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January 24th, 2013, 10:06 PM
In short, I hate my life. I've felt depressed for quite a while. Let me explain why.
As you may know, I'm a closeted bisexual.It's not easy to deal with, especially with the pressure of "coming out". I especially feel this way because there's this guy I like. We aren't the closest of friends, but I thought I could trust him. I tried talking to him, warming him up for it. Finally, I told him that I was bi. At the moment, I assumed he was taking it well. But, when I finally saw him in person, he just ignored me. I was so angry and so upset. I thought we were good enough friends as to where it could work out, but no. And what's worse, he likes someone already. It really makes me upset because I really like him, and he not liking me back makes me feel alone.
Not like feeling alone is anything new to me. I constantly feel as though nobody cares about me or my feelings. I just wish for some moment that I was important to someone. But, i'm not. I'm just a waste of space.
My mood has taken a toll for the worse lately. My crush doesn't even acknowledge me. I have close to no friends. My grades in school are lackluster, and don't meet the expectations I used to set. I have lost all trust in the people I know. I have no social life, and can't leave the house. I cry to myself everytime I look in the mirror because I hate how I look. I don't fit in very well and am labelled amongst the nerds. Nobody has ever shown care and concern for me. I've cut myself before and said it was my cat. I've had suicidal thoughts in the past few weeks. I'm losing all hope and care for myself. People constantly take advantage of me and my kindness. I have trust issues. I have problems talking about my feelings. I have little to no confidence. I'm socially awkward, and feel like a loner and an outcast. I can't stand my friends. I can't sleep at night. I think I'm too fat, too skinny, and too ugly. I've never been in a relationship. I've never really loved anyone.
Can anyone offer any words of advice and encouragement? I'm afraid I'm giving up on myself.
As you may know, I'm a closeted bisexual.It's not easy to deal with, especially with the pressure of "coming out". I especially feel this way because there's this guy I like. We aren't the closest of friends, but I thought I could trust him. I tried talking to him, warming him up for it. Finally, I told him that I was bi. At the moment, I assumed he was taking it well. But, when I finally saw him in person, he just ignored me. I was so angry and so upset. I thought we were good enough friends as to where it could work out, but no. And what's worse, he likes someone already. It really makes me upset because I really like him, and he not liking me back makes me feel alone.
Not like feeling alone is anything new to me. I constantly feel as though nobody cares about me or my feelings. I just wish for some moment that I was important to someone. But, i'm not. I'm just a waste of space.
My mood has taken a toll for the worse lately. My crush doesn't even acknowledge me. I have close to no friends. My grades in school are lackluster, and don't meet the expectations I used to set. I have lost all trust in the people I know. I have no social life, and can't leave the house. I cry to myself everytime I look in the mirror because I hate how I look. I don't fit in very well and am labelled amongst the nerds. Nobody has ever shown care and concern for me. I've cut myself before and said it was my cat. I've had suicidal thoughts in the past few weeks. I'm losing all hope and care for myself. People constantly take advantage of me and my kindness. I have trust issues. I have problems talking about my feelings. I have little to no confidence. I'm socially awkward, and feel like a loner and an outcast. I can't stand my friends. I can't sleep at night. I think I'm too fat, too skinny, and too ugly. I've never been in a relationship. I've never really loved anyone.
Can anyone offer any words of advice and encouragement? I'm afraid I'm giving up on myself.