It's driving me crazy

[ctw4451]

You guys have answered these questions multiple times.
Okay - so..I used to always jack off in seventh grade to men in underwear. This year, I've realized that I want to STOP doing that and be straight. Have you ever "disagreed w/ your mind?" Like, you say your straight but you hear a voice like "NO YOUR NOT!" I'd like those to stop, so if anyone knows how to calm that down?

And we had a retreat today, and it was about chastity and sexual feelings. I saw a nineth grader and started thinking the words "gay sex" in my mind. I got aroused. But, I tried the same thing with "sex." Not so much was I aroused. I only say girls are hot, because I've never said that about a guy! I feel like I can only be physically and emotionally attracted to women, but I don't want the thought of me doing what I did to men for the rest of my life! I want to be with women, and women only.

Is it just curiosity? And how can I not worry?
Everyday, EVERYDAY, I try not to and yet I wonder if I'm straight or gay. I need help. It's heading towards trauma, haha. I tell myself that my life is "sucky" right now. I just don't know. I couldn't be emotionally hooked or attracted to a guy. I could NEVER see myself with a soul-mate as a guy. And I've never said a guy was "HOT." But somehow my desire is being handled.

Also, is it penis curiosity to look around at guys asses, penises? I'm not dominant. I still get aroused to sex with females, though. Can someone help? I need all of the help I can get! :)

[Maverick]

Boys Puberty -> Teen Sexuality

When you are in puberty pretty much anything sexual can turn you on. Just because you think guys are attractive physically doesn't mean you are gay. It's probably just curiosity and the fact that hormones pretty much make anything sexual turn you on. If you are attracted to women emotionally and physically then you are straight. Hormones just confuses things.

On a side note, next time space your post into paragraphs. It's hard to read a huge block of text. :P

[whitecar]

When you are in puberty pretty much anything sexual can turn you on. Just because you think guys are attractive physically doesn't mean you are gay. It's probably just curiosity and the fact that hormones pretty much make anything sexual turn you on. If you are attracted to women emotionally and physically then you are straight. Hormones just confuses things.

i agree... its just your hormones... no big deal... DONT let it stress you out :cool:

[ctw4451]

Okay, then can you help me on this:
How can I get it to not stress me out? Can I try any relaxation tricks? Because I'll probably still worry about it. :\

[byee]

What's stressful about this for you?

Fantasies are in your head, where they are perfectly safe and absolutley harmless. They mean nothing until you act on them. Until then you're still in the 'safe zone'.

It also sounds like you're a member of some traditional, conservative group, maybe that's why you're stressing out about these fantasies/urges? It's hard to feel something that you think is not ok by the larger group you're a member of. You'd be surprised how many of your peers are having the same stuff, that's why they're having retreats to address them!

And remember, that what makes you who you are isn't at all determined by what turns you on, they're just feelings!

[ctw4451]

Yep, I'm Catholic. It's not even that, it's just that there's a voice in my head disagreeing with me and it's confusing. I'm pretty sure I'll turn out straight, but in my head tomorrow it's like I'll start over again thinking I don't know if I am or not.

It's really frustrating. I just don't want to worry over it, and I want like a way to just tell myself that I'm not and just stop thinking about it. Any ideas?

[byee]

By my calculations, if you're in the 8th grade, then you're, like, 14?

If so, every time you get weirded out by a random 'guy' thought, say to yourself 'It's ok, I'm only 14'. Say this 3 times, you'll feel better. If not, try 'Sam said I'm only 14, so it's ok'.

It's really ok to have these thoughts, if you were gay you would know it, not because you're sometimes turned on by certain 'guy' things, but because of the way you feel about yourself and who you want to be close to. You're just horny. Not necessarily gay. Don't confuse the 2.

Repeat after me....

[ctw4451]

Thank you guys, you guys are really life - savers. I've always thought I was straight, and I believe I am. Thank you guys so much, and If i have questions, I'll be sure to ask!