Fallen Angels
December 29th, 2012, 01:54 AM
I used to cut myself but have stopped. I still don't trust my judgement though. My mind is a very scary thing and hurts me sometimes.
I'm skinny, but sometimes I think I'm starting to gain weight so I think I could lose a couple pounds (typically bloating cuz it goes away later) I do a bit of exercising when I feel like this. Not a lot though cuz my body isn't used to exercising :P Sometimes, I won't eat when I'm hungry. I'll wait to eat. So, I can feel the hunger. Sometimes I like the feeling of hunger. Perhaps a way of self harming? (not sure if that's it just throwing it out there) Other times I'll feel hungry, then not hungry. Both at the same time.
A few times in the past I've felt a deep pit in my stomach. A very strong hunger. So much it hurts. But, it's not for food. It often feels like I haven't eaten anything and feel the hunger. But, my body doesn't want food. It happens more often now but not as strong as before.
I have bad depression and have been more stressed lately if that helps. I can't get professional help but if I have a problem I could try to fix it myself. Like with cutting. What do you guys think?
Today, was very stressful... broke down into tears in the office :S Today, I've eaten 2 things I can't remember the name... they're slightly smaller than tacos o_O and some chips and dip. I can't remember the past few days how much I've eaten. If I had to guess I would say 2-3 meals a day with tiny snacks. Today was very little food though. I feel kinda dizzy(but that happens all the for unknown reason. maybe iron deficient or something idk), tired, weak, hungry and not hungry at the same time.
I'm skinny, but sometimes I think I'm starting to gain weight so I think I could lose a couple pounds (typically bloating cuz it goes away later) I do a bit of exercising when I feel like this. Not a lot though cuz my body isn't used to exercising :P Sometimes, I won't eat when I'm hungry. I'll wait to eat. So, I can feel the hunger. Sometimes I like the feeling of hunger. Perhaps a way of self harming? (not sure if that's it just throwing it out there) Other times I'll feel hungry, then not hungry. Both at the same time.
A few times in the past I've felt a deep pit in my stomach. A very strong hunger. So much it hurts. But, it's not for food. It often feels like I haven't eaten anything and feel the hunger. But, my body doesn't want food. It happens more often now but not as strong as before.
I have bad depression and have been more stressed lately if that helps. I can't get professional help but if I have a problem I could try to fix it myself. Like with cutting. What do you guys think?
Today, was very stressful... broke down into tears in the office :S Today, I've eaten 2 things I can't remember the name... they're slightly smaller than tacos o_O and some chips and dip. I can't remember the past few days how much I've eaten. If I had to guess I would say 2-3 meals a day with tiny snacks. Today was very little food though. I feel kinda dizzy(but that happens all the for unknown reason. maybe iron deficient or something idk), tired, weak, hungry and not hungry at the same time.