ugh... one year and still dont know what to do

[ackmedsgirl666]

so like idk what to do... i wanna go to burlington to see my friend but my boyfriend doesnt think its a good idea if i go because me and this friend always fight and break off our friendship and he doesnt want me getting hurt again.. but i really wanna go and see this friend at the end of the month... i mean its my cheque and all not his...

what can i say to him so i can go.... i know nobody can make up my mind for me but i want him to be able to trust me...
and also if i do go he says he wants me to stay at somebody elses house and not this friends house but i wanna stay at this friends place..

[Lost in the Echo]

Well, I don't think there's much more you can do to convince him.
He's just worried about you, and that's understandable.

Do whatever you think is best though. But, when you say you and your friend always fight, then I don't think it's a good idea to see her. By always do you literally mean you guys fight just about every time you see each other?
If so, then I think it would be a bad idea to go see her.

[ackmedsgirl666]

i know and i really wanna see him.. its been a few months and hes going in for surgury this month and after that hes gonna be really busy.. and well we fight because im obsessive or i say things that deliberately piss him off.. i just wanna see my friend tho...

[FreeFall]

This is the same guy you want to marry sometime this year right? Marriage/living with your partner is really one big agreement and compromise. You can't always get 100% of what you want when living like this and I see he gave you a wonderful 50-50 option that would work for him and you, the relationship.

I see there's an option for you to go, but not stay at his home. That would've been a good compromise. You get to go, and he gets the peace of mind that you're safe and won't be hurt. You should've just said "alright, I stay at the motel/other friend's house" I know you wanna stay at your friend's house, but it's not fair to your boyfriend.

You know he's upset, worried, annoyed, stressed, tense and would very much rather you not go at all.
By essentially sticking your heels in by saying "No, don't care, I wanna stay in his house", it's working against him and sort of pushing his concerns away to the side. It's probably not what you meant to do, but it is what it's doing. Doing that wouldn't be letting him control your life or whatever, it'd be you showing him you're working with him, and him working with you in agreeing.

Maybe you should work on why he doesn't trust you and help him build that back up before you start to try to convince him about anything.
For one, showing him his ideas and concerns are real to you as they are to him, is a good start.