Wanting to cut again. Right now.

[cinderellagirl732]

I really want to cut myself right now, but I thought I would type on here instead to see if that helps any. I always seem to know the wrong things to say at the wrong times. This girl who told me she liked me and I were talking and she got mad at me and I told her that I'd get out of her life. I apologized to her the next day or two because I felt bad and like her, too. She told me, "It's whatever, really". So I told her that if she wants me to leave her alone, all she has to do is tell me. At that she blew up. I thought it was what she'd want to hear. She told me I made nothing into an argument and I "want her to change me". Um, I never said ANY of that to her. I told her that the only reason I said sorry was to make things right between us, but that obviously blew up in my face. I'm so angry and embarressed and sad right now, I don't know what to do. She isn't the easiest person to get along with. I found that out last year..I moved to a new school (her school), and she and I were friends for a little while then she got mad and we stopped talking until this year, and I was the one to apologize. I don't know why. She's trouble. I know I should just stay away from her. But I can't. She has the effect to make me feel like the most loved, wanted person alive (which is what I love about her, because no one else has ever made me feel like that), or she can make me feel like I'm not worth anything and would be better off dead. The "better off dead" part is how right now. She told me when I admited that I like her too that she doesn't want to hurt me. I told her she couldn't. But she can. She's bipolar to add onto that. And she was teasing me, telling me that she liked me but she "had a boyfriend". I don't see why I fell for it. I just don't know what to do. I never had her to begin with, but I feel like I lost her. Can someone please give me their openion? Thank you.

[tundravortex]

you can always find another one because i did something like that to a friend of mine and we were close until i said something and are friendship went to hell...but you can keep tryingto get her back or just find another one because theres more than one person out there for you but its your choice you can keep trying to get her back or find another one....your choice

[Wustenfuchs]

Listen, that's no friend how you describe her.
You are already loved probably, but you never took the necessary time to notice it. For example your parents. I'm sure that this feeling of yours, of being loved, is more related to the fact that you can 'be yourself', you know, being social.

Just talk to other people, meet new people, and you'll see how many other people exist! If you lose a friend, it probably wasn't even a friend. Real friends pass through a battlefield together, and stick together. In short words, friends are like stars, dear, but you don't always see them.

It's up to you to find them.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

I know very well how you feel. I was in a bind like this one before. I was just trying to help and my best friend perceived it as hurtful. After that I nearly strangled myself to death. No really, I did. But then I had a will to live, and realized harming myself actually wasn't in my best interest.
I see that what you're doing is a bad idea. Just because you chose one of the worst fish in the sea doesn't mean that cutting yourself is the best way out of that mess. I don't know exactly what is, but I've got an idea of what may be, I got out of a situation before like this. I'd just ignore what she says until it becomes more positive and not suicide invoking.