what do i do:(?

[Fiending_the_freedom]

OK so, where to start.
I'm panicing so much right now.

I slept with my best friends ex boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend. This was the guy that took her virginity. This was the guy that cheated on her but she still forgave him. who contantly was critisinzing her. They broke up every other week. This guy was one of my best guy friends.

After they broke up for good me and her became best friends and she right away started dating someone eles, i got a little drunk and he kissed me out of no where. he tlaked me into havign sex with him because it was "just fun, were two close firends." that was his way of getting over her>.>.

I regreted it right away. I was just getting over the first boyfriend i ever had and i would have slept with ANYONE that night. (i know she'll never understand)

I told him i'd only do it if he didnt tell mike or laila (our ex's) and he said ok,
it's not like i thought they'd acually get back together.
but they did. and i got back together with mike. and then mike and me ended and so did laila and brandon and me and we stopped hanging out with brandon.she started talking bad about him for the way he treated her.

i started dating a guy i'm with and love. and laila starts dating his friend.

Then he told his brother that he slept with me.
His brother tells my boyfriend.

My boyfriend confrots me infront of laila.
i instantly deny it.
end of story.

My boyfriend starts threating brandon.
keeps bringing it up.
i'm TERRIFYED that laila or even worse my boyfriend will find out.

Like i know any honest person would come clean or at least admit when they're caught but,

i really dont think i can handle this.
the last time me and my boyfriend got into a fight,
i had 2 panic attacks.

and laila would NEVER understand and hate me.

and i wouold have to explain to my boyfriend of my sexual abuse in the past and i really really really dont want him to know.

i dont know what ot do.
i jsut really dont want them to know.
It was a horrible mistake and i regret it so much.

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

I would suggest you come clean. The deeper you get, the worse It'll get. Get out now before it becomes too serious!

[byee]

I suppose you've learned alot from this experience! Hopefully, you won't be in this situation again. When you act impulsively, it rarely turns out ok. That's all the finger wagging I'll do, as this isn't such a major crime.

OK. Here's the deal. Although you acted in a way that you now regret, what you did was 'foolish' in that it complicated many relationships. You didnt actually 'cheat' on anyone, you were all unattached at the time. There's no betrayal here, just a bit of bad judgement. Everyone is overreacting, or, perhaps, more precisely, taking this all too personally.

So, I'd think it would be foolish to actualy admit anything here, there's no point to it, it will only aggravate people. Unnecessarily, because, again, you were all available, you didn't 'cheat' here. All the guys are just jealous. Let them deal with it.

People are entitled to privacy, and they're entitled to keep their past activities private. That's not lying, it's descretion. Tell them all you're not discussing something that doesn't concern them.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

i would tell them that, i mean what your sayiing does make complet sense, except with laila it was her ex boyfriend, and they started going back out after that for a bit, so if i ever said 'it doesnt concern you' she can say it does.

[byee]

But, she wasn't going out with him 'Then', right? Then it really doesn't concern her. She's just jealous and insecure, telling her will not make anything better. How can it? 'Yeah, i slept with him'. No way. There's nothing for her to gain by having this bit of info, you're really not helping her by answering the question.

I wouldn't say to her 'this doesn't concern you', as it's kinda rude and in your face (although it's true). But, you're not an object here, you are entitled to keep things private. It's a delicate situation, but I'd say something like 'Laila, I'm really glad you and he are going out again, and there's nothing I'd do now to interfere with that. He's not my type, anyway'. If she pushes it, I'd say something like, 'C'mon, Laila! You can think what you like, but what I just said stands: I'm not going to interfere with you and him, I'm not like that, let's leave this alone!'

You're entitled to privacy, even if you have regrets over your actions, and she needs to accept that.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

no now she has a different boyfriend, ifact she hates brandon, and i'm not considering telling her but if she finds out i dont know what to say.

[byee]

If she's not seeing Brandon, then it's even easier! It's not as complicated, b/c she isn't even involved with him, therefore it's really juicy gossip for her. If she 'finds out', you'd continue to set that limit with her that you're not talking about what may or may not have happened that she can believe what she wants. It's really easier than you're thinking it will be, it gets hard when you attempt to respond in any way other than the way I'm suggesting.