What do i do? Please help

[NZLD]

So over the last year or so i have come to the obvious conclusion that mentally, i am really struggling. I'm extremely anxious socially and mentally, My moods are so erratic and uncontrollable that it has left me with pretty much no friends left. Sometimes i get so extremely enraged i feel like i cannot even control myself and the rage and anger is set of by the most absolute trivial things. My decisions are so impulsive I'm starting to worry about my safety and future in terms of abusing substances, self harming and truanting. I get extremely depressed and empty for long periods of time and go out of my way to try and avoid abandonment. Istay awake for long periods of time, usually 20-24 hours daily. I also feel like i can relate to absolutely no one which (this is going to sound absolutely crazy) makes me believe sometimes and more often than not, that i am the only person living in my mind and everyone around me are just images created to coincide with my life. Anyway, for months now i have researched online as much as i could to try and match a mental illness or find some sort of explanation, and i am extremely confident that borderline personality is what i have. for days now I have looked up symptoms, FAQs and read articles of others dealing with BPD and i can deeply relate and recount 95% of what i have red. Pretty much everything i have been feeling and struggling with in terms of my mentality in the last year was written under BPD. so i know the next step is to seek help and a second opinion and either get properly diagnosed so i can move forward, or to get diagnosed with something else or told i do not have it. What i don't know is how to seek help. I picked up the phone earlier and was about to ring youthline but then felt extremely sick and nervous i could't do it. I then looked up my family doctors name was about to ring that, but i felt they wouldn't take me seriously or he isn't the right person to ring. I do not want to involve my parents in this until i get a proper diagnosis because i cannot relate to either of them and they are both ignorant and incomprehensive with these sort of things. I'm 16 so legally i can see a doctor alone so i guess i just need to know, do you think what i have described sounds accurate with BPD and how do i go about seeking professional guidance and when i do what am i suppose to say on the phone etc, sorry for rambling abit but i am just extremely embarrassed and nervous with talking about these sorts of things outside of cyber space.

[qwertygirl]

Well it's great that you WANT to get better.. sometimes I just wallow in my sadness and just don't deal with it. It's great that you want to take the better road! Anyway, I say that you should go see a doctor, and talk with them. I'm sure that there have been others like you before! Hopefully you can get the help that you need! As for you parents, you don't have to tell them right away, but I suggest that you try in the future to do so. It wouldn't hurt for them to the know and try to understand. If you have a calm heart to heart, believe me, it's worth it.

[tubanic]

Once you get over the initial awkwardness of talking to a mental health professional about very personal problems, things get a lot easier. I would strongly reccomend you do this, as your safety is at risk.
They could give you medication to help with your insomnia, and therapy to help with your stress.
Trust me, it's the best thing you can do :)