I'm scared...

[Fallen Angels]

It's probably been a couple weeks since I got into this fight with my Daddy and quit cutting. He wanted me to quit and I wanted to stop hurting him. But, this pain is eating at me... I can't take it. It's what made me cut in the first place. Distractions aren't working as well as they used to. I'm honestly scared of what's going to happen to me. I've had suicidal thoughts and cutting is the only thing that helped me. I'm scared I'm going to get worse and talking doesn't help it just makes things worse... so I'm screwed either way.

Everything just hurts so bad... I want it to stop but I don't know how :confused:

*Edit* I think some of you got the wrong idea. My Daddy isn't the reason behind my pain. It's other things and how I view myself. We fought because I'm an idiot pretty much. I write these threads when I'm upset and make it seem like its other peoples fault when it's my own. I've got issues with myself I gotta fix I suppose

[Itsok]

First of all, don't be scared. I shouldn't really talk too much because I've been afraid of myself for 3 months now and have been cutting- which is far out of character for me... Anyway... The one thing I tell myself when everything seems to be way too much is "whoever argues with you and leaves you angry is not worth a tear, let alone a drop of blood." It has kept me from not committing suicide, but it hasn't made me stop cutting. You should really look to the things that you enjoy to get out of that. That's what I try to do. I try to stay with my family as much as possible to make sure that I don't do it again. But somehow it always happens. I wish you luck. Your dad isn't worth your pain. Especially a dad that pushes his kid that far.

[tubanic]

I can totally understand about cuttting to distract from suicidal thoughts, it's what I do. I'm not left on my own in a room in case I do something to kill myself, someone can stop me.
Try holding ice-cubes or hitting pillows instead when you feel like cutting. Tell a close friend or phone a help-line.
Don't be scared, people care and can help.
Hope you're ok :)

[dan8854]

i wish you strength as you try to stop this. be strong and courageous.

[Fallen Angels]

First of all, don't be scared. I shouldn't really talk too much because I've been afraid of myself for 3 months now and have been cutting- which is far out of character for me... Anyway... The one thing I tell myself when everything seems to be way too much is "whoever argues with you and leaves you angry is not worth a tear, let alone a drop of blood." It has kept me from not committing suicide, but it hasn't made me stop cutting. You should really look to the things that you enjoy to get out of that. That's what I try to do. I try to stay with my family as much as possible to make sure that I don't do it again. But somehow it always happens. I wish you luck. Your dad isn't worth your pain. Especially a dad that pushes his kid that far.

Thanks, but don't get the wrong idea. My Daddy isn't the problem. We fought because of me. I'm the problem. He's great and is the reason I'm still alive. We fight but I love him like crazy. Most of my pain come from other things including how I view myself. I never used to be like this. I was always bubbly. Trying to slowly go back to that.. it takes work :P

[tubanic]

It's good you are close to your dad. Don't feel guilty about feeling or doing things that are making him sad, you can't help it.
It's great you want to be bubbly again, it could be a difficult journey but a worthwhile one.
Good luck :)