I have had am epiphany...

[booboo22]

After much deep thinking after my rant a couple days ago, I have come to a realization…

Most everything i have ever done, by way of what decisions i make and what clothes i wear, etc, has been to do what others, mainly my parents would think is the proper thing to do. Based off of their teachings, which are old fashioned to say the least, i have acted in ways that make them happy, but rarely my self. In the society i grew up in, i always felt oppressed and not able to express my self in the ways I wanted to. My parents always made me dress a certain way, keep my hair cut in a certain way and more or less dictated everything i did.

I am turning 19 on thursday and I have just had enough trying to impress people whom I really want nothing todo with. At this time in my life, I want to be able to experience new things, do the things that I have wanted to do but my parents don't approve of…

In the past year I made $5000 working part time as a server. I am responsible and have never done anything to make my parents think otherwise. But i have always lived in a home where the body is something to be ashamed of, tattoos are dirty and gross, piercings and jewelry on guys are silly and "gay." I am just sick of it…

I have wanted a tattoo since i was 12, i have wanted my ear pierced since i was 8, I like necklaces and want to wear some other than a silver cross on a silver chain. I am just ready to be my own person and anyone who thinks I am somehow stupid with my tattoo and eating can just say good bye to me and my 3.0GPA…

The reasons I have never done anything like a piercing or tattoo in the past is that my parents don't approve and that they basically disown me, well I am living on my own and know how to handle my self in the world… My only concern is that they WILL disown me…

This is where my epiphany goes fuzzy, I want my parents to know that I do love them but I am NOT them and they have to allow me to be my own person. But they pay for college, but in 2013 i will only be at my parents house for approximately 2 weeks… The rest of the time I will be at college or working…

I want them to see me as a responsible INDIVIDUAL, but I still want to be MYSELF as the same time, unfortunately it doesn't seem like the two can be the same thing.

[FreeFall]

In their house, you have to follow their rules. It's courtesy, they're allowing you to live there now (being 19 they aren't legally required). So don't go in there full of what you know they will hate, that will seem like teenage rebellion spite. If you live the vast majority of your time away from home, you're free to get done whatever you want.

Get pierced, get inked. But when you walk onto their property, cover it and take out the piercings (use tape if the holes are fresh). If they squawk at you, just raise your hands and say the piercings aren't in and the ink can't be seen. You're abiding by them in a loophole.

If they happen to disown you, that's their problem. You're not responsible for them. Children are not responsible for their parent. You're an adult and if you do move out and get all you wanted, and they freak, that's their problem. They can't rationalize that their legal aged offspring is allowed to do what he wants and doesn't have to abide by their rules anymore? Their problem. They want to try and "punish" you by disowning you, their problem, and just crazy and cruel. They don't want to accept that you're an adult and this is your life and just ignore all the good boy things you are? Their problem.

Here's the thing. When you learn your parents suck, that the people you grew up under and loved and thought were perfect, are actually the opposite. It hurts. You grieve that life you missed, you try to rationalize it, you try to see if you can make it better, if you can really have that happy life. But you can't rationalize crazy, narcissists, sociopaths and control freaks. You just can't, you'll get nowhere and nothing but misery. That's what we call the cut off. You cut out those who are unhealthy for you, who are "toxic". You pick them out of your life in order for you to have some sanity, security and happiness. Parents are still people. Golden rule, if you wouldn't let a stranger treat you so vile, then family has no right to treat you that way.