Should I say something?

[bmxkid313]

This starts out like most posts on the site; I liked this girl from school. We became good friends and I told her I liked her. She wanted to only be friends and promised things would not change. The next day or two was weird but things returned to normal. Normal being lots of texting, and hellos in the halls. We now talk a lot more in person and not as much texting, I like this better and I can tell it has made us better friends.

In the last two weeks or so she became friends with another kid. He is one of those people who are great to be around, but always has a girlfriend and treats them wrong.

Today in study hall they looked pretty flirtatious and I think they might get together over time. I would be happy, as long as she is happy. I am worried that he will take advantage of her like he has done to so many other girls.

Should I tell her that he might not be the best for a relationship? I am worried she might think I am just jealous. So, should I advise her against it? Or watch and risk seeing her get hurt? I don't even know if they have anything between them or not, and don't want to look like an idiot if I say something and they are just friends.

[DerBear]

This is a tough subject. Is she aware of this other boys previous relationships and how they usually turn out? If so, then really she is taking the risk and she knows what he is like and how it could end so the risk is up to her.

If she isn't aware then maybe mentioning in a casual way (because right now their isn't really a relationship, at best their is only a bit of flirting) his previous past of relationships and how they turned out. Just mention it in a casual way.

Lastly, you say you don't fully know the relationship between then and really there could be nothing going on. It is completely natural to feel protective over a friend especially when they are very close to you. However overall, she really is her own person, she will learn if she does get burned from this relationship and she will know better for the future. Just be there for her and if you want to mention casually his past when it comes to relations then fair enough. However if she does know then its up to her. The risk is her own to take.

[LouBerry]

I'd kind of wait and see how it pans out first. Like Derri said, it might turn out to be nothing and you could tick her off for no reason.

[Taryn98]

I don't think you should say anything until you know what their status is. No sense getting involved if there's nothing there. And if you really just want to be a good friend, you need to support her choices even if you don't agree with them. Girls don't like being told what to do, we just want to know that you'll be there for us no matter how things turn out.

[bmxkid313]

I was hoping you guys would say to wait and see what happens.

The three of us all have the same lunch period, and sit at different tables. Friday the one kid walked passed the table the girl sits at, twice. Both times they faced eachother. I saw that she gave him a quick very casual look both times, I couldn't tell what he did, but I could tell there were no hellos.

[ProudConservative]

Just let it go out. A smart man once said that loving someone in silent and letting them be happy with someone else is better than the person who always tries to intervene. Just let things go the way they will.

[bmxkid313]

I don't think you understand, I want her to be happy. I would want her with the person who makes her the happiest. What I was asking, is if I should tell her that he would most likely hurt her.

[ProudConservative]

I don't think you understand, I want her to be happy. I would want her with the person who makes her the happiest. What I was asking, is if I should tell her that he would most likely hurt her.

Let her find out in her own.

[bmxkid313]

Sorry, but if they where to get into a relationship I would rather eat broken glass then sit aside and watch her get hurt.

[ProudConservative]

Sorry, but if they where to get into a relationship I would rather eat broken glass then sit aside and watch her get hurt.

Again, I'm in the same position right now. But if you do this, and tell her, it'll make yourself look like a complete fucking asshole. It'll look desperate. You don't want to look desperate. Would you rather have her heartbroken and hate you or heartbroken and knowing she can go to you? Sometimes, it's for the best just to keep your trap shut.

[bmxkid313]

Again, I'm in the same position right now. But if you do this, and tell her, it'll make yourself look like a complete fucking asshole. It'll look desperate. You don't want to look desperate. Would you rather have her heartbroken and hate you or heartbroken and knowing she can go to you? Sometimes, it's for the best just to keep your trap shut.

Why would it make me look desperate?

[bmxkid313]

How will I look desperate?

[anyone50]

Sorry, but if they where to get into a relationship I would rather eat broken glass then sit aside and watch her get hurt.

I can understand how you feel but telling her that he's no good for her may drive her right to him. Even tho it's hard to do the best thing is for you to wait and see how this plays out and if he does hurt her it's better you are there to comfort her and not the one that said I told you so

[isaiah1038]

You may not like this, but it will probably work:
1. don't say anything to her about it
2. wait for him to be a dick to her
3. go to her afterwards and comfort her
4. she will see what she was missing by friend-zoning you
5. try asking her out again a little while after that