Why can I not get over him?

[Mysterious Skin]

Removed

[Rough Rider]

If you loved him, you're not going ever going to get over him. Sure, the pain will pass. I can't give you a direct reason, but some part of your heart and mind still wishes that he would return any feelings that you had/have for him.

[Noirtier]

So I dated a guy about a year back. He then found out he was moving away and we broke up to save any heartbreak later. I haven't talked to him in a very long time and I have started seeing another guy and we''re happy. About two weeks ago my parents announced we were going on holiday to where he moved to. Instantly I wanted to see him and tell him how much I miss him and how I still love him.. I thought I was totally over him and I know he doesn't love me anymore ( not sure if he ever did). Yet I cannot stop thinking about him. Why is this? I'm stuck now and I cannot be happy in my current relationship because of my constant thoughts of him. Any help is greatly appreciated.

I don't think it's so much that you're not over him, because you were able to forget about him and be happy in your current relationship. It appears to me to be more, well, brought on by going to the place he moved. Once he's back in your mind, the "What Ifs" start to come into play. You wonder what would have happened if he hadn't moved, what if you were still together, etc. I know you say you loved him, but try to focus on your current relationship. Keep your mind off of the other guy, distract yourself by reading, writing, listening to music, watching tv, etc. Keep your mind busy. And, when you do go on holiday, don't meet up with him, because that will only make things worse hun. And you yourself said you don't know if he ever even loved you. So is it really worth it to keep worrying about it? Focus on your boyfriend you have now hun. He cares about you and loves you, and he's happy with you. Talk to him while you're gone, text him/call him, etc. So that he's the one on your mind, not your ex. I know it's hard, but I think that once you're done being on holiday, he'll begin to fade from your mind again, I think it was just it being brought back to the surface that made this happen again. I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever need anything we're all here to help and support you!

[FreeFall]

Dump your current boyfriend. He deserves someone that can give themselves to him and not only have partial happiness because the other part is stuck on another far away. He needs a girl that's isn't 50% with him, 50% in love with another boy. Wait until you have your whole heart back before you get into another relationship.

It's possible you never got the closure you wanted. It's possible you're filled with, those what if questions. "What if he hadn't moved? We'd still be together? Would we be so happy?" More so that you two didn't even end on bad terms, it was more because you had to. But, you've got to get over them.
You can say all you want but time has passed for him as well. He could be with another girl, he may be with a guy. A year is a long time, especially when you're young. Just because you feel like this, doesn't mean he does, at least you acknowledge that.

One way to finally move on is this, ask yourself this. What do you hope to accomplish by seeing him anyways and spilling your heart out? What are you looking out of confessing? Making him feel bad for moving away far enough that you two had to break up? A long distance relationship for your two to stress over? Make him think about you, why you said that and always have you in a part of his future relationships? What are you hoping for saying "I love you and I miss you" to do? When you sat that down and mapped out your thoughts and think rationally, you'll see.

When you go there, do not seek him out. Just go there, enjoy vacation, enjoy yourself and go back home when it's time. You can be proud and say I didn't crawl around searching for him and didn't make a fool of myself. Another thing, do you know he still lives there? How sad would it be to search for him only to learn he's moved again to another place? Don't spend your vacation like that, just enjoy you!

[ackmedsgirl666]

you cant love 2 people
your heart can only truly be tied to one
trust me i have learned the hard way.... i was inlove with my ex and my current
but i eventually got past my ex..
how: i took advice from good friends and family and they helped me realize how much better off i am without him... sure it hurts i know the feeling i went through it but if hes over you then leave him in that state, hes moved on with his life and you should too. and perhaps call it off with this current guy to save him the heartbreak. just explain to him that your not stable enough to be in a relationship right now and you think its better you be friends.... hopefully not being in a relattionship will help you gather your throughts better and decide what you want in life.