How to come out?

[cinderellagirl732]

I've recently discovered that I'm not straight. The signs have been there all along, but there are too many to list and it'd probably just annoy whoever is reading this..anyways, my parents and brother are Christian and think it's wrong to be gay. I'm a Christian, too, I just don't know why God would say it's wrong to love, whatever gender. I don't want them to hate me. They make fun of gay people..how should I tell them? Or should I just not? I mean, if I had a girlfriend, I think they'd deserve to know, but I don't want them to be ashamed of me. They're already ashamed of me for cutting. Any advice?:confused:

[Dunce]

Well, make sure you're sure you're not straight first.
Maybe tell some close friends first? As long as they're okay with that stuff. They could give you some advice or be there when you come out.
When you choose to tell your family is up to you, if you still have a good bit of school to get through before you go to college (or whatever) then it's best to tell them soon. Just be honest with them, say what you said here, that if being gay was wrong then God wouldn't have made you gay. You can't help who you love.
Be ready first, there's no rush.
If your parents think being gay is wrong to a "God hates fags" extent then it would be best just not to tell them until you go to college. Either that or just mentally prepare yourself for how they'll react.

[Noirtier]

I've recently discovered that I'm not straight. The signs have been there all along, but there are too many to list and it'd probably just annoy whoever is reading this..anyways, my parents and brother are Christian and think it's wrong to be gay. I'm a Christian, too, I just don't know why God would say it's wrong to love, whatever gender. I don't want them to hate me. They make fun of gay people..how should I tell them? Or should I just not? I mean, if I had a girlfriend, I think they'd deserve to know, but I don't want them to be ashamed of me. They're already ashamed of me for cutting. Any advice?:confused:

Hun, I feel for you, I really do. I'm gay, and my family is Christian, I live in a very homophobic community, and it's not fun, it's really not. But there's nothing I can do to change being gay. It's nothing that I chose, and I accepted that about myself. First, let me say this. I'm not a Christian anymore, but I know more about Christianity and its inner workings than you can shake a stick at. Let me say that modern day Christianity and the way it treats gays is wrong. It's unbiblical for them to treat gays in the way that they do. Christ himself spent time with the sinners, not the religious elite. His disciples were average fellows, not high class people. He loved the sinners despite their sin, had compassion on them even though they failed him. And he commanded his followers to do the same. And today, they haven't, they haven't done it one bit--not just with gays, but with the poor, with criminals, with people of other religions, with anyone who, really, isn't a "perfect Christian." And that's something that is unacceptable. In Christianity, God is love, and he will love you REGARDLESS of if you're gay, straight, bi, whatever. His love is unconditional, and just because you're gay does NOT mean that you are condemned to hell. Because everyone deserves to die, not just the gays. If you have faith in Christ, then the Bible says that you will have eternal life. I may not be a Christian anymore, but even I can see that the way things have gone in modern times in Christianity has not been what Christ would have wanted. Mary Magdelene was a prostitute, and yet Christ loved her just the same as he would love someone who lived a perfect life. Now, let me move on to the family issue. The way that your family treats gays isn't right, and if they truly love you, they should NOT be ashamed of you for it. Because it's not something that you chose hun. They're your family and they still deserve to know, but wait until you feel you're ready to tell them. Please, do it BEFORE you get a girlfriend, but still wait until you feel you're ready. Then, when things are calm, tell them that there's something you need to tell them, to talk to them about, and even though you'll be scared, do your best to come out and say it. They'll be shocked, I'm sure, and they won't know what to say for a while. But if they really love you, as their daughter/sister, then they'll come to accept you anyway, to keep on loving you, to continue supporting you. Hold strong, and don't let them force you into any kind of guilt trips or anything, because it's nothing to be guilty about. Don't let them try and make yourself force yourself straight, because there's nothing wrong with being who you are. And hopefully, when that time comes, they'll also realize how hurtful their comments on gay people must have been before, and stop their jokes about them. And if they don't, you have every right to request to them that they stop. When you do come out, I would also suggest you look into joining a local alliance club, to have people who you know support you too. And all of us here, we care about you and support you, and will always be here if you need us, if you need help, or if you just need to talk.

[Dimentio]

Well one your parents and brother are homophobic, Can't blame religion on that, I have had MANY religious friends and they love me even though i am gay! Also, This really really isn't easy, I know this happens but don't want this to happen to a sweetie like you where the kid does get kicked out and disowned, But if your parents are nice enough and really do believe in their faith they should know to accept you and be proud of their daughter and to love you no matter what :) Not read the bible but pretty sure it says that! Good luck, I am here if you need it :)

[cinderellagirl732]

But there's nothing I can do to change being gay. It's nothing that I chose, and I accepted that about myself.

This is what I wish I could accept and have my family accept. I've told a couple of my close friends. Most of them are gay or bi. I think only one of them isn't, but even she was supportive. Thank you for the advice and everyone else who answered, too.(: