gender queer?

[ackmedsgirl666]

theres something different about me.... something i probably shouldnt be ashamed of but i am... i think im gender queer/trans
if i were to describe my sexuality to people i would say i am pansexual because i am attracted to all sexes and identitiies... but am i really...

I hate my body, this is a mans body.. its the right shape of a mans body
a womens body shouldnt look like this.... i am ashamed
i dont like this body and i want out of it... i just dont know in which way or how to go about this... idk where i would get support. I have a trans friend who would support me.... but theres the problem of my boyfriend
although he is bi-sexual and is ok with fooling around with guys but he says he would never date one.. and if i became a guy he would have to leave me....
which seems very unfair.. i cant help it that i am not happy in this body..
i cant help it that i wanna be something else
my dad raised me sort of as a boy until that bitch of a step mother came along and forced me to wear dresses and look pretty on sundays..
truth it... i like makeup.... i think it makes me look sexy
but then when im standing in a mirror and i see this body..
these tits just sagging there that should not be there..
this vagina... which just wasnt designed for me...
everybody around me is forcing me to be someone i dont wanna be
i miss my short hair and i wanna cut it off again...
i wanna go back to binding again
i like dressing in baggy hoodies and sweatpants
i just wanna be me but nobody will let me
how do i know i could live with a transphobic family... my sister is 10 and is already rude towards my best friend... and call him names
my boyfriend.. well hes the same...
so how do i know i wont lose family over this..
i dont enjoy sex involving my vagina.... but the thought of anal kind of makes me hurt....
is what i am doing right?
what should i do... its unfortunate because i know i will lose family over this and probably friends... and my boyfriend.... and probably my dignity
and i know i wont be able to afford the surguries either

WHAT DO I DO???
could anybody help me :'(

[Lost in the Echo]

Well, which do you think would be the best decision? Although I think friends and family should accept you for who you are, something about your situation just makes me feel like you shouldn't become transgendered, because you would lose a lot of friends/family, and becoming trans wouldn't be worth it in the end, because you would lose so many friends and family.

I recommend you just keep living as a girl, everyone has things they hate about their body, but you just have to live with that.
Maybe you could continue trying to persuade your friends and family to support you becoming a transgender, but if they still don't like the idea, just live with that.
All the friends and family you would lose because of this is not worth it. Yes, it's unfair they won't let you be who you want to be, but you just have to accept that, and maybe try to see things from their point of view.


Good luck, I wish you all the best.:)

[workingatperfect]

Hmm... It kind of sounds to me like you just aren't happy with your body, not your gender. What really stood out to me was that you said it looks like a man's body, not a woman's and you're ashamed. I also know that (I think) you've made posts before about how you're unhappy with your weight. As someone who is also overweight, I know I look at myself sometimes and can't help but think "this isn't what a woman's body should look like."

Before you make any decisions, you should really think about whether you're not happy with your body because of your figure, or because of it's gender. You don't want to make a decision like this and then realize it wasn't what you really wanted.

And in the mean time, there's nothing wrong with having short hair or wearing sweats a lot. If that's how you feel comfortable, cut your hair. Wear your sweats. I don't blame you, I wear sweats and pajama pants as often as possible haha.