ackmedsgirl666
December 18th, 2012, 08:09 AM
its been over a week and i still havent heard anything from himwow guess i really did fuck up this time. guess he really wants no part of me anymore. ive sent him countless messages. texts(which i found out wouldnt go through cause he changed his number) im so beside myself. im so helpless. i want him back. this was a 5 year friendship thrown down the toilet. but i always fuck up. i can never keep friends just as soon as i make them theyre gone and dont want anything to do with me anymore. well this friend was different. always tolerated my shit.. never let me down no mater what i said to him to piss him off. sure he would hurt and ignore me but he eventually got over it and would speak to me again. where did i go wrong. if only i hadnt called him a girl that day we would probably still be friends, if only i hadnt overreacted and called him a whore and other stuff all because i waS jealous because he slept with my ex.
later that night i spoke to josh(he has MPD) and josh told me everything.. told me that my friend made my ex stop the sex because he didnt feel right.. i spoke with this alter for a goof 4-5 hours and got to know him well. and thats why now i feel guilty. im hurting so much right now. i just dont know what to do. i want my friend to come back to me. i am not ready to let go. if only i hadnt said those things to hurt him he would still be here......
he might be reading this thread but even if he does he wont respond because he hates me... and will probably never respect me the way he once did. ive done all i can... he was pretty much my only friend
all the others ones never talk to me and are weird and rude.
he was the only one. now when i go back to my old hometown theres no point anymore because he was the only reason i went there
i literally give up and i just wanna curl up in a ball and die
when he left he took apart of me with him..
and now that im here alone i realize now that he was my everything
now im wondering was it even worth it writing this thread...
nope probably not
"because i want u ur my everything
u make me feel so perfect
u kiss me right and treat me right
i love u gay or not u know the way i am
im justin james"
wow guess this will teach me not to disrespect trans people again.
not after finding this on my facebook
"
later that night i spoke to josh(he has MPD) and josh told me everything.. told me that my friend made my ex stop the sex because he didnt feel right.. i spoke with this alter for a goof 4-5 hours and got to know him well. and thats why now i feel guilty. im hurting so much right now. i just dont know what to do. i want my friend to come back to me. i am not ready to let go. if only i hadnt said those things to hurt him he would still be here......
he might be reading this thread but even if he does he wont respond because he hates me... and will probably never respect me the way he once did. ive done all i can... he was pretty much my only friend
all the others ones never talk to me and are weird and rude.
he was the only one. now when i go back to my old hometown theres no point anymore because he was the only reason i went there
i literally give up and i just wanna curl up in a ball and die
when he left he took apart of me with him..
and now that im here alone i realize now that he was my everything
now im wondering was it even worth it writing this thread...
nope probably not
"because i want u ur my everything
u make me feel so perfect
u kiss me right and treat me right
i love u gay or not u know the way i am
im justin james"
wow guess this will teach me not to disrespect trans people again.
not after finding this on my facebook
"