nervous and petrified

[dvd333]

Basically, im in a committed relationship and im kind of scared to lose my virginity. I want to have sex, but then i dont at the same time. Im so confused over this. Ive gotten so close but then i feel guilt and shame. My girlfriend feels the same way. What should i do and what are your thoughts about this?

[tundravortex]

well before you do anything if you to feel like your not ready then dont do it or if you two do agree to do it than go out and by some condoms,dont woryy theres no age limit either

[PinkFloyd]

Talk to your girlfriend. Ask her what she she is nervous about and then share what you're nervous about. I mean sex can be a disaster if both people aren't ready for it. There are soooo many emotional side-effects that come with it that test your strength as a human being. I know that sounds dark but it's true. When Me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time, we were up the rest of the next day sobbing and cuddling together. Not the good cuddling either. That was the one time that we really saw into each other and didn't pay any attention to any other fact like us being.... I'm not trying to scare you away from sex Im just informing you on how emotionally damaging it can be if both partners aren't 100% ready.

[dvd333]

That is what terrifies me. We have waited for over a year but i guess we still need to grow together for a bit longer. I appreciate the honesty and support.

[LolaHaze]

That is what terrifies me. We have waited for over a year but i guess we still need to grow together for a bit longer. I appreciate the honesty and support.

I guess I have to ask what the guilt and shame comes from, and just what, specifically, is making you nervous... If you're not pressuring one another, and you're committed, and you love one another, I'm trying to figure out what the problem is.

:confused:

[dvd333]

Guilt and shame of throwing our childhoods away and fear of ruining something special. The problem is that we both feel terrible. We tried this passed weekend but couldnt go through with it. Its a fear that also saddens me... i just want to know how to look at this, what could possibly be wrong, and to even consider if this is just normal to feel...

[Chris95]

Clearly if you feel nervous and petrified then you're not ready to do it, so doing so would be a mistake.

[nick]

Wait until you both feel the time is right. It's not something to do just to keep up with boastful friends who may well be lieing or exaggerating. There's all the time in the world.

[jean.auburn]

As I'm sure its been mentioned before in the answers (for i havent read them all), losing your virginity is a big thing, and therefore should not be treated lightly. You can only lose it once so be careful its with the right person, and most importantly the right MOMENT. There is absolutely no rush. If you girlfriend really loves you and you really love your girlfriend, you both can wait for the other to be ready, however long that may be.

[tbonehntr]

dont do anything that you would regret. remember you have to live tomorrow with the decisions that you make today

[Green Arrow]

If you feel like you're not ready then don't do it. I'm sure if your girl friend loves you she won't mind. Don't rush into things and then regret it later on, your first time is meant to be something special, hence why I'm still a virgin. Anyway you can have a lot of fun without having sex. ;)

[Lil Red]

Talk about it and wait until you're bothe ready!

[anyone50]

It sounds like your not ready if you have any reservations. My advise is to wait till it feels right.

[Wowwhy]

Just go with your heart. It does however sound like you should wait and talk it out before doing it.