If there's a God in Heaven He won't let this be a relapse

[Hopeless Wanderer]

All I can think about now is causing harm to myself.

Just cut. In the stupidest fucking place imaginable and like now it's long sleeves for another fucking two months while they fade enough. Then I'll tan in summer and they'll get really obvious. Why don't I do it there anymore?

I wanna OD again. I do that and I can't tell anyone. Last time I told someone, the only reason they didn't section me was because my stepfather brought me home and thought they were overreacting as much as I did.

I'm so close to doing it. Not enough to kill myself. Just enough to make tomorrow really tough.

The only person I can talk to lives far too far away.

I'm sick of looking out for other people and not being able to talk about myself.

Can someone just leave some kind words, I really need a friend.

Thanks, you're beautiful.

[CharlieHorse]

Chloé dear, I'm very sorry to hear the you're going through this.
I know it sounds really cliche, but is there a school counselor or a therapist that you can talk to?
Also, I'd be easier to help if you tell us a little more about yourself and your situation. When did this all start?
..
I see that you're new here. Welcome :)
We're all here to help :) you'll soon find yourself making friends too!
:hugs:

[Texas warrior]

Being a teen sucks for all of us, so if you ever need any one to talk to I am here.

[jayyy-lmao]

Sometimes god does bad things to emphasise the good times.

[Hopeless Wanderer]

Can I just say thank-you, and that you are all wonderful, selfless, beautiful, kind-hearted people.

I guess I just want someone who I can ring, and rant and rant and rant to.

This is gunna seem really random, but I went to see Les Misérables at the cinema on Saturday night. I cried my heart out, it was a touching tale. But then... My own life is me, it affects me every day, it's killing me slowly. Why can't I cry about my life? Why when I want to release emotion, nothing happens? It's going to all build up inside me again and I'm going to end up breaking down or getting properly suicidal.

I'm in so much pain. And I don't know why really.

I miss my dad. I never thought I'd say that and I guess I didn't want to admit it even to myself, but nobody on here knows me in person so I'm going to swallow my pride and admit it.

I don't know if I miss him though. I miss being part of the family, I miss having my surname for a reason, because I was part of the family. But he pushed it too far with his fault-picking and self-esteem-lowering and I turned. I told him where to go, I told him not to speak to me because he really was a *insert vulgar term*. His family, they can't accept that he's an arse, they can't accept that he's basically the sole reason that I'm so screwed up, and it's just like, yes, he's your son, doesn't mean everything he does is excusable though.

Hearing his voice on New Year's Day tore me apart.

I'm hurting so much.

I don't know anything.

I don't know what I know. I just feel like f***ing s*** and I don't want to hurt myself, I'm a week free, why should that go to waste.

I'm sorry this a pointless and shitty ramble.

Every time I feel like I'm getting better I fall flat on my arse again. Why do there have to be obstacles, why can't recovery be a simple, gentle incline?

Why does everything hurt so much?

[Smeagol]

Well, I'm afraid that recovery is never a simple, gentle incline.

Your determination can, and will, help you through this. You're a week free, and you're going to be eight days free tomorrow. Take a pen and draw butterflies all over your skin, whenever you want to do something destructive.

Good luck.

~Maeve

[AuthorX303720]

Listen, losing a parent (not metion anyone) is really tough. My name is Sid, I was named after my grandfather who recently passed away this summer. And I made a promise to him: "To not wear my name with shame, but with proudness. That I have the honor of being named after my decorated grandfather."
Please honey, don't CUT! I beg of you, you are making me worried about you and everyone who cuts. I do not want for you to think that you will get relif from cutting. Try something else like writing, and tearing it up. I have found that a successful way to look back at my thoughts later on and say that I was at a better point in my life. I find cutting painful, and un-productive.

Honey, I would just like to day that you are strong actually coming out here to the forumers to help you. I wouldn't even have the courage like you do

YOU WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS
-sid