How to find a friend when not in school?

[canadaski]

I don't have any friends at the moment, as due to my depression I'm going to college until fall, don't have a job, and don't really have any hobbies. I'm 18 and I'm pretty much all alone. Right now, what's my best shot at getting a good friend or boyfriend/girlfriend so I don't feel so alone and can make breathing just a little bit less painful?:)

[Noirtier]

Honestly, you're gonna have to put yourself out there. You said you don't have a job or any hobbies--so why not try looking to apply for a job and picking up a hobby or two? It seems at the moment that you're not really meeting anyone in your life, and that's not a good thing. If you get a job, you'll have people who you will have to interact with on a day to day basis, and who you will get to know through working with them. They may even, in fact, begin to become friends to you. I would also suggest you try looking for and testing a few hobbies. Find what you like to do, and then maybe look to see if there's any groups in the community who like to do similar things--if you like to play soccer, for example, then see if there's any soccer leagues around (yes, I realize it's the middle of winter, it was the first thing that came to mind :P), etc. You have to take the initiative to put yourself out there and meet people who you'll be able to begin to make friends with. Once you go back to school, be sure to put yourself out there again and make sure you get involved in things. Try out some activities or clubs the school has, talk to people in class when you have the chance, see if people want to go to the library to study one day or something, whatever you feel you need to do. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you're able to find some people who can really be friends to you and help you, but you've got to take that first step of getting yourself out there. We're all here to help and support you if you ever need us

[Gandalf]

Honestly, you're gonna have to put yourself out there. You said you don't have a job or any hobbies--so why not try looking to apply for a job and picking up a hobby or two? It seems at the moment that you're not really meeting anyone in your life, and that's not a good thing. If you get a job, you'll have people who you will have to interact with on a day to day basis, and who you will get to know through working with them. They may even, in fact, begin to become friends to you. I would also suggest you try looking for and testing a few hobbies. Find what you like to do, and then maybe look to see if there's any groups in the community who like to do similar things--if you like to play soccer, for example, then see if there's any soccer leagues around (yes, I realize it's the middle of winter, it was the first thing that came to mind :P), etc. You have to take the initiative to put yourself out there and meet people who you'll be able to begin to make friends with. Once you go back to school, be sure to put yourself out there again and make sure you get involved in things. Try out some activities or clubs the school has, talk to people in class when you have the chance, see if people want to go to the library to study one day or something, whatever you feel you need to do. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you're able to find some people who can really be friends to you and help you, but you've got to take that first step of getting yourself out there. We're all here to help and support you if you ever need us

Clint, I never ever reply if I see you have, but I think you overlooked something that needs saying...

OP: Noirtier makes excellent points about meeting new people and clubs, but you perhaps need to realise that having a relationship won't fix your feelings of emptiness or lonliness in the long term, that in my opinion can only come with resolving personal issues.

Although of course if you feel in a position where by finding a partner would be best for you I wish you the best of luck :)

Hope I've helped :)

[randomnessqueen]

if you are in school then you should try talking to people there. both classmates and professeurs.
join local groups, i have some friends outside of school from a local acting group i joined as well as a local writing group i joined.
put yourself out there and people will come to you.
if there isnt a group that fits what you do, then just pick one to try out and maybe youll get a taste for it, or atleast meet someone.

[dontfiguremeout]

What you need to do is find what interests you personally! From there you'll find people who have the same interest in you, and probably act a lot like you! Even if it means you find a place to work that interests you, because most likely you'll find someone who might like the same thing! And honestly you should join clubs at college, major in something that interests you! Get a dorm life so then you are forced to live with another guy for a while and then from there meet more people!