i need help!!!

[Magnus Bane]

Okay so I came out to my family a couple months ago as bi and now i think im gay... My mom accepts me my dad holds my sexuality against me... I want to come out on facebook but i don't know how... and to top it all off i don't know what to label my self as bi or gay... Anyone who can help me please help.:cool:

[TigerBoy]

Okay so I came out to my family a couple months ago as bi and now i think im gay... My mom accepts me my dad holds my sexuality against me... I want to come out on facebook but i don't know how... and to top it all off i don't know what to label my self as bi or gay... Anyone who can help me please help.:cool:

My Dad's somewhat the same as yours but its supposedly not my sexuality but my lack of stereotypical manly ways. The constant put-downs all add up but luckily my mum and (grown up) sister etc. are all supportive. I think some Dads will always seem to find some excuse to keep themselves 'on top' in the Alpha male stakes.

Label yourself as Conner, seems a nice name to me ;-) The sexuality labels are for other people's convenience and often as not just get used to stereotype and judge. You think you are gay right now, so right now you are 'gay'. Some people will tell you about 'phases' and such but as I've argued on here previously, the 'phases' concept is very old-school paediatrics and pushed by the religious right who hope everyone ends up as good little straights in the end. You are whatever you are. You may be feeling less towards girls simply because there are no cute girls or you may just have assumed you were straight as a lot of guys do, and discovered that really girls aren't that interesting to you.

Coming out on facebook is easy to do, but then so is jumping out of a plane. If you are prepared and confident you've taken all the right precautions then it can be very rewarding. The trick is to make sure you have all the support in place at home and at school, and that you are prepared for the possibility of negative consequences (I've personally had very few problems since I came out at 14 but there are always some idiots out there).

[ImCoolBeans]

Have you tried talking to your dad about this at all? It might actually be something he doesn't realize that he's doing. Although sexuality really shouldn't change anything, hearing that your son is not straight can be a big pill to swallow for a lot of fathers. I think you should talk to your mom about it and tell her how you feel about the way your dad is treating you because even if you don't end up talking to him about it then she most likely will -- and mothers tend to influence fathers quite a bit. I don't think he loves you any less, I think he just hasn't completely come to terms with it yet.


Label yourself as Conner, seems a nice name to me ;-) The sexuality labels are for other people's convenience and often as not just get used to stereotype and judge. You think you are gay right now, so right now you are 'gay'. Some people will tell you about 'phases' and such but as I've argued on here previously, the 'phases' concept is very old-school paediatrics and pushed by the religious right who hope everyone ends up as good little straights in the end. You are whatever you are. You may be feeling less towards girls simply because there are no cute girls or you may just have assumed you were straight as a lot of guys do, and discovered that really girls aren't that interesting to you.

Coming out on facebook is easy to do, but then so is jumping out of a plane. If you are prepared and confident you've taken all the right precautions then it can be very rewarding. The trick is to make sure you have all the support in place at home and at school, and that you are prepared for the possibility of negative consequences (I've personally had very few problems since I came out at 14 but there are always some idiots out there).

Olly is quite right about both of these things. Don't feel pressured or expected to slap a label onto yourself so quickly. You don't need to place yourself into any kind of label or stereotype that you are not comfortable with -- after all it is up to you to figure out who you are. I'm not saying that you can't, should or shouldn't label yourself -- I've labeled myself as gay -- but you don't need to rush into anything that you aren't 100% sure of and comfortable with.

Coming out on Facebook seems to be a pretty popular way to go about it today. I know a few people who have done it and have had a lot of success with it. They had come out to their family and friends quite some time prior to coming out to the general public of Facebook and had already established support from them. I have come out to all of my close friends and a good portion of my family now and am fairly ready to take the last step -- which for me would be coming out on Facebook (most likely). I suggest that you make sure you are completely comfortable with your sexuality and are totally ready to let everybody know before you go through with Facebook because once it's up, it's up. Take a little time to think it through; I wish you the best of luck :)

[Jakeisamazing]

I know it's hard coming out. Right now, if you really wanna label yourself, go with what you think you are for the moment, and change it later if it's not right. As for the dad thing, I'm sorry about that. I'm too afraid to come out because of family. Just ignore it I guess, I wish I could help more there. And finally, about the Facebook thing, I don't see why you need to. But if you feel like you need to, just come out. If anyone says anything, the just ignore them because they are ignorant.

[Magnus Bane]

thanks everyone im going to consider this for awhile and ill let you know when i make up my mind about things

[Straya]

I think you should have a talk with your dad to find out why he is acting this way but as to coming out you should only do what you are comfortable doing as others have said your sexuality is yours and only people you want to know need to know