dating a man and a woman

[billiam183]

Alright im a bad person. Im dating this girl, who I had feelings for, but was skeptical in starting a relationship with. Shes great don't get me wrong. But im sure now that I am gay. I think, lol. Anyways things were going fine I guess (but slow). I enjoyed the time I spent with her because I really do care for her. But being a gay male, or at least bi with a much stronger liking for men (like I said, I suppose im not quite sure) im not real sure about it all.

Now; I've met a guy. I started hanging out with him and I quickly fell for him. Hard. Like never before, I love this guy. I've mentioned him before. Our issue is a big age gap. Im turning 17 and he just turned 25. Im passed the worry of right or wrong because I love him and want to be with him. Also in my state it IS legal.

Im at a loss though. He knows about my girlfriend. I have recently debated breaking it off with her but I almost dont want to at the same time. I still love her. I just couldn't likely 'get it up' with her. Shes had boyfriendS, as in more than one, breakup with her for men before and I'd hate to do that to her again. What do I do?

[FreeFall]

Stop hurting yourself hun, you found love and happiness, go to it.

She deserves a man that will give her ALL of him. You're only giving her 20% of your love. She deserves someone who will only love her. You're already up the tree with an older man.
She needs someone who can completely commit themselves to her, be only with her, see only her and love only her.
You're giving her none of that and you're stealing from her the chance to find someone that will. A thief and a liar and a cheater. Yes, cheater. So what if it's happened before? She's fallen off of the horse once, she'll be fine with another bump. Maybe next time, she'll get a wonderful surprise that her boyfriend won't do that to her. But it's hard to do when the current boyfriend's in love with a man no?
No you do not "still love her". You only are worrying about how she will feel towards you. And how you're cheating on her, it is emotionally! The worst kind, having feelings for another while saying I love you to the old significant other, a lie. You'd still be with her 100%, not melting from her like ice, if you still loved her.

Set the poor girl free and quit trying to "spare" her, it solves nothing. It only wastes time and creates more pain. You're hurting yourself and the man you love too you know.

As for you. You found someone, so why not go be with them? They're free, single, you love them and they're exactly what you want right? What's the point in dragging your girlfriend around and you're falling down in mud? Go away from her, go with him and go be happy.

[billiam183]

Your right. But wrong in one thing. I do still love her, very much. She was an extremely close friend before we dated, and I know for a fact after this we will remain good friends. We 'dated' in middle school and broke up. Remained very close and that wont change. Everything else your very blunt and clear. And right.

[FreeFall]

I meant in love. You can love her, don't doubt that. But you are not in love with her.

Good on you that you're doing the right thing (: