Can't keep friends.?

[cinderellagirl732]

I don't have many friends, maybe 5, but I have a friend that says we're best friends. I'm a little mad at her right now because she keeps trying to control my eating habits and told me to die today. She said she misspoke. But it still hurt. I've never had a lot of friends. I have trouble keeping them. They all say the same thing. I "push them away". Maybe I do. But I don't know how to trust them. I've been hurt too many times. I don't even know the meaning of the word "trust" anymore. How do I make friends and keep them? How can I learn to trust? Them, and just in general. Any suggestions? Anything helps. Thanks(:

[dontfiguremeout]

Hmmm, well every time you make friends, do you try to make them all really close with you? You need a balance with your friends. Maybe one or two friends you can keep close and share whatever you feel to them, but your other friends should be more of there so you can hang out and be a regular teen again with friends! So I think that's why you aren't so open with friends, because maybe you wanna be close with every friend you have, but it doesn't work because not every friend you have will keep your promise. When looking into close friends, first start off with the friends you hang out, then the more you hang out with them, the more their true colors show, and then you can pick which ones you would want to be close with. I hope this helped you out, and if it didn't, I'm sorry.

[Dunce]

I'm the same really, I've never had a lot of friends but I still seem to switch friends all the time. I know it's harder than it sounds, but just think of the friends who you value the most and decide you want to keep them, and even when they go wrong just forgive them, but that doesn't mean you should forget when they hurt you.
My two best friends have flaws, but I've realized that I never had friends like them and I know there's more to them. One of them doesn't believe that I'm going through an asexual phase, she think's I'm just in the closet. And the other one bailed on something I had planned for months with just the 3 of us, saying it was her sisters birthday but in reality she went out clubbing with people from college, people who she goes out with twice a week anyway. This stuff pisses me off, but I know they both have good intentions and no ones perfect.
You just need a small number of true friends, and the rest should come naturally. Maybe you should talk to someone about your trust issues?

[cinderellagirl732]

Hmmm, well every time you make friends, do you try to make them all really close with you? You need a balance with your friends. Maybe one or two friends you can keep close and share whatever you feel to them, but your other friends should be more of there so you can hang out and be a regular teen again with friends! So I think that's why you aren't so open with friends, because maybe you wanna be close with every friend you have, but it doesn't work because not every friend you have will keep your promise. When looking into close friends, first start off with the friends you hang out, then the more you hang out with them, the more their true colors show, and then you can pick which ones you would want to be close with. I hope this helped you out, and if it didn't, I'm sorry.

I don't try to get close to them because I've lost all of my other friends in the past. I know it's my fault that I have. I always get kind of close with one and they try to "help" me and I flip out and either anger them or ignore them. I'm trying to work on that. I like your advice; it did help. Thank you(:

[cinderellagirl732]

I'm the same really, I've never had a lot of friends but I still seem to switch friends all the time. I know it's harder than it sounds, but just think of the friends who you value the most and decide you want to keep them, and even when they go wrong just forgive them, but that doesn't mean you should forget when they hurt you.
My two best friends have flaws, but I've realized that I never had friends like them and I know there's more to them. One of them doesn't believe that I'm going through an asexual phase, she think's I'm just in the closet. And the other one bailed on something I had planned for months with just the 3 of us, saying it was her sisters birthday but in reality she went out clubbing with people from college, people who she goes out with twice a week anyway. This stuff pisses me off, but I know they both have good intentions and no ones perfect.
You just need a small number of true friends, and the rest should come naturally. Maybe you should talk to someone about your trust issues?

I switch friends a lot, too. I try to forgive them. But sometimes, it's my fault and I embarrass myself too much to talk to them again. Sometimes, I think I'm better off without any friends because then I can't hurt them and they can't hurt me. I'm sorry about your friends. But I'm happy for you for keeping them.(: It takes a lot of strength to forgive people, at least for me, so that's good that you did forgive them. I wouldn't know who to talk to about my "trust issues". I think part of it is, everytime I've tried to get help, with my best friend of 3 or 4 years even, they've left me. They just leave. I don't want that to happen anymore. Thanks for the advice.(: