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HunterSteele
February 2nd, 2013, 01:05 AM
I’ve been meaning to post this for a while but kept putting it off because I didn’t want to jinx things. Now that we’re halfway through the school year it’s time to ask for you guys’ help. I wanted to post it a few weeks ago, but it took a while for me to write all this up.

There’s a kid in my photo class I started talking to early in the school year. We’ll call him Chase. Our first assignment in the class this year was pinhole cameras (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinhole_camera). It’s a coffee can painted black inside with a tiny pinhole poked the bottom and a piece of photo taped inside the lid. You take it outside, uncover the hole, and a picture will end up on the photo paper. I’ve had experience with film and working in the darkroom before, so during our first assignment our teacher asked me to go out with groups of students to make sure they were doing it correctly. I went out with Chase and his friend Erik and that’s when we talked for the first time. They weren’t too receptive to me at first, but they got used to me. We did this a few times and things went pretty well. Here’s what the can looked like (there are more photos attached):

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=5168&stc=1&d=1359785413

The pinhole camera assignment concluded around the beginning of November. Everyone’d gathered enough photos to hand in and created positives. Over time, from using the coffee can cameras outside and developing photos in the darkroom, Chase and I started talking more. (It was around this time I updated the phrase in my signature to say “I've been making more progress.”) Now, we talk every class about all sorts of stuff and we’re friends. I’m really excited and impressed with myself for getting this far, but now I have a problem:

We talk a lot, but never outside of class. I want to ask Chase to hang out sometime, but I’m not sure if we’re that far along. He already has his own friends. The reason I have my doubts is Chase and Erik have been friends longer and I haven’t even seem them together outside of this class. When we started the 35mm film assignment, Chase wouldn’t let me join his group with Erik. He only let me join after he wanted to borrow my copy of GTA IV and I refused to lend it to him unless he let me join.

On two occasions they went to the mall across the road from our school and bought food without asking me if I wanted to come, even though after the first time I asked them to take me with them next time. Some days when I look at how different he is and it feels like I’m crazy for even thinking for a moment we could ever be friends. Yet Chase is still nice to me, so it’s a battle between what my instinct and experience says and what I’m actually observing in reality.

There are only four months left in the school year. Chase is in grade 9 and I’m in grade 11. If I don’t get to the point where we’re talking outside of Photo class by then, we probably won’t have any classes together next year. Every time I see Chase I want to enjoy being around him and talking to him, but I can’t stop thinking about how if I don’t make my move in time this might only last for about 4 more months. We’re having a 2+ week spring break this year and there’s an additional long weekend because of Family Day ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Day_%28Canada%29) (which my province just started observing this year ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Day_%28Canada%29#British_Columbia)) so there are only a handful of classes I have left to talk to Chase before it’s game over.

Any ideas for what I can do? Failure is not an option. This is the closest I’ve ever gotten to finding a close friend and I might not make if after all. If I don’t, I’ll never get another chance with Chase and this’ll all have been in vain. Every time I think about that possibility, the dreadful feeling I get is unbearable. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t pull this off. It’s all I’ve been able to think about lately.

Axw_JD
February 3rd, 2013, 12:13 AM
I would say go for it and ask... on one hand, the worst he can say is no, and on the other if you don't, you will end up hating yourself, thinking "what if"

LouBerry
February 3rd, 2013, 01:45 AM
Just tell the boy how you feel.

Lost in the Echo
February 3rd, 2013, 01:55 AM
As the others have said, just go for it, and tell him how you feel.

It seems to him, you're just an acquaintance, so you need to let him know, how you feel about him.

HunterSteele
February 3rd, 2013, 03:07 AM
Thank you for the replies everyone. I'll offer to buy him lunch sometime since he never seems to have a lunch for one reason or another. Should be easy since the blocks just rotated and Photo class is right before lunch. Then if that works we can go from there.

I would say go for it and ask... on one hand, the worst he can say is no, and on the other if you don't, you will end up hating yourself, thinking "what if"
I agree.

Steve Jobs
February 3rd, 2013, 06:55 PM
Good luck! I've definitely been in your position before and know what it feels like. I don't think I'm worthy of giving advice but you have my encouragement :)

HunterSteele
February 7th, 2013, 07:15 PM
Chase wasn't at school for both classes this week. Tomorrow's a Pro-D Day (http://www.bctf.ca/publications/NewsmagArticle.aspx?id=12792) so there's no school and it's Family Day on Monday, so I won't see him until Tuesday. This is starting to feel like a conspiracy.:cry:

HunterSteele
February 15th, 2013, 04:07 AM
We're presented our history of photography projects on Tuesday, today, and we'll be finishing them off on Monday, so there aren't many chances to talk to Chase. Starting to have my doubts over if I can pull this off.

Apollo.
February 15th, 2013, 05:16 AM
Dude just walk over in the halls or whatever and say "hey havent seen you in ages" or if you haven't seen him in ages jokingly ask if hes been missing you in class, try and not make a huge deal of it these things usually come naturally. That or do you have his number? If you do then text him asking if he wants to come out with you at some point or if not go over to him and ask him for it so you guys can talk during the break

HunterSteele
February 16th, 2013, 01:10 AM
try and not make a huge deal of it these things usually come naturally.
Not for me they don't.

I have his number, but I never text people and I don't know what to say. I always mean to text people when I'm lonely, but I never do because of that.

If I do anything, it'll probably be closer to the end of the year so that if he says no I don't need to see him every class and be reminded.

Axw_JD
February 17th, 2013, 01:55 PM
why don't you try asking him to hangout this or next weekend? That way if he says yes you still have time to hang out more than once.

HunterSteele
April 13th, 2013, 03:52 AM
No dice on this one. Here's what happened:

Our school is across the street from a shopping center. Our photo teacher doesn't pay careful attention to who leaves the classroom, so earlier in the year Chase and his friend snuck out during the class and went to the shopping center across the street to buy candy and snacks. When they got back, I asked Chase why he didn't ask me to come along and he said he didn't know I wanted to come. Fair enough, I said. Ask me next time.

Next time came along January 15, and I didn't realize it until after Chase returned and started giving Skittles to everyone but me. I asked Chase why they didn't invite me and he told me they forgot. I didn't understand how he could have forgotten since he and his friend had to walk right past me on their way out the door. They actually took pictures, and Chase's friend brought his laptop to show everyone the pictures they had taken of all the food and candy they bought. I made it very clear that he should let me know the next time they were going.

At the end of February they went again, and sure enough they didn't invite me. By the time they got back, Chase didn't even have an excuse for why he didn't ask me to come. That was good, because I was wasn't interested in hearing it.

I was pretty upset that Chase had lied to me so many times. I realized Chase only thinks of me as an acquaintance and not as a real friend. I wish he'd just told me though so I hadn't gone to so much effort.

HunterSteele
May 12th, 2013, 10:22 PM
Looks like I overreacted earlier on. I didn't talk to Chase all of March because I was upset with him for going to the mall without me, and I felt pretty bad about it. Photo class was no fun without him. So in April I tried being nice to him again and it went pretty well.

I really think I have a chance here. I called Chase last Thursday and we talked for a bit. His birthday was on Friday and I gave him a present (a video game) and he really liked it. The hardest part is where to go from here.

I'm pretty confident Chase will want to hang out. But there's a dozen different ways for me to ask him. I think it would be nice to talk to him around the school, but we never do. I hardly ever see him in the hallway, and when I do he's with his friends.

So if I decide to ask him, what's the best thing to say and how? Should I ask him in Photo class, call him, or text him? And then what do I say? I could try talking about the game I gave him and asking if I could come over sometime and watch him play it. Summer's coming around and I could ask him if he wants to go to the PNE (http://PNE.ca) (a fair) or the night market with me.

Please help me guys. I'm so close to doing this. So close.

HunterSteele
May 14th, 2013, 01:34 AM
No one's replying any time soon, are they?