Desuetude
December 28th, 2012, 01:24 PM
Well I'm writing this from nearly a year since I wrote a thread pretty similar to this. Things haven't gotten better in the past 350 odd days.
This might seem a little muddled. My parents haven't made things easier since talking to them about living arrangements. I'm now living with my dad 3 weeks then my mum 1 week. I've been coping with moving a lot better, well I've been covering my emotions up better anyway. I rarely breakdown when packing everything into a couple of bags. When my dad picks me up to take me to his while my sister stays at my mothers you could almost say I'm happy. It's still stressing me out a whole lot.
When I was younger I used to live solely with my mother and occasionally visit my dad therefore, as you'd expect, everything I own is at my mums. Living 3/4 of the time at my dads means I don't have anything I need, everything is in a certain place at the other house which is fucking inconvenient when you want to get things done. I can't move it all to dads because my room is small and storage space there is minimal. I want to be able to do something about it but the only thing I can think of is moving in with one parent full time and neither will go for that.
Their arguments and petty fights are also getting worse again. Someone enlighten me and tell me the point of a divorce if the screaming matches continue? I never really thought about it but I do resent my parents with how they left things and how they think they're doing an awesome job when really it hasn't been great. I don't know that anyone will understand but my mind is under so much right now, the burden of everything and all the thoughts in my head never leave me alone. School is getting harder, my concentration is getting a lot worse, I'm zoning out so much more than I used to that my friends are picking up on it but it's all good 'cause they just laugh it off.
I have no one to lean on anymore. The trust between my friends is gone but that's another long, drawn out story that no one wants to hear and I don't want to have to relive. The stability in my life is rocky to say the least, the teacher that approached me and told me I should see the youth worker retired at christmas and my youth worker doesn't know the half of the stuff that's going on. I really don't know where to go from here. It's been a year, it's safe to say one of the worst years of my life, nothing seems to have improved, everything has gotten worse and I see no way of moving forward in the state that I'm in. First exams coming up in January and revision is near enough impossible at the moment, my parents are going to crack down hard if I don't do well. Sorry to waste a thread but it's doing my head in -literally.
This might seem a little muddled. My parents haven't made things easier since talking to them about living arrangements. I'm now living with my dad 3 weeks then my mum 1 week. I've been coping with moving a lot better, well I've been covering my emotions up better anyway. I rarely breakdown when packing everything into a couple of bags. When my dad picks me up to take me to his while my sister stays at my mothers you could almost say I'm happy. It's still stressing me out a whole lot.
When I was younger I used to live solely with my mother and occasionally visit my dad therefore, as you'd expect, everything I own is at my mums. Living 3/4 of the time at my dads means I don't have anything I need, everything is in a certain place at the other house which is fucking inconvenient when you want to get things done. I can't move it all to dads because my room is small and storage space there is minimal. I want to be able to do something about it but the only thing I can think of is moving in with one parent full time and neither will go for that.
Their arguments and petty fights are also getting worse again. Someone enlighten me and tell me the point of a divorce if the screaming matches continue? I never really thought about it but I do resent my parents with how they left things and how they think they're doing an awesome job when really it hasn't been great. I don't know that anyone will understand but my mind is under so much right now, the burden of everything and all the thoughts in my head never leave me alone. School is getting harder, my concentration is getting a lot worse, I'm zoning out so much more than I used to that my friends are picking up on it but it's all good 'cause they just laugh it off.
I have no one to lean on anymore. The trust between my friends is gone but that's another long, drawn out story that no one wants to hear and I don't want to have to relive. The stability in my life is rocky to say the least, the teacher that approached me and told me I should see the youth worker retired at christmas and my youth worker doesn't know the half of the stuff that's going on. I really don't know where to go from here. It's been a year, it's safe to say one of the worst years of my life, nothing seems to have improved, everything has gotten worse and I see no way of moving forward in the state that I'm in. First exams coming up in January and revision is near enough impossible at the moment, my parents are going to crack down hard if I don't do well. Sorry to waste a thread but it's doing my head in -literally.