is this wrong

[ackmedsgirl666]

hey guys.
so i was wondering is it wrong of me to have feelings for someone who ive hurt over and over.... i mean like i still like this guy... but i have hurt him repeatedly. were still friends but i blew any chances of being with him by my most recent actions and hes gay,,

umm what should i do> i am so confused
how do i still like someone after hurting them

[spiderdude]

I think that there is nothing you can do, he is gay, you can tell him how you feel.... But that's just about it

[ackmedsgirl666]

I think that there is nothing you can do, he is gay, you can tell him how you feel.... But that's just about it

its not thats im afraid of being turned down because i know he would anyways because i have hurt him so many times
i mean is it wrong how i feel thats what i wanna know

[Clawhammer]

No, it isn't wrong to have feelings for him. However, it would be wrong to disregard both your actions, and the simple circumstances. Sometimes it's just better for everyone if we move on, lass.

[FreeFall]

You're probably sub-consciously seeing them as "your's".

You say you hurt them over and over and over. You would think anyone in their right mind would be done with you and the pain you cause them. But they stayed, they gave you multiple chances and they hadn't left before.

It's because they've stayed time and time again, that your sub-conscious has built up this sort of firewall, that they'd never leave you. That they'd allow you to keep hurting them and causing them misery. I'm stressing your sub-conscious so much in my post because it's been watching your actions and their actions. You've unknowingly grown into think you could do whatever you wanted, they'd never leave you and that built into your consciousness as what you think is infatuation with them.

Your conscious is processing the feelings you have as liking them, because it doesn't understand that your sub-conscious is hurting that what it has grown possessive over has broken that mold it had created for them. Again, it saw the person you continued to hurt as their's, that they'd always be their and continue to endure the pain you gave them. It's unhappy they've left. So while that part of the brain is angry and annoyed and confused that the person has actually left you, the current part is trying to rationalize those thoughts and it's matching the possessiveness as infatuation.

Edit: No, it's not really wrong because you're not fully aware of it all. Your two consciousnesses are sort of at war with each other and trying to figure out the feelings, causing what you feel. It's out of your hands in a way until/unless you were to act upon it.

[ackmedsgirl666]

ok thanks
i have but i havent
idk i just have this thing with him... like not attachment almost like bond
like we fight alot and this time i almost lost him... for good but i was able to get him back involved with me... after all we have been best friends for going on 5 years now... and i wasnt gonna let that go easily.. i care too much about him...
i just wish i could have been there for him when he came out to everybody
but where was I.... i was stuck living in bum fuck idaho where childrens aid shipped me just to try and get my head straightened.... yeah straightened they figured sending me away would turn me straight!

[Clawhammer]

ok thanks
i have but i havent
idk i just have this thing with him... like not attachment almost like bond
like we fight alot and this time i almost lost him... for good but i was able to get him back involved with me... after all we have been best friends for going on 5 years now... and i wasnt gonna let that go easily.. i care too much about him...
i just wish i could have been there for him when he came out to everybody
but where was I.... i was stuck living in bum fuck idaho where childrens aid shipped me just to try and get my head straightened.... yeah straightened they figured sending me away would turn me straight!

Sounds like the actual problem runs a bit deeper than the question originally asked, if I may be so bold as to observe? You gave us some pretty vague conditions when you originally asked.

[ackmedsgirl666]

Sounds like the actual problem runs a bit deeper than the question originally asked, if I may be so bold as to observe? You gave us some pretty vague conditions when you originally asked.

sorry about that
i shpuld have been more descriptive
but freefall pretty much hit the nail on the head

[FreeFall]

I posted in the wrong thread thanks to backspace D: ignore this post!
Edit again: I can't type well tonight ._.

Edit once more: maybe try to soul search. Dig in your sub-conscious and your conscious will have a better time understanding that part of the mind, feelings and it will be able to rationalize. You'll most likely be able to get into a good standing in how you're feeling, and the confusion may possibly shift away enough for you to process it all more clearly (:

[ackmedsgirl666]

ah ok i see.
well thanks :)

[FreeFall]

I mean ignore that post where I edit a bunch of times not the big wall of text. Ah I'm out of it tonight D: good luck to you and I hope you get your understanding : D

[ackmedsgirl666]

which ones?

[FreeFall]

Uhm, it says post #9. I hit backspace one too many times and posted in the wrong thread ._.
That last bit at the bottom though is my actual advice, after messing up on posting in the wrong thread and spelling it wrong.

Or do you mean the consciousness and understanding it? If then, both of them. They don't need to work together, more rather they can't, but it helps to be able to sit down and dig and and figure out if you can feel something your sub-conscious has picked up (:

[ackmedsgirl666]

oh i see ok :)
i see your mistake now.. no problem girl