Love Sucks

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Love Sucks!

So here's the deal. For the first time in my life I have feelings for a girl that are more than a crush. A lot more. Honestly 90% of the fantasies I've had of her she had her clothes on (I mean it!). It was mostly things like taking her to see my parents, her smile, and stuff like that. So this is the problem: she has a boyfriend. Problem number two: he doesn't treat her right. I complimented her the other day (said she was beautiful, 'cause I'm just sensitive like that I guess :wub: ) and she told me that she didn't believe me (she never hears any compliments or praise from her boyfriend at all, and he treats her like an object to be fucked and then put away in the closet. Sorry for that analogy, but it fits). Problem 3: he want's to kill me. Great. I don't think she'll even consider me (have to wait till monday to find out) but he'll turn my face to mush. Damn this is soo confusing. But I can't help it; it's like I get a terrible pain in my chest, almost like a heart attack when I think about never having the chance to share this with her. I think this is what they call love... Damn it!

[Silverfist64]

hey dont worry. shity boyfriends dont last forever. youll have ur chance. sure some girls go out with guys like that when their young becuase they want the experiience of having a boyfriend like that, but most of the time when the grow up they will want someone who respects them and can earn a living and sustain a family. you may not have the girl now but you arent invisable to her either.

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Yeah she told me she thinks I'm "really sweet" and a "great friend". And of course you know what that means. FRIEND ZONE!!! Ah.... anyway she really seems to not believe me when I tell her how good she looks... she seemed kinda sad when she said that her boyfriend never says it. I just don't want her to see herself like that because she really is the most beautiful person (inside and out) that I have ever known. Ah Crap... :(

[Maverick]

Teen relationships usually don't last. If he doesn't treat her well as you described, their future isn't looking bright. All you can do is stand on the sidelines but try not to obsess over it too much.

[Silverfist64]

girls can be like that. the girl that i feel the same way about and has a crappy boyfriend who barely sees here a doesnt take time of from stupid stuff to see her. i can tell her shes beautiful and pretty and all she can say back in return is " my nose is too big" and "im fat" but even when their down on themselves you gotta be there to cheer them up and have to deny the fact that they say their ugly and keep saying their beautiful.

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Teen relationships usually don't last. If he doesn't treat her well as you described, their future isn't looking bright. All you can do is stand on the sidelines but try not to obsess over it too much.

That's the problem. She's been with him for over a year... and she could be so much better off with ME!!! It's the classic "good guys finish last" story right out of a movie. But the good guy always gets the girl in the end :yes:

I hope... :confused:

[Glasgow]

Ahh my friend, i must say:

I dont think you are IN love yet. You are showing signs but you need to progress further to actually be in love with her. You like her alot, much like myself and this one girl, but im just too damn shy to ask her out. All i can say is, dont be all over her. Take it really slowly, be her friend for abit, and when her and her bf split you will be there to catch her :)

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Heh... that was my plan actually :D I did tell her I like her, and she didn't take it weird or anything. I think it made her feel better about herself, but she probably didn't think much about what that really ment.

[Glasgow]

But goodluck with her man. Us canadians have all the charm and im sure you will get her in the end :) Im going to bed, goodnight :P

[Gumleaf]

if he doesn't treat her right i don't think it will last. just make sure your ready to swoop in when the time comes.

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Unfortunetly, I think this guy is her first ever boyfriend, so she doesn't KNOW what it's like to be treated better. She thinks that the relationship she's in is what everyone else has. I couldn't make her understand otherwise... unless I'm really really nice to her :D

[AutumnDae]

Just some advice, when her and her now boyfriend do split, don't try to catch her on the rebound. Girls, at least me, hate that. Comfort her, but don't talk about dating right away. Chances are that she will feel that "all guys are assholes and i am never dating again" Just listen to her. That will be the best thing that you can do when she's upset. Girls WILL remember that later. As for him being her first ever boyfriend, and not knowing that she isn't being treated right, my friend is in the same situation. If you really want to break them up, talk to her friends and tell them that she shouldn't be in this situation.

Hope this helped.

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Yeah it did, and I didn't plan on "coming to the rescue" if they did break up. Though I'd certainly be there for her :D

[Hyper]

Ugh yeah don't just wait expecting it to magically end

Some girls, women have self destructive behaivour and are attracted to assholes

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Yeah that sure sucks doesn't it? Hence the title... Love Sucks :D

[mynameisjane]

instead of comforting her when they break up, which is the best friend thing to do, you should get all mad and say you'll kick his ass. of course she'll be like, "no, don't be stupid" be like, "no, he hurt you, i'm gonna kill him."

see, if you start working out now, maybe take some steroids, you'll be strong enough to crush him. then she'll be like, "my hero. wow, i never noticed how big and manly you are."

or you can just not work out and get yourself almost killed. it would be stupid and she might get mad at you, but it would show that she's so important to you that you're willing to get yourself killed for her.

thats terrible advice, dont listen to me. it would be very stupid. but very romantic

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Yes. Yes it was :D

Don't worry about me getting hurt though. I'm the dork at my school, but nobody's ever seen me fight. That's for a reason. I'm proficient in Judo, Krav Maga, and I know elements of Muay Thai and Wing Chun. All these foreign words basically mean I know how to throw down :D. The point is I never "abuse my powers" simply because it wouldn't be right, and I don't want to get in trouble. The only way you could get me to fight would be if you physically started hurting me or someone I know. I'm not arrogant about it or anything; I know that this guy would give me a run for my money. But if he hurt me or her in any way... I'll open up SEVERAL cans of whoop-ass on his... ass?

:D

[Smeller]

I agreee with mynameisjane even if you aint gonna fight him just face him if he beats the shitload outta ya take it she might think its stupid (which it is) but its noble and sweet...eh.. but yea show him what martial arts can do when you push a man to far HAH

[ThatCanadianGuy]

If he DOES push me, then I intend to :D

It's about time I tested myself against someone other than a sparring partner; that isn't trying to hurt me :D

[Maverick]

Life isn't a fairy tale people. Let's get back to reality. You're getting way ahead of yourself. It's ok to dream and want, but don't be unrealistic. You don't need to be a macho knight and shinning armor. She will more than likely be upset her would-be ex-boyfriend and her friend are fighting and would make things worst than better.

[byee]

I'm not sure I agree with some of the harshness expressed here. If we all had the ability to see things clearly and respond absolutley correctly not only wouldn't there be a need for websites like this, I doubt we'd be human, either. Falliability is, alas, a human weakness. Patience and compassion are virtues.

Okay, onto your dilemma. The issue as i see it, if i were to play psychotherapist for a moment or two, isn't so much what you should do (answer here is 'nothing', unfortunately), or what the chances are of her going out with you, but rather what her choice to date (long term, no less) an abusive guy says about her needs, and your ability to ever meet them.

People who stay with abusive/neglectful people aren't all too well. Something in their lives not only prevents them from saying 'adios', but actually finds this sort of wacky stuff comforting. You, on the other hand, are clearly a nice guy who would probably love her and attend to her in very warm (and normal!) ways. Since this isn't what's attractive to her, she therefore would not be able to tolerate you and all that good stuff you'd give her. See? Even if she were available, chances are it wouldn't work out.

[ThatCanadianGuy]

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

That last post was great Sam, alotta effort. But it's a good thing that you might be wrong this time:D

Things are going much better today to say the least. She stares at me and smiles, and when I compliment that great smile of hers (:wub:) she blushes and turns away. As I've said, I told her how I feel, and she was actually pretty happy to hear it. She won't stop hanging around me now, and instead of ME catching up to talk to her... she comes to me :D

And another thing.... she always changes the subject now when I talk about her boyfriend... like she doesn't want to say a thing about him. She talks bunches about me though :D

YIPPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! :wub:

[Maverick]

I'm not sure I agree with some of the harshness expressed here. If we all had the ability to see things clearly and respond absolutley correctly not only wouldn't there be a need for websites like this, I doubt we'd be human, either. Falliability is, alas, a human weakness. Patience and compassion are virtues.
I've reviewed this thread and no one here has made that assumption or even implied that.

And CanadianGuy is she planning on breaking up with her boyfriend? She can't be with him and you at the same time.

[AutumnDae]

She probably doesn't want to talk about her boyfriend because she doesn't want to make you feel bad.

Although, I could be wrong. Maybe she does really like you. i know i have done that in the past.

[mynameisjane]

awww! i'm so happy for you!