I would be suicidal, if I could bring myself to do it.

[CharlieFinley]

I'm fully convinced that this is just a temporary thing, but right now, my life is upside-down. My faith has evaporated. I still want to believe in God, but the apologetics that convinced me now no longer have the same impact. I once heard something called the "argument from meaning," which basically stated that life only truly has meaning if a mechanism exists to preserve our souls after the death of the body, and that therefore we should proceed as if God's existence was fact. That argument has the opposite effect on me: I now feel that life is very probably meaningless. The only reason I have not killed myself is that it would upset my parents, and that if there is a God, I will very likely be sent to hell while they would remain in Heaven. I find it very likely that when I eventually lose both of my parents, I will become suicidal.

[Teen Titan]

Its seems your main issue is your loss in faith, im not religious myself so i cant help you there. But im sure you could talk to your parents or vicker about it, .You dont have to mention about your thoughts on suicid. I dont think it's a big concern at the moment. If it gets worse then tell someone.

Hope that helped

[CharlieFinley]

It didn't bring me much closure, but the fact that you took the time to try to help me means a lot. Thank you.

[ackmedsgirl666]

i am very sorry that you feel this way.
i am in the same position.. debating on whether my faith in god is real or if if its all in my head but with alot of guided help i have truly found him and now i am thankful. you just have to find him.. tell him your struggling and that you need help...
im glad to hear you do not want to commit suicide as you know the impact it would have on people.... you wouldnt nessesarily go to help however.... because god helps those who commit selfish acts, i am sure if you continue and he sees you struggling he will help you find your way and make things better for you.. just continue believing in whatever you choose and eventually you will find the right path

[Lost in the Echo]

Yeah, I kinda feel the same way.
I'd like to believe in god, but i'm just not sure if I do anymore.
None of us truly know if there is a greater purpose in life, or if there is a higher power.
We just have to accept the fact we don't have all of the answers to life's questions.

You can't really control faith, since faith is an emotion, and emotions are uncontrollable.
Just focus on things in life that you can control, like being a good person, and trying to improve your life.

One more thing: Please don't kill yourself, if you're feeling depressed, you can talk to me, or anyone on VT.
You're a highly intelligent person, and appear to be a pretty good guy as well. :)

[CharlieFinley]

i am very sorry that you feel this way.
i am in the same position.. debating on whether my faith in god is real or if if its all in my head but with alot of guided help i have truly found him and now i am thankful. you just have to find him.. tell him your struggling and that you need help...
im glad to hear you do not want to commit suicide as you know the impact it would have on people.... you wouldnt nessesarily go to help however.... because god helps those who commit selfish acts, i am sure if you continue and he sees you struggling he will help you find your way and make things better for you.. just continue believing in whatever you choose and eventually you will find the right pathThank you. How did you find Him?

Yeah, I kinda feel the same way.
I'd like to believe in god, but i'm just not sure if I do anymore.
None of us truly know if there is a greater purpose in life, or if there is a higher power.
We just have to accept the fact we don't have all of the answers to life's questions.

You can't really control faith, since faith is an emotion, and emotions are uncontrollable.
Just focus on things in life that you can control, like being a good person, and trying to improve your life.

One more thing: Please don't kill yourself, if you're feeling depressed, you can talk to me, or anyone on VT.
You're a highly intelligent person, and appear to be a pretty good guy as well. :)

Thank you. That means a lot to me.

[ackmedsgirl666]

well actually i started praying.. and my prayers were answered
god sent me an angel. well sort of
he was a deacon at my daddys church.. and i cried to god asking for answers
why does my dad hate me.. how can i make things better
so i decided to email this guy from the church i went to... and he asnwered me
we met up for a coffee and he shared so much with me
he told me how much god loves me and how i should cherish him
along the way i have had prayers answered..... i prayed for my nanny to get better
and she did for a while... i pray for my moms depression to go away but well thats taking some time.. truth is i can feel him in this room helping me write this
i love my saviour and there is nobody better for me

[AuthorX303720]

Trust me *Raises Hand* I am on the same boat. I lost a set of grandparents (the last one died this summer) and I have been sucidal, but I have not been "brave" enough to commit it. It feels more comfronting that there is someone out there that is in the same boat as me. I have these episodes where: ohhh there is no god. But there is. I almost died over the summer when I feel off a drop off in a rock formation called the "Crevices" but for some odd reason I landed on my feet (spraining my ankles and almost breaking my knees) but I felt something grab on to me..... like an angel it smelled like roses (no flowers grew there) and I later came to the conclusion that my guardian angel is St. Padre Pio, my patron saint (look him up, he bleed for 35-50 years and his blood smelled like roses)saved me. But god does exist because he provides miracles like my life being saved or a guy at my church catching mengitis, he survived (even though the doctors said it would be highly unlikely and said that he would be a vegtable when he recovered which he did not) but you need to believe. If you need any helpor you need any religous help. I am here. Have a nice day -Sid

[BlackieChan21E]

i understand. i had a major strain on my faith last year that resulted in me cutting myself off from emotions, to try to stay "holy" and "favorable" in God's sight. Also when i was younger i tried to kill myself aot. But ultimately I stoped trying because I realized i was always to much of a B**** to take the pain of actually doing it. But you better than I was, because you actually care about hurting your parents. When i used to try i didn't. Sure when i think about it now it comes up... after my remembering im to much of a B****. But you its there now. BUt you say you might be after they die. But hopefully thats a while from now. Hopefuly by then you can meet someone else special you want to live for. Then end up having children and you stay strong and live for them. Hope this helped.

[unusedaccount]

I'm fully convinced that this is just a temporary thing, but right now, my life is upside-down. My faith has evaporated. I still want to believe in God, but the apologetics that convinced me now no longer have the same impact. I once heard something called the "argument from meaning," which basically stated that life only truly has meaning if a mechanism exists to preserve our souls after the death of the body, and that therefore we should proceed as if God's existence was fact. That argument has the opposite effect on me: I now feel that life is very probably meaningless. The only reason I have not killed myself is that it would upset my parents, and that if there is a God, I will very likely be sent to hell while they would remain in Heaven. I find it very likely that when I eventually lose both of my parents, I will become suicidal.

Charlie, your going through a rough patch, and I can't pretend to know what your going through. But committing suicide isn't about you, and if you did, it wouldn't be about you either, it would be about the people you leave behind, its a selfish act. Confide in someone you trust and speak to them about the issues your facing, whether its a friend, a school counselor, a teacher or your parents, stop dealing with it alone and get some help. :)

[Guillermo]

I used to be on the same boat as you, Chuck. But I'm no longer suicidal nor religious, really. Heh, I've been thinking about maybe subscribing to the Buddhists faith and ideals, but I'm not sure yet. But I still have major waves of depression that come and go. I've actually heard a very good point similar to yours, though. It went something like this:

"I'd rather live my life falsely believing that there is a god rather than not believing in one at all and going to Hell."

But then again, there was another good point from this book I read called The Glass Castle:

Brian told Mom we needed to keep Maureen away from those nutty Pentecostals, but Mom said we all came to religion in our own individual ways and we each need to respect the religious practices of others, seeing as it was up to every human being to find his or her own way to heaven.

The part in bold can also be interpreted as 'non-religious beliefs' and 'non religious practices'. The heaven part can still be sort of symbolic because it shows that we all find our own ways in life to get wherever we think we need to go, whether we believe in heaven, go to heaven, etc. Because it's still about finding your own way. It's your life. It's your journey. Honestly, no one can tell you what to believe in. Yeah, they can influence you. But it's ultimately up to you.

I know it's very hard to deal with this. Both of my parents are highly faithful and want everyone in the family to go to heaven - including me, obviously. It used to kill me inside to think that I wasn't good enough for them or that I wouldn't join them in heaven when I questioned my faith, at the time. But overall, I honestly got over it. Because think about it - what puts the Christian faith over Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu faith? Nothing. What puts Lutheranism over Catholicism? Nothing. Or how about being Christian versus being non-religious/atheist? Nothing. It's just a journey to find out who you are and what you believe in. That's the way I see it. I hope that you find your way and don't harm yourself in the process, because you're a really brill philosopher (as I've seen in the debate forum), and it'd be a shame to lose one.