Spook
January 11th, 2013, 01:26 PM
So. As people, we associate the word "care" as tender, loving, or protection of someone/something. e.g. "She is very caring." We associate a similar feeling with love, in that a person cares about another person; or has strong feelings for them.
Now think about the word hate.
The first thing that probably came to your mind was anger, or a strong dislike of someone/something. In this sense, you care.
Truly, Love and Hate fall into the same category, even when we say they are complete opposites. When you love, you care about someone. When you hate, you care about someone. The difference is in the way you care, whether negative or positive. But if you hate someone(thing), you care about it. Otherwise, it wouldn't bother you.
Have you ever been in a relationship in which you and said person both had hate for each other? Your answer is most likely yes, because as people we hate (dislike) those who are not like we are. Technically somebody always dislikes another person in their lifetime.
In a circumstance when you hated a person, what would you do if they tried to insult you? Often when the word hate comes to mind, something like aggression boils up as well. You may have violent thoughts, or feel angered towards them. Enough chatter, I'll get to the point. What I have observed is that people often go looking for a battle. Talking to someone you "hate" gives you the opportunity to be right, to put yourself above them, to make them know you hate them. While we may not directly follow them looking to fight, we often indirectly become aggressive. There's something fun, something thrilling about the challenge; the fight.
It's like playing the crane arcade game. It could go two ways: Put your ten cents in and you could get the prize, and walk away with a stuffed animal. Or, the crane could snap it's jaws and you leave with less than you had before. When you're working the crane, though; you may feel anticipation, adrenaline, excitement. Like I said before, the unknown is a site of both dislike and curiosity. So bring yourself back to the conversation with that person you hate. Do you feel that adrenaline? You say what you need to say and in the end you either win that prize; the confidence that you've won, or you leave with less than you had before.
Take this into thought: is that stuffed bear or that winning ego-booster really worth anything? The 50-cent bear cost less then the several dollars you put in to finally win it. Either way, you lose something. Is it really worth it? This same concept applies to hate. Hate is followed with a burst of emotion, adrenaline, fury perhaps. This height of emotion compels you sometimes to do things that you may regret later. Then when it's all over you realize that you could have used that dollar to buy a better teddy bear in the store. But when you're actually in the store, you don't want the bear. It's about getting what we can't have- what's behind the glass that we want? It's the completely irrational game of longing for what we can't have. So we do everything we can to get it. But that person on the side of the road we could easily start a fight with? Doesn't matter. We don't care. As for the person we claim we hate, we care. That hate is your sheild of glass. So what does all this have to do with love?
Two years later that old stuffed toy that you won that one time gets thrown away. It was worthless from the start. The next day you walk by a crane machine and see the little animals lined up, mockingly, inside of that glass square. Suddenly, though, you don't feel that need to hate that glass barrier. It's water to you. But who was the real enemy: the stuffed animal, your loss, or that cold glass? All of the sudden you become unsure of everything you thought was true and maybe you take the first step past hate. You still care, but you can't remember which you care about. So you forgive.
Love and Hate is caring, even when it doesn't make sense. We love people we shouldn't, we hate things that are beautiful. We loathe what we can't have. We love what we can't have. But what we can have-- That's just a teddy bear sitting on a store's shelf. Easy to reach, easy to get; easy to love, easy to hate- but nobody cares.
Now think about the word hate.
The first thing that probably came to your mind was anger, or a strong dislike of someone/something. In this sense, you care.
Truly, Love and Hate fall into the same category, even when we say they are complete opposites. When you love, you care about someone. When you hate, you care about someone. The difference is in the way you care, whether negative or positive. But if you hate someone(thing), you care about it. Otherwise, it wouldn't bother you.
Have you ever been in a relationship in which you and said person both had hate for each other? Your answer is most likely yes, because as people we hate (dislike) those who are not like we are. Technically somebody always dislikes another person in their lifetime.
In a circumstance when you hated a person, what would you do if they tried to insult you? Often when the word hate comes to mind, something like aggression boils up as well. You may have violent thoughts, or feel angered towards them. Enough chatter, I'll get to the point. What I have observed is that people often go looking for a battle. Talking to someone you "hate" gives you the opportunity to be right, to put yourself above them, to make them know you hate them. While we may not directly follow them looking to fight, we often indirectly become aggressive. There's something fun, something thrilling about the challenge; the fight.
It's like playing the crane arcade game. It could go two ways: Put your ten cents in and you could get the prize, and walk away with a stuffed animal. Or, the crane could snap it's jaws and you leave with less than you had before. When you're working the crane, though; you may feel anticipation, adrenaline, excitement. Like I said before, the unknown is a site of both dislike and curiosity. So bring yourself back to the conversation with that person you hate. Do you feel that adrenaline? You say what you need to say and in the end you either win that prize; the confidence that you've won, or you leave with less than you had before.
Take this into thought: is that stuffed bear or that winning ego-booster really worth anything? The 50-cent bear cost less then the several dollars you put in to finally win it. Either way, you lose something. Is it really worth it? This same concept applies to hate. Hate is followed with a burst of emotion, adrenaline, fury perhaps. This height of emotion compels you sometimes to do things that you may regret later. Then when it's all over you realize that you could have used that dollar to buy a better teddy bear in the store. But when you're actually in the store, you don't want the bear. It's about getting what we can't have- what's behind the glass that we want? It's the completely irrational game of longing for what we can't have. So we do everything we can to get it. But that person on the side of the road we could easily start a fight with? Doesn't matter. We don't care. As for the person we claim we hate, we care. That hate is your sheild of glass. So what does all this have to do with love?
Two years later that old stuffed toy that you won that one time gets thrown away. It was worthless from the start. The next day you walk by a crane machine and see the little animals lined up, mockingly, inside of that glass square. Suddenly, though, you don't feel that need to hate that glass barrier. It's water to you. But who was the real enemy: the stuffed animal, your loss, or that cold glass? All of the sudden you become unsure of everything you thought was true and maybe you take the first step past hate. You still care, but you can't remember which you care about. So you forgive.
Love and Hate is caring, even when it doesn't make sense. We love people we shouldn't, we hate things that are beautiful. We loathe what we can't have. We love what we can't have. But what we can have-- That's just a teddy bear sitting on a store's shelf. Easy to reach, easy to get; easy to love, easy to hate- but nobody cares.