere last month in January, early Jan, we were talking and she asked me if we were just friends or something more. I decided that I did not want to hide it, but I said I have some feelings for her but I myself at the point didn't want to rush it, and I told her that. She agreed that we could continue being friends and take things slowly. All was fine.
A few days after that, she posted something real emo on facebook, and I called to ask her why. She then replied me with a pissed off tone, saying that "She is fine" I got quite hurt and a little angry and told her so, cos I was merely concerned. The day after this incident, she posted some stuff about hanging out with her friends on fb and it turns out I overreeacted to her fb. She texted me saying she is not used to me caring so much about her, and she wanted things to go back to the way they were, just as good friends. I asked her in the face, if she was writing me off and not giving me a chance to explore relationships, but she said "No, but I want things to go back to the way they were (during the one and a half years of friendship)". I was kinda afraid I pissed her off, so I called her to make it clear that I too want to take it slowly (I really dont want to rush).
After that day, she went for an overseas trip and forgetting to bring her phone, we could only communciate via Facebook. That was where the problem began. She told me that she was in "cold shoulder mode" and wouldn't reply, so I thought I will give her some space. But after she came back, she has been inresponsive to my texts, or fb msgs, claiming that she is too busy to even talk and that she is still in "cold shouldering mode". But yet, she seems to be perfectly normal to other people and the cold shoulder is at me. She has not initiated any conversation yet, although we probably will meet again as she says she bought me something from her trip.
Up till today, she has not talked to me. (it has been about 3 weeks since she returned) I feel that she is distancing myself away from me on purpose and simply because I showed feelings and care for her. I also dont want to lose her as a close friend even if the relationship fails, and she indicated she wants that too, but she seems to be not living up to it by being so distant from me. I have texted her a lil', but having received short responses I feel really tired of doing so.
Really depressed now, seeing she was a really close friend before this, and now an important part of my life is missing. I don't know if I still stand a chance, or if I should give up. I have talked to many people about this, and they suggest I wait it out since she might want some space to think about it. My heart tells me to wait for her, since she is a really nice girl, but my brain tells me that there is little chance (sometimes I overthink) and I should give up. So I am suffering from a mental dilemma now...
The question now is, should I give up, or persevere and continue? If I should continue, how long should I wait for, and how do I deal with this nerve-wrecking feeling of being ignored (it really hurts). Do people here think I actually have a chance with her? Or is there no chance? And if she didn't like me why did she even flirt back in the first place when I dropped hints last December?
Sorry for the long post but I am really confused now. And hurt. Please help me.
There is this girl, whom I am friends with for the past one and a half years, that I am interested in. Initially, when it was just as friends, she kept texting me, and I responded, and she was always asking for advice, or confiding in me. This went on for 1 and a half years without any problems platonically.
So last December, after she finished her high school examinations, we started texting even more. At that point in time I started developing feelings for her, cos' we are so similar in personalities and had so much to talk about. We started flirting a little over text, and she responded postively to my texts. In fact, once I asked her in the face if I was important to her and she even replied that she cannot deny that I am important to her, but she is too shy to tell me yes...which I assumed as a yes.
Somewhere last month in January, early Jan, we were talking and she asked me if we were just friends or something more. I decided that I did not want to hide it, but I said I have some feelings for her but I myself at the point didn't want to rush it, and I told her that. She agreed that we could continue being friends and take things slowly. All was fine.
A few days after that, she posted something real emo on facebook, and I called to ask her why. She then replied me with a pissed off tone, saying that "She is fine" I got quite hurt and a little angry and told her so, cos I was merely concerned. The day after this incident, she posted some stuff about hanging out with her friends on fb and it turns out I overreeacted to her fb. She texted me saying she is not used to me caring so much about her, and she wanted things to go back to the way they were, just as good friends. I asked her in the face, if she was writing me off and not giving me a chance to explore relationships, but she said "No, but I want things to go back to the way they were (during the one and a half years of friendship)". I was kinda afraid I pissed her off, so I called her to make it clear that I too want to take it slowly (I really dont want to rush).
After that day, she went for an overseas trip and forgetting to bring her phone, we could only communciate via Facebook. That was where the problem began. She told me that she was in "cold shoulder mode" and wouldn't reply, so I thought I will give her some space. But after she came back, she has been inresponsive to my texts, or fb msgs, claiming that she is too busy to even talk and that she is still in "cold shouldering mode". But yet, she seems to be perfectly normal to other people and the cold shoulder is at me. She has not initiated any conversation yet, although we probably will meet again as she says she bought me something from her trip.
Up till today, she has not talked to me. (it has been about 3 weeks since she returned) I feel that she is distancing myself away from me on purpose and simply because I showed feelings and care for her. I also dont want to lose her as a close friend even if the relationship fails, and she indicated she wants that too, but she seems to be not living up to it by being so distant from me. I have texted her a lil', but having received short responses I feel really tired of doing so.
Really depressed now, seeing she was a really close friend before this, and now an important part of my life is missing. I don't know if I still stand a chance, or if I should give up. I have talked to many people about this, and they suggest I wait it out since she might want some space to think about it. My heart tells me to wait for her, since she is a really nice girl, but my brain tells me that there is little chance (sometimes I overthink) and I should give up. So I am suffering from a mental dilemma now...
The question now is, should I give up, or persevere and continue? If I should continue, how long should I wait for, and how do I deal with this nerve-wrecking feeling of being ignored (it really hurts). Do people here think I actually have a chance with her? Or is there no chance? And if she didn't like me why did she even flirt back in the first place when I dropped hints last December?
Sorry for the long post but I am really confused now. And hurt. Please help me.