Dealing with Miscarraige.

[VMask]

TITLE MISSPELLED -.-

Hey /VT/,

I literally never thought I'd log on this website or ever post in this section because truthfully I used to think people were weak seeking comfort in people they didn't know, but I've realized people whom we do not know actually give the best advice as they have no reason to lie to you, nor sugar-coat anything. I feel a d*ck for judging people, but on to this thread.

Recently I lost my baby. I'm a male, but I looked forward to it from the beginning in fact I was more happy than the mother to the baby. I gave up a lot of personal luxuries for the baby, the day I found out I was set out to be a father was the day I purchased numerous baby toys from Ebay.

I've always lived by a principle that if you wallow in sadness then you never progress in life and I don't break my philosophy I've set for myself, hence I didn't cry when my girlfriend broke the news to me, in fact I just consoled her.

However, I feel shit for not showing emotion towards the matter, I'm broken the most about this but my girlfriend shows more emotion than me. I told her why and I'm not posting here for me, I'm posting for her.

I need advice, Lads or Lass - How can I give her comfort, and help her heal in the weirdest way I can say it.

She already wishes to try for another baby, however I fear too much that the same situation will reoccur and I also want for her to finish school (I'm almost 16, she's almost 15)

Cheers for your help /VT/ (Sorry for the 4Chan based sh*t)

[ackmedsgirl666]

well first off dont try and make a new baby right away
her body needs time to heal....
also in order to prepare for a baby she would need proper medications and be eating properly and also giving up habits such as smoking... drinking drugs etc(not saying she does those things) miscarriages arent easy i have had 2 this past year myself... and i felt terrible.. i hated myself in every way.. and i blamed myself every night.for nowyou just need to show her your there for her and nothing can hurt her and that u will support her no matter what the circumstances. ust keep an eye on her.. if shes really distraught about it perhaps she should seek councelling.. and when you guys are fully ready for another baby make sure she goes to the doctors and get proper medical attention and stuff. unfortunately we cannot control if a baby is miscarried or not.. it all depends on the environment and your girlfriends body. how far along was she? IF SHE WAS FAR SHE NEEDS to see a doctor for follow up.
i am really sorry for your and her loss :(

[VMask]

Thanks for your reply, and she was around 10 weeks she went directly to the hospital after bleeding and they said they'll be in contact. She quit smoking when she met me, she didn't drink and I cooked literally all my weird healthy foods for her since I'm a part-time vegetarian.

I appreciate your 'sorry' I'm also sorry that you lost your babies too. It's horrible when I think of the life my baby could've had. I also will miss the times cuddling in bed holding her stomach but life's a bitch I guess :3.

[ackmedsgirl666]

yes things happen and like i said we cant help what happens in life
i just hope shes ok and can cope....
was she bleeding heavily if i may ask?
if she was just spotting then thats normal but if she was heavily bleeding as if on her period it doesnt nessesarily mean miscarriage it could just mean something is wrong with the little one. and she needs to immediately get checked out

[VMask]

It's 100%, when had severe cramps which she was getting checked out - Then she went home one night and had severe bleeding and she felt something pass through her, I don't know what that was. She went to the hospital straight away to get a scan, they couldn't see anything she's now on a heavy period.

[ackmedsgirl666]

awe sorry to hear. then yup that sounds like a miscarriage
i am very sorry about your guys' loss. i wish there was some way i could help you
but then again it cant be controlled. i think you guys need to wait for quite some time
maybe a couple years. how old are you guys anyways?