Want to cut...

[xarvon1412]

Please help me. Lately my life's been...hard. There have been just about a million things going on, one after the other. My girlfriend of ten months broke up with me a little more than a month ago and refuses to talk to me for God knows why. I'm failing two of my classes and it's the end of the quarter so I'm rushed to fix them, also one of the classes I'm not failing is having a big test at the final day of the quarter so if I fail it (which I'm probably going to) I can't make it up. My friend is talking of suicide after his bad break-up about five months ago. My mother found out about my cutting and so I'm on medication that will actually make me faint every so often just because it's how it reacts with my body. I've told my doctor about my fainting episodes but it's the only medicine that he says will work for me so I have to stay on it. It's just been an overhaul of everything bad that could be happening right now. So I've been cutting...It's just been nice, it takes my mind off of everything else even if just for a second. Although lately things have been looking up. I have a new girlfriend who spends a lot more time with me than the old one, and I feel like this one actually cares about me. I'm now able to pass my two classes that I was previously failing. I haven't cut since I got my new girlfriend (four days ago). My new girlfriend doesn't know about my cutting, my depression, my anorexia, not even my insomnia and I'm trying so hard to keep them at bay just for her, even if she doesn't know about them I know she wouldn't want me cutting or not eating. Although old habits die hard and I find myself falling into relapse...please help me. I've been wanting to cut so bad. I just want to feel that familiar sting of the blade running through my skin, watching the blood drip down as it takes my worries with it (sorry about the graphic image). I know I shouldn't though. I can't talk to anyone else and I need someone to help me. Please, in whatever way you know how, help me.

[Desuetude]

It's great you're trying to stop, it's good having someone else care about you and motivating you to quit - even if they don't know the effect they're having. You need to distract yourself from these thoughts, it's when you're alone with your mind that they're worse. Some effective distractions/alternatives you could try are:

- Write down what you're feeling
- Read a book
- Listen to music
- Be artistic e.g. paint, draw, photography.
- Write a short story/in a diary
- Go for a walk/run or just exercise
- Scribble on/tear up paper
- Surround yourself with people
- Talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling

- Draw on your arm in red pen
- Snap a rubber band on your wrist
- Clap your hands until it hurts (a less harmful idea than cutting)
- Eat chilli or a sour lolly (could provide you with some sort of release, as could a cold shower)

Also have you ever tried the Butterfly project or Paper chain project? Both are ways that may help you refrain from cutting. I suggest you try out a couple of the ideas above, you've just got to find which one is most effective for you. I hope that somewhat helped. If you do need someone to talk to then you can contact me, I'd be happy to listen and try and help as best I can.

[xarvon1412]

It's great you're trying to stop, it's good having someone else care about you and motivating you to quit - even if they don't know the effect they're having. You need to distract yourself from these thoughts, it's when you're alone with your mind that they're worse. Some effective distractions/alternatives you could try are:

- Write down what you're feeling
- Read a book
- Listen to music
- Be artistic e.g. paint, draw, photography.
- Write a short story/in a diary
- Go for a walk/run or just exercise
- Scribble on/tear up paper
- Surround yourself with people
- Talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling

- Draw on your arm in red pen
- Snap a rubber band on your wrist
- Clap your hands until it hurts (a less harmful idea than cutting)
- Eat chilli or a sour lolly (could provide you with some sort of release, as could a cold shower)

Also have you ever tried the Butterfly project or Paper chain project? Both are ways that may help you refrain from cutting. I suggest you try out a couple of the ideas above, you've just got to find which one is most effective for you. I hope that somewhat helped. If you do need someone to talk to then you can contact me, I'd be happy to listen and try and help as best I can.

I know the butterfly method, and I want to try that. What's the paper chain method though? And thanks for your suggestions, I'll try them out.

[Lost in the Echo]

Well, think about it this way: Things in your life are starting to get better, so why mess it up by cutting?

It sounds like you're really stressed because of all the shit going on in your life.
Well, at least quarter one is almost over for you, sure, the assignments may be difficult, but just try your best, and study hard, that's about all you can do.

And be happy you found a girl who loves you, forget about the one that broke up with you. What's in the past is done and over with, you can't change it.

So yeah, just study hard for your assignments and tests, do your best, and there's a good chance you'll pass.
I think after quarter 1 is over, your stress level will significantly decrease, because you'll be done worrying about it.
And as time goes by, you'll think less about your ex-girlfriend.

Things will start to get better, it looks like you're trending in the right direction.
Just focus on the positive things going on in your life, forget about all the negative.

As time goes on, your life will begin to improve. :)

[Desuetude]

I know the butterfly method, and I want to try that. What's the paper chain method though? And thanks for your suggestions, I'll try them out.
1. Every day you go without self harming of any sort, add a coloured strip of paper to add to the chain. (or to start it!)

2. If ever you do relapse, then you add a white strip. This way, you are not taking away an things, and you are not wrecking how far you've already come.

3. Whenever you do feel like relapsing, look at the chain and think how far you've come.

4. Over time, the chain will grow in length. You will, as you get further in recovery, start to see a decrease in white strips, and more colourful strips.

Basically it's a motivation technique but it might be worth trying it. Seeing the chain up showing you how far you've come is likely to bring you back down to earth and hopefully make you think about the point of self harming. That's the idea anyway.