Please help!!!!! Someone!!!!

[drum major]

Last time I posted in this forum, I was saying how I have no friends and how much I hated my life... Now, my life is understandable from where I was last time. Although I still wish I could gain some more trustworthy friends who I can share things with when I have no one else. I had that 7 months ago but I ruined it. So here is what happened, I had a great guy friend that I could share mostly anything with, until one day when I told his girlfriend I liked her. He already knew I liked his gf but I guess some things I said were out of line so then he basically "banished" me from his life... I tried multiple times to regain his friendship but to no success. i finally felt i should give him some time, now coming up on the 15th it will be 6 months since that day, can anyone please give me some insight to what to do, i want to fix this so that we can atleast be able to say hi to each other but i am all out of ideas... PLEASE HELP.....


also i don't know if this belongs here i just put it here because a friendship is a relationship between two friends

[FreeFall]

If one of my "friends" told me they liked my boyfriend, and acted upon it even (you telling her and saying "out of line" things is acting upon it).
They'd be banished from me too.
They lost my trust. They betrayed me. They tried to flirt with MY love. They tried to take MY love. They stabbed me in the back, used me to get to him is how I would be feeling.

You can't do anything.
You messed up big time.
You betrayed him, you lost his trust, and you were extremely selfish, arrogant and rude.
He knows your sorry, but it means nothing. He has every right to not have you in his life after what you did dude. Bow out with what decency and grace you have left and leave him alone.
Go find other friends and go find a girl that doesn't have a boyfriend, preferably one that you aren't friends with.

[unnamed94]

theres nothing you can do but accept the fact that he probably wont want you in his life. you betrayed him by telling his girlfriend that you liked her and some other stuff that were out of line. if i was on your spot, i would let him know im sorry about what happened and try to see if we could be friends again, but if he told me he doesnt want to be friends with me anymore then i would walk away from his life. on your case it seems you have already tried to 'regain his friendship' so let it go.

there is nothing you could do to fix it, its up to him. go make some other friends and learn from what happened

[spiderdude]

Unlike the second person that posted I wouldn't put it like that, if I were him I would have been questioning you and gave you a warning... I think you should tell him "hey man I fuckied up big time a while back, and I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to have so much impact" or something like that atleast, hope I could help you

[unnamed94]

Unlike the second person that posted I wouldn't put it like that, if I were him I would have been questioning you and gave you a warning... I think you should tell him "hey man I fuckied up big time a while back, and I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to have so much impact" or something like that atleast, hope I could help you

its up to his friend if he decides to give him a warning or banish the op from his life. he already said he 'tried multiple times to regain his friendship but to no success' so he probably already tried to tell him that and it kinda feels his friend wont change his mind. everyone could react different to what happened, but given that 6 months have passed and that he already tried to talk to him there is nothing he can do imo

[IAMWILL]

If one of my "friends" told me they liked my boyfriend, and acted upon it even (you telling her and saying "out of line" things is acting upon it).
They'd be banished from me too.
They lost my trust. They betrayed me. They tried to flirt with MY love. They tried to take MY love. They stabbed me in the back, used me to get to him is how I would be feeling.

You can't do anything.
You messed up big time.
You betrayed him, you lost his trust, and you were extremely selfish, arrogant and rude.
He knows your sorry, but it means nothing. He has every right to not have you in his life after what you did dude. Bow out with what decency and grace you have left and leave him alone.
Go find other friends and go find a girl that doesn't have a boyfriend, preferably one that you aren't friends with.

I think this is a bit overboard. Your friend reacted naturally, but he did overreact. I mean its not like you asked her out or tried to steal her from him, you just admitted you liked her. Yes she was off limits, but your body doesn't know that sometimes. If you talk to him seriously and apologize, and include that you no longer like that girl, he should be fine. Also, find another good friend or girl. I know its easier said than done but if you show him that you don't need him anymore he will realize that you're over the stage where him and his girlfriend were all that important to you.

[FreeFall]

I think this is a bit overboard. Your friend reacted naturally, but he did overreact. I mean its not like you asked her out or tried to steal her from him, you just admitted you liked her. Yes she was off limits, but your body doesn't know that sometimes. If you talk to him seriously and apologize, and include that you no longer like that girl, he should be fine. Also, find another good friend or girl. I know its easier said than done but if you show him that you don't need him anymore he will realize that you're over the stage where him and his girlfriend were all that important to you.
Overreacting would be him threatening OP, harassing OP, stalking OP, constantly beating Op up and getting his friends to join in.

You're fine with your friends hitting on your significant other. That's fine, but Op's ex-friend isn't. Biological urges be damned, learn some self-control.
This reaction is completely fine.
Op even said some things he said to the guy's girlfriend were out of line. I'm going off of what I know, for all we do know Op may have borderline sexually harassed her with his words. We don't know, there's no clarification.

Op's ex-friend knew the guy was infatuated with his girlfriend, and he was still his friend then. It's when OP acted upon it that things got bad. Op's friend gave him in an inch, but OP took the mile. He broke his trust in a major way. This isn't the same as OP spreading ex-friend's biggest secret.
This is OP making two people uncomfortable, being very selfish and rude, and losing the trust of one of them as well, probably both.

[IAMWILL]

Overreacting would be him threatening OP, harassing OP, stalking OP, constantly beating Op up and getting his friends to join in.

You're fine with your friends hitting on your significant other. That's fine, but Op's ex-friend isn't. Biological urges be damned, learn some self-control.
This reaction is completely fine.
Op even said some things he said to the guy's girlfriend were out of line. I'm going off of what I know, for all we do know Op may have borderline sexually harassed her with his words. We don't know, there's no clarification.

Op's ex-friend knew the guy was infatuated with his girlfriend, and he was still his friend then. It's when OP acted upon it that things got bad. Op's friend gave him in an inch, but OP took the mile. He broke his trust in a major way. This isn't the same as OP spreading ex-friend's biggest secret.
This is OP making two people uncomfortable, being very selfish and rude, and losing the trust of one of them as well, probably both.

I disagree, I still think OP's friend overreacted. I'm basing this off seeing the same scenario happen multiple times in my own life and never seeing anyone react as extensively as the OP's friend did.

Biological urges be damned, learn some self control.
No offense, but you have never been a teenage guy. Even the most disciplined cannot control themselves. Male's homones rage a lot harder than females. Its a bitch and we don't like it either, but thats how nature made us.

And hell the fuck no would I be "fine" if a friend hit on my girl, I'd be fucking pissed. But I would also be understanding, and would sit him down and give him a face to face talk, explaining that his behavior cannot continue. I wouldn't react impulsively as the OP's friend did and practically banish him from my life. The OP never said his friend told him how he felt about it before, so I'm assuming it didn't happen. If that is the case, the OPs friend needs to lead the relationship more. Best friends do not treat each other like that, not at all. Unless of course, the OP's friendship was not as strong as he has indicated.

[FreeFall]

I disagree, I still think OP's friend overreacted.
I'm not debating with you about this. It's ridiculous.

This isn't a post about "was my friend wrong or right?"
What happened, happened and we cannot change that.

OP said themselves that they spoke out of line, his friend knew he liked her, and that he's apologized countless times. 7 months ago. Pretty sure this guy was serious.
So what good is it telling OP what you would've done as his friend in taking him back when that's over? No, focus on OP now and stick to telling him how to move forward.
No amount of sorry will bring back the trust or ease the betrayal it seems and 7 months is a strong sign of it.
So no use in him to remain stuck over it, just got to go forward.