Is it too much..

[ctw4451]

Am I exaggerating when I always think about weird stuff, or look at males, and say it's JUST hormones? Also, if I look at a girl and don't get aroused - say that I'm probably nervous? Any ways to not feeling like I'm exaggerating? Also, I'm still sort of confused - what exactly IS emotional attraction?

By the way, I've decided to stay on VT to help and to be helped. I believe this is the only website that is succeeded with helping teen problems and community!

[Brandon639]

I dont think your exagerating. Hormones do alot to a person. Also Im confused about what emotional attraction is exactly to.

[byee]

Thanks for the vote of confidence! I know you've been asking about this in other threads, let me see if I can say some more. And I'm going to try to be as simple and direct as I can be. Tell me how I did.

'Emotional attraction' refers to who you look to as your primary emotional attachment, who you want to nurture and love you and take care of you. We humans are attracted to others who, based on our history, provide us with all of that, and the resulting sense of emotional security that goes along with it. So, straight folks feel safest and warmest with members of the opposite sex, gay folks feel it with eachother (same gender).

Attraction usually follows attachment. We're attracted to those who make us feel warm and fuzzy (those who take care of us and nurture us), since we feel safest with them meeting our needs, we also look to them to meet our sexual needs.

Ok. During puberty, there's a sexual awakening, caused by those hormones. That causes arousal (as we all know). It's easy to confuse the 'three A's' (attraction, attachment, arousal), and that's what happens alot. Hormones are really powerful, so there's an urgency about them that overwhelms our ability to sometimes (and for alot of people, oftentimes!) think clearly and understand what's going on.

Add a pinch of natural curiosity into this stew, and Viola! You've got people (mostly guys) who get aroused by just about everything and everyone, can't control the thoughts and fantasies, and feel they're gay.

Not necessarily. Most of the sexual urges and fantasies and the like are more arousal, caused by hormones, rather than the other 2 'A's'. And it's the presence of all three that determine your sexuality, majority doesn't rule here.

That's why you can think about guys, get aroused by them, masturbate to them, and not have it mean anything, because oi you don't 'feel' it, if you do not see guys as being safer or more nurturing (caring) then it's most probably not attachment, just arousal.

If this is too erudite, if I've blown this explanation, too, please tell me and I'll try to restate it. You asked a really good question, and deserve a good answer.

[ctw4451]

You see, I think I have Viola! I can jack off to nearly anything. Yet, I'm only emotionally attached to women. I could never feel myself being nurtured or cared for by a man, or myself explaining every detail to a man! So therefore I should call myself straight..?

[byee]

Viola! yes, I'd say that if you can jack to anything you're just a completely normal, hormone crazed teen guy! (ain't it grand?).

et deux Viola!, it you cannot see yourself being nurtured by a guy, if you cannot see your primary source of emotional attachment with a guy, then you're straight.

Remember, arousal does not equal attachment.

Okay?

[Serenity]

Lol just b/c it's been posted 3 times in a row and it's driving me mad- it's voila, not viola. A viola is a stringed instrument lol.

*and now back to your regularly scheduled posting*

[byee]

LOL, I really like you, Val! You are absolutely correct, I've been missssspelling voila! It's the cellist in me, honest.

[ctw4451]

Damn Sam, you've helped so much. Rofl, I gave you a rep thing whatever haha. Thanks, man! Also, thanks to Valerie, Anthony, and anyone else who helped 8)

[ctw4451]

How do I delete a post?

[ctw4451]

Oh, okay, thanks! Also anyone who wants to answer this -

So it doesn't matter if you get aroused to men or women faster -
If you're physically and emotionally attracted to women no matter how fast you get aroused to women, you're straight? Sorry if I'm getting annoying.

[Serenity]

Don't worry, you're not annoying- this is what VT is for!

And yes, being physically and emotionally attracted to members of the opposite sex is pretty much a guarantee that you're straight.

[TheDude]

You see, I think I have Viola! I can jack off to nearly anything. Yet, I'm only emotionally attached to women. I could never feel myself being nurtured or cared for by a man, or myself explaining every detail to a man! So therefore I should call myself straight..?

Yeah I'm totally the same as you and I'm pretty sure I'm straight.

Lol just b/c it's been posted 3 times in a row and it's driving me mad- it's voila, not viola. A viola is a stringed instrument lol.

*and now back to your regularly scheduled posting*

Yeah as soon as I saw this thread it was bugging me too! Hahaha
I didn't actually understand it for a minute, I was like, what have violas got to do with anything? :)

[byee]

Damn Sam, you've helped so much. Rofl, I gave you a rep thing whatever haha. Thanks, man! Also, thanks to Valerie, Anthony, and anyone else who helped 8)


LOL! Your response here means so much more to me than the Rep thingy, thanks so much! I'm glad I could help out and reassure you! *smiles*

Sam