Jupiter
December 27th, 2012, 12:23 AM
so basically maggie (who i have been separated from for about 5 months now) has lots of problems. don't get me wrong she's a nice nice person, and i don't like saying that she's ill, but she is. very..... very mentally ill.
i feel like i caused her stress as being her boyfriend. i feel that i take the blame for lots of her problems. for her eating disorder. for her self harm. for everything. but that's ok, because if she wants to place blame she can do it on me, and i don't really care about that. as long as she knows.
my issue is that she doesn't try to get help. she doesn't care enough about herself to get help. i totally understand what that's like, you know? to need help but not care to get it. so should i feel obligated to help her out? someone had to figuratively shove my nose in my problems like i was a dog for me to figure out that i was in the wrong and i was doing stupid shit, so should i try to help her get recovery, should i help her be happy, should i help her at all? i mean.. she broke my heart. but i got over it, right? i guess i'm just really confused and i don't know.
i feel like i caused her stress as being her boyfriend. i feel that i take the blame for lots of her problems. for her eating disorder. for her self harm. for everything. but that's ok, because if she wants to place blame she can do it on me, and i don't really care about that. as long as she knows.
my issue is that she doesn't try to get help. she doesn't care enough about herself to get help. i totally understand what that's like, you know? to need help but not care to get it. so should i feel obligated to help her out? someone had to figuratively shove my nose in my problems like i was a dog for me to figure out that i was in the wrong and i was doing stupid shit, so should i try to help her get recovery, should i help her be happy, should i help her at all? i mean.. she broke my heart. but i got over it, right? i guess i'm just really confused and i don't know.