Boundaries

[Rough Rider]

BF: "Kissing you at the baseball game the making out Friday and the kissing Saturday that one time"
mE: "it's all fine, hon. Why do you feel guilty?"
BF:"I feel like I stole something from you"
me:"i willingly gave it"
bf: "U sure I didn't charm u into it"
me:"im sure
bf:"But the whole nine yards thing is going to have to wait true love waits meaning not till marriage
Really, U sure u didn't just doit cause I wanted a kiss
Love waits
I'm glad u made that promise with panda I'm making one with you right now I promise that until marriage I will not have sex with you and give you full right to slap me If I try to"
(Sorry for bad grammar, this came from fb message)

My point being...sex should wait until marriage. My best friend and I made a promise and we both wear promise rings, we promised each other no sex until marriage. But because I'm no longer a virgin, I promised" No more sex until wedlock". So now me and my current bf were talking about boundaries. These are important. My ex fiance Alex and I only dated 3 weeks before we had intercourse (pretty slutty, i know.) and it all broke down. He moved, I moved on.
As you all know...sex leads to pregnancy and sometimes STD...that's where boundaries come in.
Sex doesn't magically improve a relationship...sometimes it can break it.
Doing it with the one you love is amazing...but doing it with your soul mate is even more amazing. With others it's just sex. But how about making love? From the moment you say "I do" to the moment you have intercourse...then 9 months later...you have baby girl. Have you ever seen something so small and so delicate? I doubt it. Something you could love unconditionally...So think...is it sex or making love?

[ReginaGeorge]

If this is all so scared and and special, why did you already have sex? Just because it broke up your relationship, didn't mean that was the cause. Sex is a small part of a relationship, sex didn't break anything unless something was wrong in your minds or heart first. Sex is an expression of love and a little piece of paper saying you own half his stuff doesn't automatically make it love, that paper doesn't represent your love to each other, it shows your love to other people, makes it legally recognizable. What represents your love, is your LOVE, not marriage, and not sex. Marriage and sex are a part of love, not the whole deal. The goal of a relationship isn't sex, and isn't marriage, it's love, it's happiness, and sex before or after doesn't change it. Also making love, isn't just making babies, and you don't need to make a baby to make love, because what about times that it won't conceive a baby? Does that mean it's just sex? Sex doesn't always equal a baby, there is more to it than that.

That's my two cents.

Edit: Also by your logic same-sex couples can't make love because they can't conceive children.

[workingatperfect]

If this is all so scared and and special, why did you already have sex? Just because it broke up your relationship, didn't mean that was the cause. Sex is a small part of a relationship, sex didn't break anything unless something was wrong in your minds or heart first. Sex is an expression of love and a little piece of paper saying you own half his stuff doesn't automatically make it love, that paper doesn't represent your love to each other, it shows your love to other people, makes it legally recognizable. What represents your love, is your LOVE, not marriage, and not sex. Marriage and sex are a part of love, not the whole deal. The goal of a relationship isn't sex, and isn't marriage, it's love, it's happiness, and sex before or after doesn't change it. Also making love, isn't just making babies, and you don't need to make a baby to make love, because what about times that it won't conceive a baby? Does that mean it's just sex? Sex doesn't always equal a baby, there is more to it than that.

That's my two cents.

Basically my two.. too... Well said.

I don't think sex has to wait until you're married because you don't have to be married to someone to love them. I do like the idea of making love, but I don't need to be married to make love, and a baby isn't going to result from it every time. Making love is basically sharing a special part of you with the person you love (and not just your body, it's an emotional thing as well) so I don't think it needs to wait until you make the ultimate commitment, I think it's whenever you're ready to share that part of you with the one you love.

[FreeFall]

I made love with my boyfriend 3 weeks into dating him. He and I are heading into being together almost 2 years. You're a bit better than me, at least you were engaged with the guy. So no, it wasn't slutty in my opinion.
People can have sex on the first date, heck even before they begin dating, and die together at the old age of 97.
People can have sex 9 hours after they get married, and divorce 2 months in.

You have sex or make love because you want to, because it feels right to you, because you feel that person deserves and is a part of you most vulnerable and intimate self. Some people feel that time is once they're married, or after they're married, or before.
It's whatever floats your boat.
Babies and STD are sometimes the outcome of sex but not the be all part. STDs risk can be significantly reduce if you take proper precautions. Baby risks can also be reduced but will never be 0, so hope luck is on your side like the women who had IUDs thought.
True loves comes whenever it comes, sometimes you'd better hope you know you're with your true love before marriage. Save yourself the head ache of finding out you do not love your husband, you're growing to resent your husband and now need to divorce.

I'm only wondering why that promise to wait until wedlock...still involved your best friend. I know you extended in to him but...it's like your friend is a part of your relationship because of your promise, shouldn't that decision really only be made between those involved with each other and in love and not have panda in the loop?