ItzMattxD
December 25th, 2012, 03:07 AM
This is a very long story, and as a first post i wanted this to be my first. I want to use this post to explain abit of my past. And why i hope this can help others get some insight and shed some light on cutting and suicidal thoughts. Its a long story and i hope you can brace for it. Believe me, this is hard for me to tell, and i bet just as hard for someone feeling upset and dealing with alot on there plate to comprehend the effects of this lifestyle.
For many, December 25th is a time of joy, last year however, it was a nightmare for me i wish i never went through. About two weeks before i started cutting myself not to feel better but to feel worse, due to afterfeelings for a complicated friendrelationship i never really got over, i hurt myself to try and punish myself to get it out of my system. In reality this backfired massivlly and led me to feel more and more craved into masochism. To make matters worse, i was not using razor blades or anything STERILE to inflict pain, i wont go into details... but bottom line is if i didnt have my tetnis shots i would be in deep trouble. Eventually on December 25th of last year i attempted suicide. I felt i couldnt take the overwhelming anxiety of life and pain i was feeling. I wanted it over. Naturally since im writing this, i survived my attempt and was hastilly tooken to the mental ward at LIJ hospital. There i made friends and stayed relativlly unstable. It was only after 2 weeks stay there did i go back into the real world. Unready. Forced. No choice, Life, or Constant Hospitalization. I chose to move foward. Everyday i try and progress... and everyday i work closer to my goals. I take medication to help, and overtime i learned it is neccisary for me and many others to take some type of medicine to help. In my case anxiety. My anxiety is gone and i can live a happy life. Ive overcome many obstacles in my life after my hospitalization and i hope this story sheds some light on life when you feel you need to hurt to feel better.
Epilogue/Moral of the story: Dont hurt yourself, there are other ways to relieve stress and feel better. Tell someone, dont just hide it. Tell your parents, friends, relatives, school aids, teachers, ANYONE. You need to tell them whats going on and how you feel, you need to honestlly show "look, i feel bad. But i want to be happy. Help me accomplish this".
Dont hide this. Medicine helps; if you need to take medicine to relive stress, anxiety, whatever the case, Accept it. Dont fight it. Once you accept it and let it do its job, you will notice it is much easier to get along with life and find it enjoyable again.
So remember, talk it out, give new things a shot. You need to be acceptant that this isnt a good thing to do and change it. You will see very good outcomes when you give a new approach and just ask for alittle help from others.
I hope my story and advice helps atleast one...
Thankyou
Matthew
For many, December 25th is a time of joy, last year however, it was a nightmare for me i wish i never went through. About two weeks before i started cutting myself not to feel better but to feel worse, due to afterfeelings for a complicated friendrelationship i never really got over, i hurt myself to try and punish myself to get it out of my system. In reality this backfired massivlly and led me to feel more and more craved into masochism. To make matters worse, i was not using razor blades or anything STERILE to inflict pain, i wont go into details... but bottom line is if i didnt have my tetnis shots i would be in deep trouble. Eventually on December 25th of last year i attempted suicide. I felt i couldnt take the overwhelming anxiety of life and pain i was feeling. I wanted it over. Naturally since im writing this, i survived my attempt and was hastilly tooken to the mental ward at LIJ hospital. There i made friends and stayed relativlly unstable. It was only after 2 weeks stay there did i go back into the real world. Unready. Forced. No choice, Life, or Constant Hospitalization. I chose to move foward. Everyday i try and progress... and everyday i work closer to my goals. I take medication to help, and overtime i learned it is neccisary for me and many others to take some type of medicine to help. In my case anxiety. My anxiety is gone and i can live a happy life. Ive overcome many obstacles in my life after my hospitalization and i hope this story sheds some light on life when you feel you need to hurt to feel better.
Epilogue/Moral of the story: Dont hurt yourself, there are other ways to relieve stress and feel better. Tell someone, dont just hide it. Tell your parents, friends, relatives, school aids, teachers, ANYONE. You need to tell them whats going on and how you feel, you need to honestlly show "look, i feel bad. But i want to be happy. Help me accomplish this".
Dont hide this. Medicine helps; if you need to take medicine to relive stress, anxiety, whatever the case, Accept it. Dont fight it. Once you accept it and let it do its job, you will notice it is much easier to get along with life and find it enjoyable again.
So remember, talk it out, give new things a shot. You need to be acceptant that this isnt a good thing to do and change it. You will see very good outcomes when you give a new approach and just ask for alittle help from others.
I hope my story and advice helps atleast one...
Thankyou
Matthew