Trying to talk to friends but going blank.

[ReginaGeorge]

I'm friends with this girl, and I'm not sure if I like-like her, or just really friend-like her, that's sort of not relevant but also relevant to this post.

It's just whenever I want to talk to her, my mind goes blank, and I just cannot think of something to say, same with when she's talking to me and there's already a set topic, I just can't think of a response. It's like, I have ideas, but I lose the ability to fetch them out of my brain, or generate new ones. Just totally blank.

I'm pretty socially awkward, and my social skills aren't the greatest but they're good around friends, and I've known her a few months, and I'm relatively comfortable around her. Even when I'm with people I don't know, I can still manage some kind of response, even if it's just agreeing, nodding, or saying "yeah, I get it". Sometimes with her I can't even do that.

The only time I've ever gone blank like this was a couple of years ago when my at-the-time crush tried to talk to me, and it went horribly.

I'm really hoping this goes away over time and I get used to her more (I have two classes with her now, compared to none when I met her). I never had actively one-on-one conversations with her before now, because we only hung out in a group.

Any tips on how to get over this? I know thinking of ideas before I see her and rehearsing them would work for a while, but that doesn't help replying to her topics, and I'd really like to just be able to talk to her normally. :(

[Lost in the Echo]

Yeah, this happens to me sometimes, too.

I think if you find out some interests, that both of you have in common, and talk about those, that could keep the conversation going.
Also, ask her how her day has been. If she says her day has been good, then ask her what's made it good, if she's had a bad day, the ask her what's wrong, and ask if there is anything you could do, to cheer her up.

My social skills aren't really that good either, but i've noticed that once you've known someone for a while, then it's easy to keep a conversation going, because you know a lot about that person ( their interests, hobbies, etc. ) and you also feel comfortable around them, since you've known them for a while, and you're very familiar with them.

So yeah, over time, you and her will develop familiarity amongst each other, and it will be easier to keep a conversation going.
Like I said earlier in this post, it would also help if you found out what this girls' interests are, then you guys would have something to talk about.
Also, something like "how has your day been?' would help the conversation, small talk like that.

That's about all I can think of, to tell you. I hope i've been able, to somewhat help you.:)

[dontfiguremeout]

haha, my mind just blanked out before I was going to say something.

Umm, honestly I think you just need to be more comfortable with her, because I think most guys trip up when they are with a girl they like, and they don't when they are with just a friend. This is just a tiny tiny little advice, and hopefully it helped a tiny bit.

[Gandalf]

I'd try and get to know her better find out what she likes and read up on it, it's something that down the road you'll both feel better for, you'll understand her better and then be able to participate better in a conversation.

The old cliche of knowledge being power really is accurate, and while it doesn't solve your insecurities it will give you a tiny added boost of self confidence knowing you know more about her interests than previously and then you could perhaps figure out why you are socially lacking.


Hoped this helped :)