Depression over the holidays

[ackmedsgirl666]

So the holidays are here
It's christmas eve here in Toronto ontario and I'm so fucking depressed
I've got no friends they've all left me and disowned me
Lately all I've got is my boyfriend and Mom and sister and
It feels like I'm even losing connection with them.
Idk what to do anymore
I feel so out of it. I feel like nobodys there for me
I wish I could take back alot I did this year and then maybe I
Would still have my friends and my dad. I wanna call him
But we haven't talked in over 7 months :(
I'm pretty much all alone for the holidays
I've been on here alot complaining about my life
And all my problems and I'm sure people are getting sick of me slamming the forums with my problems
I'm just looking for solutions ones that will help me
I'm hoping 2013 will be a better year for me and that things will start out good
Me and my boyfriend will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary on the 13th of January and even though I should be happy about it I still feel touchy on the subject. People keep emailing me and messaging me about my ex boyfriend and updating me on what he's doing and where he is etc
I'm trying to move past him and get stronger but he keeps holding me back
My moms neighbors are feuding with me and make me feel worthless
I spend my days moping and doing nothing except complain
I try to cry but can't.
I should be happy right now it's Christmas eve but noooooooo
All I can think of is last Christmas eve
Picturing Cody and me and my nanny
And all these memories I look over beside me and he's not there
There another man in his place and he's not the same
CODY........ Cody's past me and I must learn to move past him
I once loved him..... Or maybe I still do
But I gotta be strong and let go :'(
He's hurting me and I'm hurting him by not letting to
This holiday season there is so much on my mind that I can't let go of


Anyways I'm sorry if I'm bringing anybody down with this posting
I just really need a smile.... A friendly gesture
Anything to brighten me up
And some helpful advice as well

[AuthorX303720]

Listen, I am literally in the same boat as you..... I am spending my first year without one of my grandparents. I am moping around because my parents want the best for me and I don't truly reconize it. I am literally ripping out my hair because of stress,depression,axienty. It is okay to cry ..... I have cryed buckets. Not knowing if someone is out there that will truly listen like my parents, my gf, and my physiologist. Right now I am just crying because you have so much problems just like me. It is finally comforting to find that someone actually has the same feelings and problems like me. Please let the bad memories go a little ways behind you, but not all the way. Or else you will suffer the same consquenes. So I try to wish you the best. But please remeber that I am there for anyone who needs to talk. You are not alone. I shall follow in the foot steps of Padre Pio. God Bless to any teen who prays or talks to Padre Pio. I am there if you need me ..... waiting for you to talk. Have a Wonderful Holiday -Sid W. St. Padre Pio. K. M. Morrison

[IVIodern]

Sorry for bumpng this kinda old topic but I feel like I am in the same situation as you, if not worse. I have no 'friends' I hang around with outside school. These times when we have no school I feel really lonely. During this past summer I spend all day, every day on my PC. I feel I have neglected my family for no reason. This has been really bad, I even went months without seeing anyone outside my home. If I didn't have my PC I would be dead already from suicide. I 'binge eat' where I would eat whatever I want whenever I want.
I literally hate myself and I feel I am a fuckup. I deserve to be dead as the world is better without me.

[MrBonjwa]

Sorry for bumpng this kinda old topic but I feel like I am in the same situation as you, if not worse. I have no 'friends' I hang around with outside school. These times when we have no school I feel really lonely. During this past summer I spend all day, every day on my PC. I feel I have neglected my family for no reason. This has been really bad, I even went months without seeing anyone outside my home. If I didn't have my PC I would be dead already from suicide. I 'binge eat' where I would eat whatever I want whenever I want.
I literally hate myself and I feel I am a fuckup. I deserve to be dead as the world is better without me.

I was in a very similar situation to you in school, i also spent all my free time on my PC :lol:

You shouldn't hate yourself, learn to love yourself and i really doubt you're a fuckup, its a little to early in your life to be saying that. As cliche as it sounds, it all gets better. You'll get through school, with or without friends (maybe they'll come later) but life after school is much different. You gotta ride it out to get to that point. Love yourself and other people will follow suit. Much love bro, keep your head up!

[IVIodern]

I so think I am a fuckup. To me, no one really cares about me. It isn't very often where me and my parents have a proper conversation. I feel like I am the person who needs to do all the physical work around here. As a round up of today, I got coal and ate dinner (even then, I ate that im my room). I cant really explain my life with text, I would actually have to talk with you to explain.
Mu parents went out of the house tonight and my sister went out too. I didn't even realise that until about 00:00 when my parents arrived home.
My sleeping is.completly fucked too. It is now 5:30am and I cant sleep. I will most likely be up the whole night. Laying in bed now, posting from my phone. May even get up and start up my PC now. Feels like insomnia to me. Never had any girlfriends, never think I will either. If I didn't have my PC I would be dead already.