Should I just give up?

[Ale J.]

There is this guy, Oliver. I met him this year in my art class and he's really sweet and funny. His friend told me he liked me a few months ago and I told his friend that I liked him too. Then, suddenly, a few weeks ago, he go a girlfriend! This girl lives two hours away. But whenever he sees me he flirts. And I mean hugging me three times, pitting his arms around me, chasing me, tickling me, poking me, walking me places.... I really like him, so I'm just not sure what to do.

I want to stop liking him but I can't. And he's constantly on my mind. Any advice?

[Noirtier]

To be honest, he doesn't sound like he's worth the time. The fact that he has a girlfriend and is still flirting with you that much, as you said, well, he sounds like a bit of a player. He knows he can get away with it because his girlfriend lives two hours away. If I were you, I would do my best to try and get over him. And you can do it, the only thing stopping you is yourself. The first thing you need to do is accept the fact that there isn't and won't be a relationship that forms between the two of you. The reason I say that is because, even if he were to get rid of his girlfriend for you, I would bet you anything that he would still flirt heavily with other girls like you've just described. And a guy who does that is someone who doesn't respect you, and that's not the kind of person anyone should be with. Relationships are built on trust and respect--take out one of those things and it will soon fall apart. I would probably try spending less time with him too, and do whatever you can to distract your mind from thinking about him. Or, if he does creep in your mind, acknowledge that it's not going to happen, and move on to thinking about something else. Watch tv, read a book, watch a movie, write, draw, do whatever to distract your mind from him. I wish you the best of luck, and even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear, I'm sorry but sometimes things need to be said.

[FreeFall]

Remind yourself you have self respect and know your self worth. And that being a possible mistress, is not either one of those things. Even more so because you are aware of his girlfriend. The role of the other woman holds nothing being shame and lust.

And think of it like this. You're not something special.
He's telling you right now, you're nothing special to him. If you were, you'd be his girlfriend. If you were, he'd have the decency to not treat you like a flirting toy. He'd show you he's loyal to his girlfriends, respects them and cares for them. All he's showing you is you're something to flirt with and his girlfriend doesn't have his respect or loyalty.
And think of it like this. You can be his girlfriend. Whether you're the first or the third one in his collection of women for the month. But that girl down the street can be his real girlfriend. The chick in the next block could be his other girlfriend. The girl in the next county over, she could be carrying his child and he may have told her they'd get married!

The guy has no respect for women, no respect for himself, no respect for his relationships, no decency, no shame, no class. Those things make my lady parts dry as a desert. Do you really want that sort of guy?

Maybe tell him to buzz off. Find something new for you to do. Games, hobbies, whatever. Get a new haircut. Buy a wig and experiment in doing hair (omg it's fun). You'll get through this, and leave the garbage in the trash.

[xXJust Jump ItXx]

Im not gonna repeat what Nortier and FreeFall said, but basically it comes down to... If you are in a relationship, dont flirt or play around with others that arent your girlfriend or boyfriend. Like you said, arm around you, poking, tickling, flirting, etc. Hugging is okay if its normal hugging though. And FreeFall said, a guy should be loyal to his girlfriend and he cant do all this stuff with other girls. I dont even freaking hug people cause I feel it going against my girlfriend. But just take in consideration what they said. And I mean it works both ways too... If you had a boyfriend and some single guy was doing those things to you, your boyfriend wouldnt be too happy.

[The Chameleon]

There is this guy, Oliver. I met him this year in my art class and he's really sweet and funny. His friend told me he liked me a few months ago and I told his friend that I liked him too. Then, suddenly, a few weeks ago, he go a girlfriend! This girl lives two hours away. But whenever he sees me he flirts. And I mean hugging me three times, pitting his arms around me, chasing me, tickling me, poking me, walking me places.... I really like him, so I'm just not sure what to do.

I want to stop liking him but I can't. And he's constantly on my mind. Any advice?

It's very possible that he likes you and he is just saying he has this girlfriend because he is nervous. If he flirts with you like you say he does he probably likes. You could do some "Detective Work" meaning you could ask questions and try to find out if he likes you without being to obvious. Good Luck

[Ale J.]

Thanks to all of you. I've been keeping this problem to
Myself for a while now and with all the points you've made, I'm going to try to get over him. Thank you :)