Friend over my own brother?

[crowdlost]

I have only known my friend for about 4 years but him and i instantly became best friends. He doesnt have a brother and often refers to me as one.

I feel really bad, all the time, because im not so close to my own brother. He visits on Christmas and Easter only and even then we are "formal". We love each other and everything but we dont have fun and it is not a deep relationship.

I feel bad because i am constantly told that my friendship with this guy is "too close" and unhealthy even. Nothing sexual of course!! But just that we spend way too much time together. This is stupid, sorry, but i am tired of feeling guilty just because i have someone who totally understands me and accepts me for who i am and everything.

Thank you.

[Troy35216]

"brother from another mother". lots of people have them. you're lucky. he's lucky. tell people who have a problem with it to stfu

[dan8854]

Hey enjoy it man! we all need friends we can trust and love. you've got one so hold him close!

[Inventor2]

I agree with Troy, a brother from another mother. Its great to have a relationship like that. That way you know someone will always be there for you.

[Apollo.]

Don't feel bad whatsoever man, I literally chose my friend(now boyfriend) over my sister she said something racist to him when we were just super close friends a few months back and I haven't spoken to her since which is quite a struggle when we live in the same house. If your friend is there for you more and cares for you more than your brother of course you will be closer. I can say 100% even when me and my friend were just friends I'd of chosen him over pretty much any family member.

People saying its unhealthy and wrong are most likely jealous of the awesome connection you have with this guy so ignore them and cherish the friendship!

[FergusDunn]

I have only known my friend for about 4 years but him and i instantly became best friends. He doesnt have a brother and often refers to me as one.

I feel really bad, all the time, because im not so close to my own brother. He visits on Christmas and Easter only and even then we are "formal". We love each other and everything but we dont have fun and it is not a deep relationship.

I feel bad because i am constantly told that my friendship with this guy is "too close" and unhealthy even. Nothing sexual of course!! But just that we spend way too much time together. This is stupid, sorry, but i am tired of feeling guilty just because i have someone who totally understands me and accepts me for who i am and everything.

Thank you.


well who says you spend way to much time together?

Thats kinda the difference between friends and family - we get to choose one not the other.

I have 3 older brothers - yes we do lots together - get on most of the time.
cool - however much I enjoy time with them - its not the same as time with buddies in all sorts of ways -

[DerBear]

Its quite common for friends to develop a deep and caring relationship for each other and even view them as family. Its the sign of a strong bond. I think the fact that you don't spend enough time with your brother might be because you never see him really. It sounds like you get together on odd occasions and that isn't really enough to keep a strong bond. I also think he might be slightly (I am only thinking this) jealous at you and your friends strong bond.

The only thing you can do is make more of an effort to see your biological brother and try and develop through communication and activities --a stronger-- bond between family.

[Stronk Serb]

Be happy that you have sort of a spiritual brother, tell the people who say it is wrong to STFU and take a hike, I would also try to get in a better relationship with my biological brother

[crowdlost]

Aw, thanks to each and every one of you! You guys are great.

My brother is coming to visit this Saturday and this time he's staying over for two weeks and I'm very nervous about it. I miss him and everything but he does not like my friend. He is a little bit rude to him and it annoys me so much. I'm always so freakin' tense whenever the three of us are in the same group or something.

But then again, I feel guilty because this is the only time I can spend with my brother before he leaves again so instead of sitting and thinking about all these things, I should just try to bond with him more.

[FreeFall]

Just because you share blood, share a mother and father, or share chromosomes does not automatically mean you two need to be the bestest friends to ever live, or even close.

So don't worry about your brother and don't feel like you're obligated to be close and bond to him. Try because you want to, and even then he may like the relationship you two are at and have no desire to be close bosom buddies.
My one super close cousin on my mother's side was racist the minute she met my boyfriend. We were very close, she was more my sister than my little sister. She's black, he's white and I'm black and white. I don't take kindly to anyone calling people, anyone that I care about a racist slang, or being rude to them in general. The last thing I ever heard from her was "Cracker fucker" before I dropped her out of my life a year ago. That's just a little view in how you're allowed to pick your family. You're allowed to pick what relationships you have with them.

You nurture and protect the relationships you want. It's up to you, so really don't worry (: