I need advice to get a girl. Please?

[max041299]

There's a girl that I met roughly a year and a half ago. She was nice, sweet, beautiful. Only one problem: She was really clingy and needy even before we even got together. All of our friends told me to ask her out, but I was hesitant for those reasons. She got back with her ex. We ended up becoming friends, which turned to best friends. We'd talk from 4PM to 3AM almost every night about almost everything. We told each other everything and I began to fall for her. I asked her out. She rejected. We stayed relatively really close friends. I asked her out a month or two later, when the timing seemed better. She rejected again. I then asked for advice on this website. The majority of responses pointed to telling her exactly what I felt and asking her the same. So I did. She said she had a crush but moved on. She wanted to stay friends. We stopped talking. This was a month or so before school started. Now we're freshmen in high school and recently she called me saying she wanted to talk again. Like we used to. I told her I would think about it. I didn't want her using me. She said she changed. She was on some drugs and drank alcohol occasionally...(not social drinking). She was really messed up. I told her I forgave her and that we would be friends, but it would take awhile before we got to the point we used to be. After that day we haven't talked still, and I've given up on trying to contact her. She has a boyfriend, and although I still have so much feelings for her, I'm not going to try to make any move on her. I don't know what to do. We have so much things in common, we agree to disagree all the time. We work so well together. She continues to give me mixed signals. Her boyfriend doesn't seem to care all that much for her and what really frustrates me is the reason she rejected me, both times was because we were too good of friends. She didn't want to lose that. Who's her boyfriend now? Her best friend since second grade. Seven years ago. Everyone knows we like each other, and it's pretty obvious to me. I'm not just imagining these things. I know enough to understand that. I just can't understand why she denies this? There are plenty of other fish in the sea, but none of them seem to work out for me. I know she will try to call me during winter break because she spends vacations with her dad, and no other friends. I don't know if she's bored over there and she's trying to use me? She has given me really bad trust issues. I just need some more help. Thanks.

[IAMWILL]

I think you need to make a decision whether you want to pursue her or not, because right now you seem like you're in the middle. From how you described her, I would suggest you move on and try and find someone else. I know how you feel, I went through the same thing at your age. I was best friends with a girl from 6th-9th grade, we talked for hours a day, went on vacation together, everything. I always loved her, and still think she's just about the most perfect girl I've ever met, but it just wasn't meant to be. She was interested in other guys, and so I had to let it go. I wish I had earlier. The reason this girl keeps coming back to you is that she knows you are going to be waiting for her. She knows how you feel about her and hasn't forgot it. If you really want to date her, you need to show her that she is not your only option, and that you can be with a different girl if you want. That will level the playing field and put the ball in her hands. Then she will have to come after you. But even if she does, I still wouldn't go out with her. I understand that you feel like you two are made for each other, but sometimes it just isn't meant to be, and this is one of those cases.

Its hard to do, but I think you have to move on. Your attraction to her is taking away from your life, because she clearly doesn't want to date you. She's had three honest chances and said no every time. Move on, try and forget her, and find someone else. People always say "she's the only one for me" but its just not true. How many people do you know that marry the first person they really like? Yea, I don't know anyone either. There are others out there, you just need to be open to meeting them, but right now you're cutting yourself off from other potential relationships because you've stuck yourself to this one girl. Move on now, and you will not regret it. If anything, you'll only regret it if you keep trying to get her for the rest of high school.

[max041299]

I know everyone is telling me to move on and that I will regret it if I don't, but she was the only person that I've ever even had any kind of close relationship to. Everyone else that I've tried to relate to, or to become close to, hasn't even got close to point we have. This is why I don't think anyone else can fill her place, unless I haven't met them yet. I have a lot of 'friends', but none that I can even get close to. Like I've said before, this girl has given me a lot of trust issues, and she has made not open up to anyone else. I seriously want to move on, because after so many people telling me to give up, it seems necessary. First, I've got to move on, which will be relatively easy compared to relating to someone else, and getting close to someone else, which is what I think will be the hardest thing for me.

[mariadouglas]

To move on is one of the most difficult thing for you. To get her back you have to know all these facts like Out of 9, 10 women are fickled minded, There are many women who like popular guys and the Women are very much sentimental,