Popmike96
December 27th, 2012, 05:38 PM
I know that this is really long but please read and try to help?
Hey guys, I'm 16 and for a while I've been alone. I moved to UK and had nobody. Just over 5 months ago I found the greatest girl in the world(6 months younger than me).
Some may say that she's not exceptionally pretty nor very smart; but I guarantee You that You cannot find another person in this world that is this warm, caring and worried about everything. From the beginning it was great, we were both quite innocent. We haven't had any adventures not many bf/gf's. We have multiple shared interests and we've met eachother's families. But there is just one thing which doesn't feel right...
The furthest we've ever gone with anyone beforehand was kissing and she hadn't french-kissed before. When we got together we were so comfortable together that she initiated "moving forwards" with these things. I did not press her and I swear to God and all of my family's and everyone I ever cared for lives that I did not desire to just get in her pants. We settled that we're tired of always being single or in temporary relationships which aren't anything close to true.
But I diagress. Over time she had me feeling her ass and boobs...she initiated dry-humping, then our shirts came off and so on... We found ourselves doing this lots and both of us feel very guilty and feel that it's gone wrong. Last night my mother heard us dress back up after she'd called me and she is half-suspecting what is going on - she isn't very serious about it though.
After this we watched a movie with my family and since I didn't feel so well and I could see she didn't either(though she denied it), i suggested a walk. During the walk there was quite a bit of awkward silence(which never happened before apart from before we went out). I adressed the incident which took place earlier and she just agreed that it bothered her "just a bit" but I realised that she started clutching her hand without noticing it. After a while she was all shaking and stopped me to explain but she was very unclear... while walking I came upon a thought that I couldn't feel anything between us at that point I couldn't explain why we were so attached to eachother rationally, because of the silence; but I knew that we hadn't done anything interesting so there was nothing to talk about.
I wandered - Did we just seek emotional comfort? Just needed someone who'd be there in times of trouble? Was this all false?
When she stopped I thought she had just those thoughts. I begged her to say what she was thinking but she wouldn't. She said that they were getting worse and worse everytime. I(terrified but successfully keeping cool) told her to give it a bit of time and when she's solidified what she thinks we'll come back to it. We started walking back home and still worried I stopped and hugged her saying that "...whatever is wrong, don't worry - it will be okay...". As though a delayed response; she instanly sprung back-to-life! She pulled me in close and kissed me saying 'Thank you' then grabbed onto my arm and we went back home.
For the rest of the evening she was as cheerful as ever: She laughed and giggled at my jokes as she usually does, smiled her usual amazing smile with her sharply curved cheeks. The usual 'I Love You' was exchanged upon the goodbye kiss. She looked back twice which once again made me think that the cheerfullness was real.
Before sleep I tortured myself with thoughts....nasty thoughts; dark thoughts. I decided to sent her a text(she can't text back because her phone is broke but she can read those I send her). The text read "I really hope You're alright. I've never really been able to keep promises but I promise that I will make things better whatever that may mean. Make sure to grab lots of sleep...x".
As my eyes turned into the stones sealed in concrete I was enlightened. This girl is most special for she can listen, not just hear what I've to say - listen. I've met people who would listen to my most boring thoughts but none till the end, nor on all topics or at all times. She listens to any of my thoughts, on any topic, at any time, however she feels and whether she is busy or not.
I'd be most grateful if anyone mature enough could give me their experise or even a simple thought on this. I don't know what I am asking for but any sort of input is welcome. Whenever I tell her "I Love You" I try to say it to make it sound like I mean it - but words are nothing compared to actions. All I ask from this world is happiness...is that really so much?
Hey guys, I'm 16 and for a while I've been alone. I moved to UK and had nobody. Just over 5 months ago I found the greatest girl in the world(6 months younger than me).
Some may say that she's not exceptionally pretty nor very smart; but I guarantee You that You cannot find another person in this world that is this warm, caring and worried about everything. From the beginning it was great, we were both quite innocent. We haven't had any adventures not many bf/gf's. We have multiple shared interests and we've met eachother's families. But there is just one thing which doesn't feel right...
The furthest we've ever gone with anyone beforehand was kissing and she hadn't french-kissed before. When we got together we were so comfortable together that she initiated "moving forwards" with these things. I did not press her and I swear to God and all of my family's and everyone I ever cared for lives that I did not desire to just get in her pants. We settled that we're tired of always being single or in temporary relationships which aren't anything close to true.
But I diagress. Over time she had me feeling her ass and boobs...she initiated dry-humping, then our shirts came off and so on... We found ourselves doing this lots and both of us feel very guilty and feel that it's gone wrong. Last night my mother heard us dress back up after she'd called me and she is half-suspecting what is going on - she isn't very serious about it though.
After this we watched a movie with my family and since I didn't feel so well and I could see she didn't either(though she denied it), i suggested a walk. During the walk there was quite a bit of awkward silence(which never happened before apart from before we went out). I adressed the incident which took place earlier and she just agreed that it bothered her "just a bit" but I realised that she started clutching her hand without noticing it. After a while she was all shaking and stopped me to explain but she was very unclear... while walking I came upon a thought that I couldn't feel anything between us at that point I couldn't explain why we were so attached to eachother rationally, because of the silence; but I knew that we hadn't done anything interesting so there was nothing to talk about.
I wandered - Did we just seek emotional comfort? Just needed someone who'd be there in times of trouble? Was this all false?
When she stopped I thought she had just those thoughts. I begged her to say what she was thinking but she wouldn't. She said that they were getting worse and worse everytime. I(terrified but successfully keeping cool) told her to give it a bit of time and when she's solidified what she thinks we'll come back to it. We started walking back home and still worried I stopped and hugged her saying that "...whatever is wrong, don't worry - it will be okay...". As though a delayed response; she instanly sprung back-to-life! She pulled me in close and kissed me saying 'Thank you' then grabbed onto my arm and we went back home.
For the rest of the evening she was as cheerful as ever: She laughed and giggled at my jokes as she usually does, smiled her usual amazing smile with her sharply curved cheeks. The usual 'I Love You' was exchanged upon the goodbye kiss. She looked back twice which once again made me think that the cheerfullness was real.
Before sleep I tortured myself with thoughts....nasty thoughts; dark thoughts. I decided to sent her a text(she can't text back because her phone is broke but she can read those I send her). The text read "I really hope You're alright. I've never really been able to keep promises but I promise that I will make things better whatever that may mean. Make sure to grab lots of sleep...x".
As my eyes turned into the stones sealed in concrete I was enlightened. This girl is most special for she can listen, not just hear what I've to say - listen. I've met people who would listen to my most boring thoughts but none till the end, nor on all topics or at all times. She listens to any of my thoughts, on any topic, at any time, however she feels and whether she is busy or not.
I'd be most grateful if anyone mature enough could give me their experise or even a simple thought on this. I don't know what I am asking for but any sort of input is welcome. Whenever I tell her "I Love You" I try to say it to make it sound like I mean it - but words are nothing compared to actions. All I ask from this world is happiness...is that really so much?