NZLD
January 6th, 2013, 03:22 PM
I'm not going to right a passage about my life because i feel i have done it to often so im just going to keep it professional and formal.
-I always here music playing in my head, especially when im trying to fall asleep, its so confusing i actually think its playing in real life but then it repeats so i realise its just in my head
-I always feel empty and i get depressed alot but the depressed feeling i get are really spontaneous and can get really deep and emotional so fast over absolutely nothing, so much to the point where i just go and lay in bed at 8pm and cry over nothing and wonder why i am even living and how horrible my life is.
-I am pretty much an insomniac, i go to bed at 6am most mornings and wake up at 8pm and no matter what do my sleeping pattern always reverts to this!
-i do really impulsive and stupid things without thinking of the consequences like get drunk alone, catch the train to a friends at 11pm at night or randomly start smoking when i get depressed even though i don't smoke.
-my opinion of people ie friends rapidly changes so much to the point where i barely have any friends left, even my best friends i sometimes think aren't there for me so i randomly delete them on facebook and then wake up the next morning realising how stupid i was.
-i push people away and always get called egotistical, i also manipulate people alot even if its unintentional.
-My moods can change over the slightest of things with no warning and get really extreme, especially with anger and depression.
-socially i get extremely anxious and spend most of my time in my room because i get really intimidated meeting new people as i fear they are going to put me down and mock me and make me look foolish in front of people.
-i self harm and sometimes when i get extremely angry i carve the word hate into my leg which i have done several times.
i see the school counciller to try and cope with my depressed feelings but nothing has helped in the last 18 months and i don't know what to do anymore! does anyone have any ideas of what i might have or what i do or even how i do it!?
-I always here music playing in my head, especially when im trying to fall asleep, its so confusing i actually think its playing in real life but then it repeats so i realise its just in my head
-I always feel empty and i get depressed alot but the depressed feeling i get are really spontaneous and can get really deep and emotional so fast over absolutely nothing, so much to the point where i just go and lay in bed at 8pm and cry over nothing and wonder why i am even living and how horrible my life is.
-I am pretty much an insomniac, i go to bed at 6am most mornings and wake up at 8pm and no matter what do my sleeping pattern always reverts to this!
-i do really impulsive and stupid things without thinking of the consequences like get drunk alone, catch the train to a friends at 11pm at night or randomly start smoking when i get depressed even though i don't smoke.
-my opinion of people ie friends rapidly changes so much to the point where i barely have any friends left, even my best friends i sometimes think aren't there for me so i randomly delete them on facebook and then wake up the next morning realising how stupid i was.
-i push people away and always get called egotistical, i also manipulate people alot even if its unintentional.
-My moods can change over the slightest of things with no warning and get really extreme, especially with anger and depression.
-socially i get extremely anxious and spend most of my time in my room because i get really intimidated meeting new people as i fear they are going to put me down and mock me and make me look foolish in front of people.
-i self harm and sometimes when i get extremely angry i carve the word hate into my leg which i have done several times.
i see the school counciller to try and cope with my depressed feelings but nothing has helped in the last 18 months and i don't know what to do anymore! does anyone have any ideas of what i might have or what i do or even how i do it!?