Lonelyness and Getting a Girlfriend

[isaiah1038]

I have been feeling depressed and lonely for a few months now. Let me explain why:
There was a girl I had a HUGE crush on (my first crush), and after a few weeks of argueing with myself, I told her how I felt. [I seriously cannot express how much I liked her]. She said she like me too. So, after we 'flirted?' for a while, I asked her if I was her boyfriend. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship. I said AND I QUOTE, "That's okay, I will wait. That's how much I love you." So, three days later, she told me she thought she liked me, but she realized that she didn't. Hence my four-month depression that I'm in so far.

So, now I think that I need a healthy relationship so that I won't be sad and depressed. And, about a week ago, I started thinking about asking out a friend of mine. She is really nice, sweet on the outside and a badass on the inside, she is really beautiful, has a GREAT body [I'm not trying to sound like a douchebag PIG (cause I'm not), just stating the facts], loves anime just like me, and I'm 40-60% sure that she was flirting with me a week ago.

THE PROBLEM:
Since my first crush rejected me like that, my confidence level has gone from 90/100 to -99999999/100. I don't feel like I can do anything, and I SERIOUSLY think I have developed gynophobia (fear of women), because every time a girl touches me now, it SCARES the SHIT out of me, and I quite literally crawl out of my skin. [NOTE: this did not happen before I asked out my first crush]

I'm scared shitless right now, and don't want to be alone anymore! WTF DO I DO?

[Noirtier]

What do you do? You calm down, and listen up. Look, bud, I know what it's like to get rejected by someone you like. Even, by someone you like a lot. To be depressed and in despair and lonely for four months though, just because a girl who you weren't even dating yet rejected you, I'm sorry to be blunt but that's a bit overkill. Yes, it's ok to be upset if you get rejected, but honestly it's not a normal thing to be that upset, that it consumes your life for months on end, that it inhibits you from functioning normally. That's not healthy man. And honestly, I think she was trying to drop you a hint when she said she wasn't ready for a relationship. When you said "I'll wait for you, that's how much I love you" to her, you may have thought it was sweet, but honestly it looks like it made her uncomfortable. In my opinion, I don't know if you're ready for a relationship yourself. What're you going to do if this girl says no too? You can't live your life like this, affected so deeply just because someone says "No, I won't go out with you." That's something that you need to pick yourself up from and dust yourself off and keep trucking forward, not wallow in despair. If the only reason you want a relationship with your friend is so you won't be "lonely and depressed," then don't even bother going out with her. Because if you don't really like her, then really you're just using her to make yourself feel better. And that's not fair to her, and it's not fair to you. I know it can be hard, but you're making it even harder by overreacting like this. You need to get back out there, and just be you. Get out of your depression because, honestly, one girl is not worth four months of time spent in a deep depression. No one is worth that just because they wouldn't go out with you. Start talking to people more, put yourself out there and hang out with people more, and don't focus on the past. I want you to do some thinking, and if you really, truly do like this other girl, then ask her on a date, like to a movie or dinner or something, and see where it leads. If you find that you don't really like her though, and just want a relationship so you're not lonely, then look for someone else, for your sake and hers.

[CharlieFinley]

You.... literally crawl out of your skin?

Okay, I have no earthly idea how old you are, but last time I consumed alcohol, I found myself flirting with a lovely girl without even realizing it... and she was flirting back.

Of course, the next day, I completely forgot about it, and didn't even talk to her again for a few weeks, so there's that.

[Steve Jobs]

It's never easy, but you should never let yourself be let down!
I certainly do regret an offer I had a little while ago and I'm in a situation (college/work) that doesn't help finding someone.

Give it some time though, maybe you need a bit of time to yourself to recollect your thoughts and re-prioritize what you're after. Get yourself out there more, get to know them before you flirt :P