how can I help my mom cope???

[ackmedsgirl666]

my mom suffers from depression and severe anxiety.. and shes raising my 10 year old sister.... as a single mother and she doesnt even recieve child support..... anyways basically my sister walks all over my mom
she gets whatever she wants... my mom lets her skip school when she fakes being sick.. my sister gets no discipline what so ever... she doesnt even get grounded.... she walks around swearing and talking like shes a teenager..... she swears at me.. my boyfriend and my mom... and throws temper tantrums which is how she gets everything she wants... my mom is on pills and has has her pill dosages upped because of my sister..... like honestly this is rediculous
my sister has fasd(fedal alcohol spectrum disorder) like i do except she has the partial disease not the full effects like me..

anyways me and my boyfriend have been trying to help my mom be able to handle my sister.... but to no avail its not working... and i know that my sisters school will eventually call childrens aid and have them investigate due to my sisters numerous absenses from school... she stays up as late as she wants.... doesnt do her homework or chores... its nuts... and tot top it off i am leaving soon and wont be here to help her anymore... ill be in another city living my life with my boyfriend.....

what do i do? i need some help.... i dont want my mom ending up in a loony bin.. but if my sister keeps it up thats where she will be.... :'(
i am so worried :'(

[Gandalf]

This is a hard one to answer, because parenting is something the majority of users here will probably not have experienced. Although caring for a sibling is slightly different.

All I can say is, to answer the title question; If you could somehow just make sure that day to day things do continue to get done, and chip in a little bit more in terms of helping your mum feel better it will take a strain off.

Just be weary that she doesn't become unnecessarily dependent on you instead of seeking means to resolve the issues, she is still the parent and the responsible person.

In terms of your sister I really wish I had practical advice for you is there perhaps a family member you could speak to, not just necessarily regarding your sister but about the situation in general, asking for a little help isn't admitting defeat, it shows you are strong in trying to change things.

Hope I've helped, and as usual we are all here to help :)

[ackmedsgirl666]

This is a hard one to answer, because parenting is something the majority of users here will probably not have experienced. Although caring for a sibling is slightly different.

All I can say is, to answer the title question; If you could somehow just make sure that day to day things do continue to get done, and chip in a little bit more in terms of helping your mum feel better it will take a strain off.

Just be weary that she doesn't become unnecessarily dependent on you instead of seeking means to resolve the issues, she is still the parent and the responsible person.

In terms of your sister I really wish I had practical advice for you is there perhaps a family member you could speak to, not just necessarily regarding your sister but about the situation in general, asking for a little help isn't admitting defeat, it shows you are strong in trying to change things.

Hope I've helped, and as usual we are all here to help :)


thanks man.. well most of my family have also given up
my moms boyfriend doesn give a shit.. and the relationship with him and my mom have fallen apart... my aunt and my nanny well they have their own health concerns to worry about so sadly.... theres nothing they can do... i wana try and somehow help... idk if caling childrens aid would help at all.. right now i feel thats the only thing that would wake my sister up and give her a hard dose of reality. as hard as it would be for my mom... and if its not me who calls it will be her school....

[Gandalf]

thanks man.. well most of my family have also given up
my moms boyfriend doesn give a shit.. and the relationship with him and my mom have fallen apart... my aunt and my nanny well they have their own health concerns to worry about so sadly.... theres nothing they can do... i wana try and somehow help... idk if caling childrens aid would help at all.. right now i feel thats the only thing that would wake my sister up and give her a hard dose of reality. as hard as it would be for my mom... and if its not me who calls it will be her school....

I know your aunt and grandma may have health problems but they probably will still be willing to at least listen to you and perhaps give you some advice, if you were speak to them just make it clear that you know they have there own problems, and would do anything you could to help them (whether you need to or not is another matter) if they needed it.

[ackmedsgirl666]

Ok thank you :)
Ill see what I can do

[FreeFall]

Don't be so hard on your sister. She's 10. She's a child, acting like a spoiled child. She needs a mother that can be there and guide her.
You can chip in yes, but your mom needs to step up. She's suffering I know, it's hard, she can't do very much, but she's a mother and she needs to act like it.
Beside lending a hand here and there and setting an example of what you can for your sister, there isn't too much.
Gandalf gave very good advice though : D