View Full Version : How can i tell my mom i cut ?!?
Wick3dCut3
January 27th, 2013, 09:39 PM
i really wanna tell my mom that i cut... but i dont know how, im scared of what her reaction will be. i dont know how to tell her...
Lyra Heartstrings
January 27th, 2013, 09:43 PM
You just have to tell her. It will overtake your life, depending how far along you are. It really is best to just..say it.
tundravortex
January 27th, 2013, 09:43 PM
well the best way i can tell you is say you fell if there not in a straight line,than if they are in a line(going up your are one by one)than you have no other choice but to admidit because holding it in will eat you alive and make you go crazy
Desuetude
January 27th, 2013, 09:52 PM
There are lots of ways you could go about telling her. Talk in person or leave her a note, even email, if you have it then someone talking on your behalf like a counselor that you've been seeing might also be a route to think about. I'd suggest printing out some information about self harm and going through it with her. Most people are ignorant and don't know anything about it, they believe people do it for attention when for most that really isn't the case. Explain how you feel and the events that lead to you starting. You can maybe suggest ways that she can help you. You won't know how she's going to react but parents only want the best for you and it's likely she's going to support you even if she doesn't understand. Good luck, I hope you go through with telling her, it could be the motivation you need to stop.
Mynick
January 28th, 2013, 04:35 PM
When i screw something up, i create a Word file in her computer :P
However my mom found that i self-harm before i had the chance to tell her. Anyways to the point, leave a note or something like that. Or if you feel comfortable, talk with her when she's calm and relaxed.
Syvelocin
January 28th, 2013, 05:40 PM
Oh yeah, please do it before they find out. My parents unfortunately found out the night I started. I didn't even make it obvious, too. After they stopped bleeding, I put on arm warmers (which I wear quite often) over both arms and began watching TV. My dad only said goodnight, and somehow he knew and the next day he called my mum who was away visiting family. Wound up in therapy again and the hospital five months later.
I wouldn't just spit it out though. I'd use the opportunity to explain it first instead of saying you cut yourself. But just ask her if you can talk to her, on her own time. Say you have something to tell her, and whenever she has a couple moments speak to her one-on-one. I would start along the lines of "I've been really unhappy/anxious/depressed lately. And I feel like it's getting worse, like it's too strong and I feel like I can't get all my emotions out. I started doing something, because I needed a way to express those emotions, to cope with them. And now I can't stop. It isn't your fault, but I'm telling you so you can help me get through it because I can't do this on my own, and I trust you and love you."
Try sending her way some informative websites about self-harm, or get a therapist or friend who understands it to clear misconceptions. A big issue my mum had was thinking the cutting was related to suicide, when in fact it was my method of avoiding suicide. Also, it became an issue that a psychologist wanted to SI-proof the house and I had to get my mum to understand going cold-turkey wouldn't help as it's an addiction, but unlike drug addictions, a person can hurt themselves no matter what you take away from them, but it doesn't necessarily have to be safer and hygienic for someone desperate enough to use.
Wick3dCut3
February 1st, 2013, 06:28 PM
So i told my mom... but shes ignoring the fact that i "self-harm"... shes acting like nothing happened.
dontfiguremeout
February 1st, 2013, 07:05 PM
I'm pretty sure your mom will be disappointed you do, but so thankful that you told her because now she will be full watch on you so you don't do it again, and also she will do whatever it takes to get you fully better! You should always trust in your parents knowing they will do whatever they need to do to make their child 100% better in any way possible.
georgiamay
February 2nd, 2013, 05:21 PM
So i told my mom... but shes ignoring the fact that i "self-harm"... shes acting like nothing happened.
A lot of parents act this way, they sort of go into denial about the whole issue.
I'd suggest sitting her down and telling her that you really need her support. Try not to focus too much on the self harm, but more on the reasons for it and the fact that you're strugging to cope, and you really want some help from her. Maybe start with, "You remember when I told you about the self harm? Well, I'm really struggling, and I don't know how to cope with everything, and I could really use your help and support." If there are particular reasons for it, maybe something in your life that triggers you and you're really unhappy about whatever it is, tell her about it. Even if it's purely mental and you can't think of something in your life that's causing it, tell her that as well. Tell her about the feelings that lead to the self harm and say that you don't know how else to cope, and this is the only way that you know works.
You could always ask her how she feels about it. The chances are she's struggling to deal with the fact that her child is doing this, so she might want to talk about it. Maybe she feels too uncomfortable to address it because she doesn't really understand or know how to deal with it, so you bringing it up and saying "mum, you never really told me how you felt about what I told you," will show her that it's okay to talk about it, and that you're okay with talking about it.
You could also direct her to some websites for parents of kids who self harm, so she has some information and advice. That should help her understand it more and she might feel more comfortable about the situation. You could look into ways of getting help, like councelling services and tell her that you're thinking of getting in touch with them and ask her what she thinks of that. Or make a doctors appointment and ask her if she's okay with going or not going, depending on what you're more comfortable with. It's a conversation starter that she can't ignore, and once you've engaged her you can have a proper conversation about it, and she'll address the situation properly.
The only way you can get her to respond to this is by talking to her. You just told her that her child is so unhappy that they're cutting themselves, you need to understand that this is something that people find hard to deal with as well. The more you explain to her, the easier it'll be for her to support you.
unusedaccount
February 2nd, 2013, 06:29 PM
Take control. If you tell her, if she loves you, she'll get you the help you deserve and need to reclaim your life. ;)
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