Upset ...

[teen.jpg]

Ok, so I have posted this on the forum a couple of times, but it hasn't really been bothering me until now.

So, there is this guy. He's almost perfect in my eyes. Everything he is matches up to my type. He's aggressive, spontaneous, funny, charming, and attractive. I really like him, like alot. But, that's only the beginning.

The real problem is that he's clearly straight. He goes around flirting with girls, and it's almost all he talks about. The worst part of this is that I get really upset, even jealous, when he does it in front of me. He doesn't know, and I wouldn't know how to tell him.

Recently, I tried talking to him more, hoping that us being better friends would "better my chances". So we were texting, and in our exact words;

Him: You're really funny ...
Me: Thanks, at least somebody actually likes me ...
Him: Well, I consider you my best friend, so ...

Sounds like happy ending, right? No. I actually believed him, just for him to basically ignore me, and the only time he would talk to me is when he needed something. I felt like an idiot, like he was using me, and I fell for it.

So, my real question is; what should I do? I really still like him (that he is unaware of) and it really bothers me, especially since I have to see him everyday for nearly 8 hours. Help?

Also, something I forgot to mention is that he gives off alot of these "signals". One of these things is that he likes to tickle me because he knows how ticklish I am. He sometimes grabs/smacks my butt as a dare, and has no problem doing so. He has this way of giving me long moments of eye contact, and awkwardly looks away when I acknowledge it. The way he smiles at me at certain times, it makes me confused.

Btw, thank you for reading my post, as I think it's pretty long, but i'm sure there are people out there who can relate.

[Lost in the Echo]

Well, if he's straight, it will be really difficult to get him to be in a relationship with you, since you're a guy.
If you were to be with him though, you should continue hanging out with him for a while, and see how things go.

After, like a few months of you guys hanging out, if he's still giving you "signals", then tell him how you feel about him.

[FreeFall]

I agree with the previous poster but what's bugging me is that you openly say you know he was using you.

What value is there in that type of relationship for you? The Master and servant sort of relationship?
You get a boyfriend that only comes around when he wants to get off, eat, or have sex? No one, will change like that. Suddenly having a boyfriend does not make him a better person. He will continue to use you unless you confront him or something happens to make him realize he's a douche. And if he keeps using you, he doesn't care about you like you do him.

So unless you just want to remain "friends" (aka be the plaything for him when wants something or be his butler when he needs something) then just keep doing what you're doing. If you want more, listen to previous Poster. if you want nothing to do with him, turn those 8 hours into a game for yourself. See how long you can go without being compelled by your feelings for him before one day, it just stops and you're free.

[Troy35216]

if he's really 'clearly straight' like you say, then you are only going to get hurt if you keep hanging around hoping that he will figure out that you like him and somehow start liking you back. you said he's clearly straight but then said you catch him giving you long looks and acting embarassed when you catch him at it. do you really think he's straight or could he be curious or is that just you hoping so you see something that isn't really there? does he know you like him? if there isn't any chance of anything happening between you then you are only going to be torturing yourself to keep hanging around him *with that as the goal*. If you can hang around him as just his friend it will be better but if you can't it might be a good idea to stay away for a few days. and like an earlier post said if he is just using you and all then take another look at his friendship anyhow. good luck with it. believe me i know how you feel and what you are going thru and i know how much it sucks. and even with all that advice i gave i also know how hard it is to stay away a few days and how hard it is to hang around as just friends and put yoru feelings on hold. I truly wish you luck bro

[unnamed94]

i was writing something else but it became too long. 2 points:
- you know he was using you. why would you still try? move on
- hes 'clearly straight' and you are a guy, so he wont like you in that way. those signals seem normal to me if you are both friends. as the guy above me said, you may be wanting to see signals that dont exist.

hope this helps

[teen.jpg]

Thanks for the replies. I had a good feeling in my mind that in my situation it would never work out. But, I always feel the need to try.

The question is, should I tell him, or try to get over it. I never felt this way about a person before.

[FreeFall]

Why would you tell him? What would the point be? What would you be hoping for in telling him? What benefits would you get realistically from that? Not saying do or don't, just saying think about these points.

[teen.jpg]

Why would you tell him? What would the point be? What would you be hoping for in telling him? What benefits would you get realistically from that? Not saying do or don't, just saying think about these points.


Sorry for late reply ...

Anyway, for some reason I still want to tell him. We still are friends, and I do still have some trust in him. Maybe I just want the closure? Maybe I'm beating a dead horse? I just want to be over it ...

[Dimentio]

Dude i had a friend like this except we was best friends and you can read my blogs/threads about it, We were best friends and we was flirty as anything with each other and out of the both of us you woulda thought HE liked ME, So i plucked up the courage to ask him, He turned me down, I am not saying do not ask him but if you saw the things we did compared to this it was a lot more than this and he was straight so just be careful with what you are getting into especially if you know he is straight, My heart has never truely healed from this, I do not want to see it happen to someone else :(

[FreeFall]

Sorry for late reply ...

Anyway, for some reason I still want to tell him. We still are friends, and I do still have some trust in him. Maybe I just want the closure? Maybe I'm beating a dead horse? I just want to be over it ...
If you want it to be over, professing your feelings will only prolong it. If you can't figure out the reason and if it's a better idea than it is bad, you probably shouldn't.

[Koffing]

If you want it to be over then you should tell him. You won't be in doubt anymore whether he likes you or not...

But you need to know how he thinks about someone being bi/gay first. If he thinks gays are ''bad'', he might tell everyone or bully you (no big chance if he's a real friend, but need to have a backup plan in mind if it happens)

Good luck ;)