I don't know if I can keep it up

[Megson]

I made it through the holidays without cutting. I'm over 80 days clean now, and it feels good. I'm proud of myself for making it so long.

Lately, though, I've been thinking about it A LOT. I find other outlets besides actually cutting, but I don't know if those outlets will last. I'm going back to school on Monday, and I'm afraid that the stress will be too much for me to handle... I don't want to throw away 80 days of resisting in a moment of weakness.

To be honest, there's still a part of me that still DOESN'T want to quit. But the feeling of horrible guilt and regret after a relapse is something I don't want to experience, especially not after 80 days.

I don't know what to do. I set a goal for myself, "Try to last til Christmas. Try to last til New Years. Try to last til the concert you've been looking forward to." Now I have nothing to strive for. I have no more goals, nothing left to look forward to. How am I supposed to stay SH free now?

[ackmedsgirl666]

maybe consider seeking some professional help?
im not sure what more i can tell you.... thats probably the best solution for you.
if you want im always here to talk if you need anything im like online 24/7

[Noirtier]

First, let me say congrats on making it 80 days, that's really an accomplishment and I think it's really amazing! Keep doing what you've been doing, write, draw, do art, talk to friends. Get your emotions out in healthy ways. I know there's still a part that doesn't want to quit--there's still a part of me that doesn't want to quit. But you have to suppress that part of you, conquer that part of you. You've done so well, keep going! I know you can make it even further! If you've achieved one goal, make another. Maybe the next goal is "Make it to 100 days" or something. After that maybe it's "Make it through the schoolyear" or "Make it through the next quarter" or something. Don't stop distracting yourself or making goals for yourself if that's what's been working. I believe in you, and if you ever need to talk we're always here to help and support you! :hug3:

[AkuRokuStalker]

I've been there it is hard it consumes every thought. It is all you can think about at times. that is when you grab your headphones or a pencil or a computer.... find something to do that does not allow you to think.