i dont get it...

[x__onyx]

So, there is this guy. He lives kind of far away. I've never met him before, but I know his friend personally.

Ah, don't judge this post by the first couple sentences please. I'd really like advice.


He tells me...all of the time. How much he likes me. He always would say 'Love you' before he left. Then he got a girlfriend, told me he still loved me. Broke up with her. Got jealous of my talking and becoming good friends with his best friend. Last night, he told me how much he thinks about me, how I am on his mind everyday. That there isn't a day where he doesn't think about me. But he doesn't act like that, and my friend and him were playing would you rather.

She said to him::
"Would you rather make out with me or Hannah?"
And he said::
"Neither."
She said::
"No, you would die if you don't pick one."
He said::
"Still, neither."

I don't know if he just doesn't want her to know that he likes me, or if he is lying to me. His best friend said he usually doesn't lie about that kid of stuff, but i'm not sure I believe his friend, since he told him that I didn't like the guy like that anymore. Which was a lie.


Anyone...I would love help.
Thank youse.

[mynameisjane]

well he couldnt really be in love with you because he doesnt even really know you. it seems like a stupid joke. thats seems to make the most sense to me. even if it was just a crush, he'd be way to shy to just say, "i love you!" if he talks to you again look at him like he's crazy and ignore him.

[byee]

Guys! Aren't we pissers?

Before I do my best attempt at playing psychotherapist (the best compliment I've received here, btw), let me get to the punchline. Next time he says something provocative (like 'Love you'!), ask him flat out what he means. Get the clarification from him. He said it, he should be able to explain it. At least it will clarify to him that you want him to put up or shut up, that he cannot just say or do anything without being held at least somewhat accountable for his actions. It also puts him on notice that you're expecting honesty.

OK, now for my best Dr. Phil. Guys like to think we're always in charge and always cool. But the truth is, we're really a bunch of big babies, very insecure, not very confident. We often compensate by being overly cocky, overly familiar, and totally jack asses. To see the softer, more vulnerable side to guydom, just read some of the stuff here at VT.

Your friend might be one of those deeply insecure, totally human guys who hasn't developed either the confidence, or the social ability to compensate for those deeper feelings. So, he jokes around too much, and without meaning to, confuses (and perhaps occasionally infuriates) those around him.

You can help both of you out here with a simple convo.